XP: Yet another invite question

Mmoray

I'm working on save-the-date's, and just wanted to double check that this is all happening correctly.. 
Overall, I'm trying to avoid the Mr., Mrs., etc. titles because they seem unnecessary, so most will be addressed as "Jane and John Smith."
However, I have one couple where the husband is a doctor, so I'm guessing that one should be to "Mrs. Jane and Dr. John Smith"? 
Also, another random thing. For single people (or my widowed grandmother for example) my mother wants me to include middle initials on the address. Like instead of "Jane Smith," she would prefer "Jane E. Smith." Any opinions on this? 
One last thing.. As far as families with children who are invited, is there any particularly "right" way to deal with the "and family" part? Like, if the invitation is for Jane and John as well as their child James, would the address line read "Jane and John Smith & Family" or "Jane and John Smith and Family" (all on the same line) or just go whole hog and say "Jane and John Smith" and on the next line "James Smith." Or something completely different? James is an only child and a 6-year-old if that matters.
Thanks! This process is annoying beyond compare! 

Maggie0829

For the doctor one I would do Dr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith.

As for the single guests, adding their middle initials seems kind of dumb and pointless.

For the family, you can either write John and Jane Smith & Family or John and Jane Smith on one line and then below write their kids names like Johnny, Susie and Penny (no last name is necessary).

pillsburyaj

I would say Dr. and Mrs. Smith.

Agreed about not including middle initials.

aragx6

Doctor and Mrs. John Smith is traditional (and reads the smoothest), but if you want to include her first name I'd suggest going with Mrs. Jane and Doctor John Smith. A man's first name shouldn't be separated from his last.

Putting their middle initials seems odd and a pain in the ass. Why does your mom want you to do this?

And staying away from "and family" is a good plan.

We just did:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
John, Max and Jill

Mmoray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-yet-another-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6ada4645-2302-4b9b-9b50-6d49ef0ed0cdPost:bc20bdd5-3814-4cd0-abf0-3de86cca0102">Re: XP: Yet another invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]Doctor and Mrs. John Smith is traditional (and reads the smoothest), but if you want to include her first name I'd suggest going with Mrs. Jane and Doctor John Smith. A man's first name shouldn't be separated from his last. <strong>Putting their middle initials seems odd and a pain in the ass. Why does your mom want you to do this?</strong> And staying away from "and family" is a good plan. We just did: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith John, Max and Jill
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

<div>I think she just thinks that Jane Smith looks very lonely on the envelope. This came up when she noticed that I addressed my widowed grandmother in the simple FN LN fashion. My grandfather died just a little over a year ago, so I think that's the only reason the middle initial was even broached as an option. </div>

Maggie0829

How in the world would adding the person's middle name make the invite less "lonely" looking?  Just skip the middle initial because what if you don't know the person's middle name?  Will you have to contact all the single guests to find out?

Mmoray

So if I actually list children's names on the invites, I would end up with this:

Jane and John Smith

James 

Or do I only omit the last name on the second line if there are multiple children? Like:

Jane and John Smith

Jennifer, James, and Josie

Mmoray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-yet-another-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6ada4645-2302-4b9b-9b50-6d49ef0ed0cdPost:4b342065-d981-4ad2-a0c1-665523433401">Re: XP: Yet another invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]How in the world would adding the person's middle name make the invite less "lonely" looking?  Just skip the middle initial because what if you don't know the person's middle name?  Will you have to contact all the single guests to find out?
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>Believe me, I'm on the same page. </div>

Meegles4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-yet-another-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6ada4645-2302-4b9b-9b50-6d49ef0ed0cdPost:5d400552-be35-4a16-b39d-0884cc5401fc">Re: XP: Yet another invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: XP: Yet another invite question : I think she just thinks that Jane Smith looks very lonely on the envelope. This came up when she noticed that I addressed my widowed grandmother in the simple FN LN fashion. My grandfather died just a little over a year ago, so I think that's the only reason the middle initial was even broached as an option. 
Posted by Mmoray[/QUOTE]

FWIW, my mom actually told me to address my widowed grandmothers the "old school" way -- so Mrs. John Smith.

One of my grandmothers had just lost her husband a few weeks prior, and my other grandmother has been long widowed, but still does refer to herself in that traditional way occasionally. You might discuss this further and see if your mom believes this would be preferable for your grandmother. Or, you could just ask your grandmother how she'd prefer to have the invitation addressed.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-yet-another-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6ada4645-2302-4b9b-9b50-6d49ef0ed0cdPost:1c6f4f04-f2a5-4823-8c56-411e2125be97">Re: XP: Yet another invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]So if I actually list children's names on the invites, I would end up with this: Jane and John Smith James  Or do I only omit the last name on the second line if there are multiple children? Like: Jane and John Smith Jennifer, James, and Josie
Posted by Mmoray[/QUOTE]

I would omit the last name if there is one or multiple children.

Mmoray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-yet-another-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6ada4645-2302-4b9b-9b50-6d49ef0ed0cdPost:87b79cd8-e757-4a51-99f0-cb3666c10608">Re: XP: Yet another invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: XP: Yet another invite question : FWIW, my mom actually told me <strong>to address my widowed grandmothers the "old school" way</strong> -- so Mrs. John Smith. One of my grandmothers had just lost her husband a few weeks prior, and my other grandmother has been long widowed, but still does refer to herself in that traditional way occasionally. You might discuss this further and see if your mom believes this would be preferable for your grandmother. <strong>Or, you could just ask your grandmother how she'd prefer to have the invitation addressed.</strong>
Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]

<div>This actually occurred to me this morning. I'll be calling her today.  :)</div>

aragx6

We didn't do last names for any of the kids -- even if there's only one -- but I do think it can look a touch odd, so if you feel the same way you can definitely put titles on theirs as well.

Technically it should be Master instead of Mr. for boys. I think only my grandmother follows that at this point.