Wedding Etiquette Forum

Inviting a couple: Her - fab, Him - fun, but a bit wild

Hi friends, this board has been so helpful for thinking through some tougher wedding problems.  So, here's a new one.

I am stuck on whether or not I should invite a married couple who are friends of mine to the ceremony.  I love them both, but the Mr. is a little wild.  Which, in my personal life is part of why I like him, but when it comes to weddings...I'm nervous about his behavior.

For example, when I emailed my entire friends and family (including children) to announce our engagement, he sent an enthusiastic reply--to everyone--that included the F-word.  It was an accident, but at the same time I wasn't totally surprised.  You know what I mean--he's the friend who is "the crazy one".

If I could know he would behave, the idea of having them both at my wedding makes me very happy.  But, I don't know that.  

How do I think this through?

Re: Inviting a couple: Her - fab, Him - fun, but a bit wild

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-couple-her-fab-him-fun-but-bit-wild?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b6d82eb-7b8e-4682-8f12-17d6c50085f6Post:d92e214a-f986-4772-adac-4677222eb570">Inviting a couple: Her - fab, Him - fun, but a bit wild</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi friends, this board has been so helpful for thinking through some tougher wedding problems.  So, here's a new one. I am stuck on whether or not I should invite a married couple who are friends of mine to the ceremony.  I love them both, but the Mr. is a little wild.  Which, in my personal life is part of why I like him, but when it comes to weddings...I'm nervous about his behavior. For example, when I emailed my entire friends and family (including children) to announce our engagement, he sent an enthusiastic reply--to everyone--that included the F-word.  It was an accident, but at the same time I wasn't totally surprised.  You know what I mean--he's the friend who is "the crazy one". If I could know he would behave, the idea of having them both at my wedding makes me very happy.  But, I don't know that.   How do I think this through?
    Posted by frosting100[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>You trust him to act like an adult.  H and I have some friends that can be loud, obnoxious, and wild, but we love them to death and could never imagine our wedding without them.  And none of them got crazy or obnoxious, since they are adults and know what's appropriate for a wedding.

    </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-couple-her-fab-him-fun-but-bit-wild?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b6d82eb-7b8e-4682-8f12-17d6c50085f6Post:d92e214a-f986-4772-adac-4677222eb570">Inviting a couple: Her - fab, Him - fun, but a bit wild</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi friends, this board has been so helpful for thinking through some tougher wedding problems.  <strong>So, here's a new one. I am stuck on whether or not I should invite a married couple </strong>who are friends of mine to the ceremony.  I love them both, but the Mr. is a little wild.  Which, in my personal life is part of why I like him, but when it comes to weddings...I'm nervous about his behavior. For example, when I emailed my entire friends and family (including children) to announce our engagement, he sent an enthusiastic reply--to everyone--that included the F-word.  It was an accident, but at the same time I wasn't totally surprised.  You know what I mean--he's the friend who is "the crazy one". If I could know he would behave, the idea of having them both at my wedding makes me very happy.  But, I don't know that.   How do I think this through?
    Posted by frosting100[/QUOTE]
    Um, nope. Not new at all. They're married. You're obligated to invite them both. Period.
    image
    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • @katelynbrian funny!  A little clarification, I'm not asking if I can invite only one.  I've at least grasped that much. ;)  

    They are very good friends, but not my beloved inner circle--you know?  So I guess I'm on the fence.  They do make me laugh until my sides split, though.  A little mayhem can be healthy!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-couple-her-fab-him-fun-but-bit-wild?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b6d82eb-7b8e-4682-8f12-17d6c50085f6Post:393a3c54-b4b2-4dbc-94e9-c5eeeddb8d6c">Re: Inviting a couple: Her - fab, Him - fun, but a bit wild</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Inviting a couple: Her - fab, Him - fun, but a bit wild : You trust him to act like an adult.  H and I have some friends that can be loud, obnoxious, and wild, but we love them to death and could never imagine our wedding without them.  And none of them got crazy or obnoxious, since they are adults and know what's appropriate for a wedding.
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]


