is this bad...think FI made a boo boo but funny

lmw4253

So last night, our mortgage lady comes over to have us sign some paperwork for our refi. We are friendly with (she worked with us when we bought the house), but not "invite to our wedding friendly". Anyway, her daughter got married about a month ago so the wedding topic came up, she noticed our save the date magnet on the fridge, told her we sent them out a month ago, blah, blah blah.

Well FI starts telling her about our website (he is very proud, he did 80% of the work) and as she is leaving, he says, dont forget the website and grabs a std magnet off the frigde and gives it to her cause it has the website on it!

She leaves, we look at each other, laugh and both go "OMG, was that bad, that was bad wasn't it?".

MORAL of the story...I dont have to now invite her do I? She is a smart woman and would realize it was not meant that way? Especially since she just went through wedding planning herself?

betrothed123

I'd say that yes, you basically invited her by handing her a STD.

AmoroAgain

Don't use your email as your username.

danieliza1127

Wow, why was it so important to him that she see the website?  She's not planning a wedding anymore.  Weird.

Um, I do think you guys messed up, but I still wouldn't invite her.

bbyckes

I wouldn't send an invite.  I got that he just wanted her to look at the website. 

lmw4253

He is obsessed with the website right now. Its not a planning website at all...its just basically info for our guests and as you know, from yesterday we have a large bridal party and he made a page for each of them with jokes as well as tons of pics. He is just really into people checking it out and see the work he has done (and we had had a couple glasses of wine at that point last night when she was leaving).

I guess I will just see if she says anything from now until the time I send invites. I will see her a few times in the next couple months with the refi going on.

emilyinchile

I kind of think you have to invite her. I mean, whatever the wording and the context, you gave the woman a STD.

Also ditto amoro, anyone on the internet can find these boards and use your e-mail to harass you.

TheSaltyPeanut

I wouldn't invite her... like you said, she's a smart woman and just went through the wedding thing with her daughter.  Yeah, you screwed up, but if you didn't say anything like, "yeah!  see you there!!!" you will be fine.

lmw4253

I know I messed up when I made my emmail my username. But I did it august 08 and have tons of pics and guest list and budget saved, so will take my lumps of junkmail. I have been ok so far, have gotten some trash like wedding photos and expos i never signed up for but I just delete.

danieliza1127

I'm sure she understood that he only gave her the STD because it had the website on it and he wanted her to look at it. 

ohwhynot

I know it's juvenile, but when I read "you just gave her an STD" I giggled. 

Yeah, I think you kind of invited her now.  Oops. 

sarah0725

Yeah, I think I might pretend to be dense here. Official wedding etiquette is that since you gave her an STD (you skanky thing!) you need to invite her to the wedding, but I don't think any reasonable person would think that receiving a magnet for the express purposes of looking at a wedding website would be an actual invitation to the wedding.

ohwhynot

Now that I re-think it, I agree with the majority.   She should know the difference.  Please ignore my earlier pre-coffee advice. 

SwedishChick2011

Yeah, your FI kind of made a mistake by handing her the STD magnet, but she probably knows she's not invited to the wedding.  You have a professional relationship with her, and she most likely wouldn't even want to be invited.  I'm sure she works with a lot of different people and has no interest in going to their weddings.  That almost sounds mean, but I just meant to say that I don't think you need to worry about sending an invitation.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-badthink-fi-made-boo-boo-but-funny?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a6458fa-439a-4dc1-b729-6aeaceed09cfPost:a4aed191-c987-434f-a736-8d7d117d7cb2">Re: is this bad...think FI made a boo boo but funny</a>:
[QUOTE]I know I messed up when I made my emmail my username. But I did it august 08 and have tons of pics and guest list and budget saved, so will take my lumps of junkmail. I have been ok so far, have gotten some trash like wedding photos and expos i never signed up for but I just delete.
Posted by lmw4253@gmail.co[/QUOTE]

I did something similar, and just left that account, and made a new one with which to post on the boards.  Worse things have happened than what you're talking about.  I'm serious.

lmw4253

thats a good idea amoro...i will do that when my boss goes to lunch!

And thanks for the advice, you are right, she prob would not want to be invited anyway and I am sure she recognized the difference.