Mmmkay. Opinions?

Sunshine9463

So, I need some non-partial opinions. A little nervous about posting this, but here goes:
We are planning on lighting a unity candle during the ceremony, and the candle will replicate our centerpieces. (tall glass pillar, submerged red rose, floating candle; in my bio if you want to peek.)

I wanted a little something said about why we love the structure of the candles. I wrote something out and my family likes it, but I was wondering about your thoughts: too cheesy? too wordy?
Anyway, I would like your honest opinion.

"The unity candle symbolizes the individual elements necessary for a healthy and happy marriage. A single red rose to represent the bloom of timeless love; a candle to light the path for J and K as they embark on the journey of their life together. And water: ever-changing, formless, adaptable. Just as water must adapt to its surroundings, so must love adapt to each new experience. Love endures only when it weathers the sunshine and the storm, forming to the seasons and flow of life.

The lighting of the center candle represents the union created today.  Just as the two individual flames become one, so do the individual lives of J and K unite to spark a new life together.

May their flame be eternal."

shellydiane820

I'm not really a fan of unity candles in general, I think they are sort of cheesy.  That being said, I think the little message is sort of corny.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mmmkay-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bbeef28-1128-45d2-915e-349a9edf2126Post:ada35698-570a-4b60-825e-1b69cb86819f">Re: Mmmkay. Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not really a fan of unity candles in general, I think they are sort of cheesy.  That being said, I think the little message is sort of corny.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

I agree with shelly, but I'm just not sappy at all.

Where are you putting this?  In the program?

Sunshine9463

I was thinking of having our officiate read it while we are lighting the candle.

Thank you for the honest opinions! And, for the record, I'm not usually a sap.

Perhaps printing it in the programs would be a better idea? Less cheesy that way?

nda_roxybabe

I'm okayish with it until the last line. It's a bit over the top sappy. I like the general idea though...

Sunshine9463

Yeah, rereading it, the whole "eternal flame" thing would probably get a big eye roll from me if I was a guest.  I like the rose=love, candle=light for the path, water=adaptability thing, and want to incorporate it, but will definitely work on a less sappy way to do so.

Thanks ladies!

apple_green

I think it's a bit cheesy but to each their own. I actually think printing it in the program would be worse than saying it out loud.

Sunshine9463

Apple- Definitely more than a bit cheesy!  I was suffering from bride burnout and needed some honest opinions, so thank you.

I will be revising regardless, obviously, but I'm curious as to why you think saying it aloud would be better than printing it in the programs?

nda_roxybabe

I think saying it outloud would be better  because you're not actually seeing all the words but rather hearing it. When its written down I think you would just dwell on any words or lines you thought were too sappy whereas hearing it, you're only going to hear it once and move on.
I wish I could put that more eloquently. My words are failing me tonight.

mrsamyjones

Ya too cheesy for me. But I spent hours trying to find a way to word my invitation that didnt involve a bunch of sappy love stuff. I mean I love my FI, but it's a wedding. People know it's about love and stuff, i didnt want to add more mushy stuff.

carrieoz_76

I think if you're gonna do a unity candle, it's nice to explain what it means to you, and this covers that.  I'd prefer to have something to listen to rather than just watch you light the candles.  Dunno about the eternal flame, tho.

But to be honest, who cares what we think.  Stuff like this in a ceremony is totally YMMV, and should be an expression of what matters to you and your FI.  As long as you don't have your dog joining in on the lighting or break into song mid-vow ("And I will always love youuuuuu..."), or whatever, I think you're fine.  

caseylynne21

i think the cheesy factor is there...but i think that it might be better to have it printed then in the programs...i know i would probably start the nervious laughing thing if i tired to read them out loud. i think that on the whole it is very heartfelt.

tenofcups4me

I guess I'm in the minority but I like it. Sure it's a little sappy, but what part of a wedding ceremony isn't? I think it would be interesting to listen to if someone is saying it, though a little over-the-top in a program.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mmmkay-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bbeef28-1128-45d2-915e-349a9edf2126Post:7319feeb-ca3c-4781-89b8-f6fa0f8e12e1">Mmmkay. Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE] " The unity candle symbolizes the individual elements necessary for a healthy and happy marriage. A single red rose to represent the bloom of timeless love; a candle to light the path for J and K as they embark on the journey of their life together. And water: ever-changing, formless, adaptable. Just as water must adapt to its surroundings, so must love adapt to each new experience. Love endures only when it weathers the sunshine and the storm, forming to the seasons and flow of life. The lighting of the center candle represents the union created today.   Just as the two individual flames become one, so do the individual lives of J and K unite to spark a new life together. May their flame be eternal."
Posted by Sunshine9463[/QUOTE]

If you have a pastor that is doing your ceremony, I would first get his standard wording that he uses for the unity candle and then work off of that.  You may like a lot of what he says and find a way to incorporate the rose and water.

Weddings can be cheesy, and since this is going to be spoken, not printed, it will go by in a flash and guests won't really think about it or analyze it like you are and like you're asking us to do.  So that said, the only thing about it that I did a double take and side-eye was the "just as water must adapt to its surroundings".  Does it?  I don't think water adapts, animals adapt, people adapt, but water is water.  I'm not sure that part makes sense.  But like I said, once it's said and people are watching you guys, they might not even hear it anyway.

jrksle

I love the idea. Its not cheesy at all. A little sappy, but I like that.  Definitely have the officiant read it, don't put it in the program.  It is nice twist on the normal unity candle ceremony.

tidetravel

As a subsitiute for your last line, I suggest this (from our wedding ceremony):

May your love so endure that its flame remains a guiding light unto you.

I also agree with Dani that you can leave this line out and not lose the meaning:

Just as water must adapt to its surroundings, so must love adapt to each new experience

Sunshine9463

Thank you all so much for your opinions and help!  
I think I will stick with having the officiate read a revised version aloud while we're lighting.

Tide-  That will definitely be replacing the last line! Thanks for sharing that with me. That's the idea I was going for, but couldn't get it quite right.

Dani- I agree that adapt might be the wrong word. I just meant that water forms to its surroundings. But I think you and Tide are right, if I take that line out it works better. When I reread that line, I thought of that soap opera opening, "just as the world turns, so do the days of our lives," (or something along those lines). So, yea, we will be omitting that, haha.

wadingmoose

I like it.

Although, along the lines of what Dani said, water actually tends to change it's surroundings rather than adapt to them, although it also adapts to them in adopting the form of whatever is holding it.  But if you think of a river, the water carves away the ground underneath it.

Also, water is pretty much a universal solvent.  completely unrelated, but you know...

Sunshine9463

Moose- my mind=blown.

I'm going to choose to ignore the natural erosion part, and stick with the forming to container aspect. I like to keep things small-scale.

wadingmoose

  I know, I got way too deep there.

I'll be honest, I think weddings are supposed to be slightly cheesy.  That's the point of them.  And it's the cheesy stuff that makes me all weepy at weddings.  

tommyandy

It's sweet.  Give a copy of it to your FI and ask him to edit it or to write his version.  Then combine the two versions.  

AmyL62010

I like the idea of expalining the symbols, so I gave it a little edit.  Try this:

"Our unity candle symbolizes the three elements of a happy marriage. The Rose: that love will to bloom for the rest of our days. Water: As water must adapt to its surroundings, so must love our adapt to each new experience.  And the candle: The lighting of the center candle represents the union created today.  Just as the two individual flames become one, so do our individual lives unite in a new life together.  May the flame lit in love today remain a lamp unto our feet forever."