    Ditto. Plus, I'm assuming he's been to his own wedding. I'm sure it will be fine. Even if he's a bit boisterous, I'm sure people won't mind. It's a wedding!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-couple-her-fab-him-fun-but-bit-wild?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b6d82eb-7b8e-4682-8f12-17d6c50085f6Post:79d6e2e2-f4e1-4cf5-9719-e03168c9400b">Re: Inviting a couple: Her - fab, Him - fun, but a bit wild</a>:
    [QUOTE]@katelynbrian funny!  A little clarification, I'm not asking if I can invite only one.  I've at least grasped that much. ;)   They are very good friends, but not my beloved inner circle--you know?  So I guess I'm on the fence.  They do make me laugh until my sides split, though.  A little mayhem can be healthy!
    Posted by frosting100[/QUOTE]

    <div>Like I said, our friends can get pretty bad when they want to be.  We seriously had zero problems at our wedding, even with a full open bar and people doing shots.  If you're that worried, ask a trusted person (a father or a mutual friend) to keep an eye on him and have him leave if he gets out of hand.  But I would assume the wife would also keep him in control.  H can get pretty ridiculous himself when drinking, but if he ever got disrespectful at a wedding I would leave with him.  </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-couple-her-fab-him-fun-but-bit-wild?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b6d82eb-7b8e-4682-8f12-17d6c50085f6Post:79d6e2e2-f4e1-4cf5-9719-e03168c9400b">Re: Inviting a couple: Her - fab, Him - fun, but a bit wild</a>:
    [QUOTE]@katelynbrian funny!  A little clarification, I'm not asking if I can invite only one.  I've at least grasped that much. ;)   They are very good friends, but not my beloved inner circle--you know?  So I guess I'm on the fence.  They do make me laugh until my sides split, though.  A little mayhem can be healthy!
    Posted by frosting100[/QUOTE]
    Ooooooh, I thought you wanted to invite wife without husband. Sorry about that. I'm of the opinion that if you have to sit down and really think about whether or not you want to invite them, you probably shouldn't invite them.
    image
    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • All very helpful comments--as usual!  Thanks Knotties. <3
  • DH's [Long Island] friends all seem to think the F-bomb is part of normal conversation.  DH says it's the only way they know how to tell a story... Umm... okay?  ( I do not think all LI people feel this way, it's just his friends/family do and they are all from LI)

    I'll admit, I was a little worried, but not enough not to invite them. 

    I did 'warn' my siblings, as they had children coming to the wedding.  They didn't seem to care.  If anything they were going to use it as a way how not to behave.  

    In the end I have know idea if they drop the f-bomb or not.  I'm sure as the night went on f-bomb were flowing, but it was not something that ruined the wedding.  I never heard any negative feedback about it.  

    Point is, just do not worry about it.  Most people know how to behave when grandma and older family members are around.  Even if they do take it to another level, so what?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I'm inviting a couple who's similar.  The BF is crazy--like banned from multiple bars in the area because he drinks so much and goes wild--and the GF is wild too (enough to date him, ha) but is able to control the situations.  I'm not worried about their behavior at the wedding though as they do have class in formal circumstances and know it's not appropriate to cause a scene at weddings.  I wouldn't worry too much over it, if he DOES do anything really bad, he will be the one who looks like a fool, not you.
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  • i have some wild friends too but they know to tone it down in proper settings.  and even if they don't, it reflects badly on them-not me or FI

    also, as my 87 grandpa put it "you think your friends are doing things we weren't doing? yeah, like what?  your generation didn't invent sex!"
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-couple-her-fab-him-fun-but-bit-wild?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b6d82eb-7b8e-4682-8f12-17d6c50085f6Post:409ab1a2-84a0-4c68-b9af-01850291b491">Re: Inviting a couple: Her - fab, Him - fun, but a bit wild</a>:
    [QUOTE]i have some wild friends too but they know to tone it down in proper settings.  and even if they don't, it reflects badly on them-not me or FI also, as my 87 grandpa put it "you think your friends are doing things we weren't doing? yeah, like what?  your generation didn't invent sex!"
    Posted by slwager[/QUOTE]

    <div>Your grandpa is awesome.</div>
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