guest question...

ninaelizabeth3

I was just reading through the post on the cousin who wanted to bring her BF and it got me thinking about a situation with our guest list I'd appreciate some advice on.  We have friends of the family that are invited to our wedding.  We are inviting the parents and their children (just turned 21, and 25 and married).  We have an invite going to the married couple and then one to the parents and one to the 21 yr. old daughter.  Here's my issue... the 21 year old just started dating a 37 year old man who was just released from prison 3 months ago, after 14 years, for molesting 2 little girls ages 4 and 5.  He is on the offenders list and from what I have learned, is considered likely to be a repeat offender.  I have already been told that many of my family, who know about his past, that they will not be attending our wedding if he is invited as a guest.  I have many younger kids that will be there as well.  What would you girls do?  What do you suggest?  I don't want to do something that's rude, but I also don't want a convicted child molester at my wedding. 

hoffse

I think in this case it's ok to exclude him.  I know it's not technically following etiquette, but I don't think having a sex offender at your wedding when there are people there that are similar to his past victims is a solid plan.

egm900

Considering the circumstances, I would not invite him, and if she RSVPs for him as well, say you are sorry, but the invitation was only for her.  

HandBanana

I think this is a situation where being "rude" and not letting your 21 year old cousin bring the bf is for the comfort of the rest of your guests.

Habs2Hart

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-question-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6993fada-f246-49c0-b0ce-f4098676f88ePost:8a37cdd5-f7ee-4ea6-8ace-293a17608f7a">Re: guest question...</a>:
[QUOTE]1. 21 year old needs her own invitation. 2. I feel convicted child molester is a good reason to split up a couple. 3. I really do not see how his age is necessary and feels like youre judging their relationship because of age difference as well.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

I agree with everything, but OP did say that the 21 year old is receiving her own invitation.

HandBanana

I was not ready to post, tkmobile!

HandBanana

In Response to Re:guest question...:[QUOTE]1. 21 year old needs her own invitation.2. I feel convicted child molester is a good reason to split up a couple.3. I really do not see how his age is necessary and feels like youre judging their relationship because of age difference as well. Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

I looks like she did give the 21 year old their own invite. Thats how I read it.

cookie0803

I think Emily Post would give you a pass on this one!

ninaelizabeth3

Thanks ladies, and she is recieving her own invitation. 

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-question-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6993fada-f246-49c0-b0ce-f4098676f88ePost:081cfd2f-300f-4935-9676-0dbfd64168d2">Re: guest question...</a>:
[QUOTE]No way would I invite a known repeat child molester to our wedding.  Not a chance in hell.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.  Especially if there are small children invited.  I would rather piss off one couple than put the entire rest of the extended family at risk because I felt I had to be polite to one person.  Personally, I think he gave up all rights to be included in events like this the day he decided to commit the crime. And this cousin has to learn that if she chooses to be in a relationship with him, she's probably sacrificing invitations for herself to things, or at least will always be invited without him.  

WTF is she thinking, dating a child molester anyway?

jemmini6

Ditto PPs, overall guest safety is more important than 'couple' etiquette.  If it's a possibility that he's a danger to anyone there, I would definitely exclude him, even if they were married.

heatherk2489

Generally isn't there laws saying they can't even be around kids under a certain age once they are registered as a sex offender?

ninaelizabeth3

She's not a cousin, in my OP is said that I was reading another post about a cousin wanting to bring a BF.  Sorry for the confusion haha.  But thanks for the advice.

pokepoke27

Ditto PPs. No way in hell would that guy be anywhere near my wedding.