Wedding Etiquette Forum

Friend wants to throw a party for me...

So I have this college friend M, who I am not super great friends with and due to wanting to keep our wedding small, we were pretty sure we wouldn't invite her to our wedding. It's not so much the numbers that I am worried about, but rather, M tends to be a sloppy drunk and I am sure she will be inappropriate at our wedding, which we just don't want to have to deal with. The fact that she is not that close of a friend makes it justifiable (in my mind) to not invite her.

However, one of my other good friends from college, E,  just got engaged, and M wants to throw us a combined engagement party with all of our college friends. It would be like a girls-night-in sleepover kind of deal, very low key. However, there's obviously a few problems:
1. I don't want to invite M to our wedding, but if she throws this party for me and E, I will feel obligated to. (E is having a strict family-only wedding, so none of us are invited).

2. One of my other college friends, K, is one of my bridesmaids, and she feels sort of weird in this situation because obviously me and her are better friends than me and M (K and E are better friends, too), and feels like M is stepping infront of her by trying to throw this party for us. She doesn't even want to talk to M about it because she is upset that M thinks it is her place to throw this party for us.

3. I'm trying to convince M to turn the party into a bachelorette party for E, because E is in grad school and we don't get to see her often (lives 5 hours away), and her wedding is much earlier than mine. This party would end up being about 2 months before E's wedding. It seems sort of silly to me to have an engagement party closer to the actual wedding than the engagement. I am saying this too because I am pretty sure this would be the last time we'd get to see E before she is married. I just suck it up and invite M to our wedding and hope she doesn't get too crazy? Or should I try to turn the party into just a party for E, and then maybe I can get out of inviting M?

Advice? Sorry if all the initials got confusing.
Happily married since 9/1/2012!
The Whimsical Wifey
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