glacier elopment and formal ceremony...invite wording

[Deleted User]

My fiance and I plan to get married next year. We are both mountaineers and enjoy the outdoors. We are the only ones in our family that live on the west coast and most of our relatives do not like the countryside.  We would like to get married on top of a glacier or rock (we are friends with another climber who happens to also be a judge). However... we also would like to have a more formal ceremony later in the year followed by a reception on a nearby ranch near the mountains with our outdoor oriented friends (maybe 80 people) and spend the rest of the weekend climbing. How would invitations be worded for the formal nuptials in this case since we would have already eloped in the mountains. Also, do we announce to our families that we plan to elope before or after the event?

~Mountaineer bride

baystateapple

It's fine if you want to do this, so long as you make sure your family and friends all know that you're already going to be married at the formal vow renewal/reception.

gurrlballa10

I would skip the formal ceremony, since you would already be married, but definitely have the reception.  Just avoid all the "firsts", and it sounds like a good time. 

If it were me, I would tell people before, but then again, I guess an elopement really means just the two of you doing it in "sudden and secretive fashion."

Meegles4

I would not do another ceremony unless it was several years down the road and it was a vow renewal. You get one wedding ceremony.

I do think you can do an "at home reception"/celebration after your glacier wedding. The invitations would just say something like "please help John and Sue celebrate their marriage" and then list date, time, etc.

I wouldn't do anything super wedding-ey at the reception. No big dress, no special dances. Just some good food, dancing, socializing.

Sounds like a very cool elopement!

Maggie0829

Your more formal ceremony is actually a vow renewal since you and your FI will already be married.

The PP had a great suggestion for your invitations because it will let everyone know that what you are inviting them to is not a wedding.  People tend to not be happy when they are lied to or deceived about what the ceremony actually is.

As for if you should tell your families before or after is really up to you because you know they dynamics of your family better then we do.  Some couples elope and then tell their families others tell first and then get married.  You have to think about how they will feel about you and your FI getting married without them and/or not telling them before hand.  If you believe that they won't be upset not knowing before hand then go ahead and elope.

ginadog

This sounds right up my alley!  FI wanted to us to both rappel into the ceremony spot.

Would the second ceremony be religious at all?  Or mostly for show for friends and familly?  Generally people don't do second ceremonys, unless it was a vow renewal.  It's like a big celebration party, or anniversary party rather than a postposted wedding reception.

I would say,

You and H were marred privately on XYZ date.

Please join us at the marriage celebration of
You and H

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_glacier-elopment-and-formal-ceremonyinvite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69bc42b2-c462-4520-ba6d-916ea4c691bePost:57b7a094-018f-4493-807b-b61fee8946be">Re: glacier elopment and formal ceremony...invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]I would skip the formal ceremony, since you would already be married, but definitely have the reception.  Just avoid all the "firsts", and it sounds like a good time.  If it were me, I would tell people before, but then again, I guess an elopement really means just the two of you doing it in "sudden and secretive fashion."
Posted by gurrlballa10[/QUOTE]

<div>All of this.  Don't repeat the ceremony- it seems like a staged play then.</div>

sharp0099

OP there'll be people who'll tell you want you can't do, but times have changed and there are many people who get married quickly for legal, medical, military related reasons and then do a vow renewal ceremony and reception at a later date. I've been to a few wedding celebrations like that and no one complained or criticized, but my guess is those people stayed home, which is a good thing. As some PPs said, as long as you're not lying about already being married it's perfectly fine.  During your reaffirmation ceremony, you should stay away from repeating things you did on your wedding day, like exchanging rings.  Maybe the renewal ceremony would be a good time to say personal vows. You can wear a wedding gown, cut a cake, I wounldn't call it a first dance, but you can open up the dance floor together. 

My only advice for you is, unless if you have a legal, medical, military reason for getting married quickly, why not get married with all your friends and family present, then renew your vows privately? 

[Deleted User]

we would like a formal ceremony... but the reason we are considering eloping is for health insurence reasons (I will not have any after april 2013). we dont have enough time to plan a formal reception/ceremony by the time with our current scedrules so we figured we should elope pon the glacier, but celebrate later.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_glacier-elopment-and-formal-ceremonyinvite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:69bc42b2-c462-4520-ba6d-916ea4c691bePost:01ca4580-c560-434c-ab1c-84a01f582429">Re: glacier elopment and formal ceremony...invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]we would like a formal ceremony... but the reason we are considering eloping is for health insurence reasons (I will not have any after april 2013). we dont have enough time to plan a formal reception/ceremony by the time with our current scedrules so we figured we should elope pon the glacier, but celebrate later.
Posted by hurricanefire[/QUOTE]

I can understand that problem but your guests have to know that you are already married.
If you are religious, perhaps you could do some religious readings at the second?

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_glacier-elopment-and-formal-ceremonyinvite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69bc42b2-c462-4520-ba6d-916ea4c691bePost:01ca4580-c560-434c-ab1c-84a01f582429">Re: glacier elopment and formal ceremony...invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]we would like a formal ceremony... but the reason we are considering eloping is for health insurence reasons (I will not have any after april 2013). we dont have enough time to plan a formal reception/ceremony by the time with our current scedrules so we figured we should elope pon the glacier, but celebrate later.
Posted by hurricanefire[/QUOTE]

<div>Why on earth would you be unable to plan a formal ceremony between now and April 2013?  That's 9 months away and plenty of time!</div>