Wedding Etiquette Forum

Letting Girls Know About Hair/Makeup

Can someone help me with the following email? I feel sort of bad that I'm not paying for them, but I already bought their (non-wedding related) gifts. I could maybe pay for their manicure or a massage, but not all of it. And I don't want them to think it's mandatory either way so it's weird.

Like. If you read this, would you be annoyed that I wasn't paying for any of this or something?

Email:

"Hey guys,

I did my hair trial today and I really liked the lady, so I went ahead and booked her.

I originally thought about having her come to the house, but she said they normally do mimosas and cookies and such there and make it a cute thing, so I figured I'll just go there, then back to the house to get in my dress. I have to talk to my photographer to pin down the timeline and such, but that's probably what we'll do, and have lunch at the house for everyone while we get dressed (the girls), then go to the (hotel).

I know some of you were interested in having your hair done, so I got a list of prices for her. If you are interested in any of these things, let me know, so I can follow-up with her and get it booked for the day-of. It is in NO way mandatory--if you want to wear your hair down or do it yourself, do it. I want you to be comfortable. I'm just putting it out there if you want to have it done. I do not care one bit. It's completely up to you. I'm getting mine done, but I may also do airbrush makeup just so it stays on my face. Otherwise, I would have done it myself.

Updos are $50-$60, depending on the style
Airbrush makeup is $60
Regular makeup is $40

The place is(Lady) Salon on (Street) Street in (City), so it's only about 10 minutes from the house.

ADDITIONALLY, the rehearsal is at 5pm, I think, at (Ceremony Site), and that's where the dinner will be too (FMIL is pinning that down) immediately after. But, at some point earlier in the afternoon, I was toying with the idea of getting my nails done or something. I also got pricing from (Lady)'s for that, and she does a pink moscato wine and makes it a fun day-before thing. BUT AGAIN. If you are not planning to be in town much earlier than the rehearsal, or you just aren't interested in any of the following, NO PRESSURE. I'm just finding out interest so I can let her know and get time slots for everyone IF THEY WANT ONE.

Manicure is $20
Gelish manicure is $30 (I think this is what I'm going to do)
Manni/Pedi combo is $55
Pedicure is $40 (I might, but I'm not huge on Pedicures because of my runner's feets)
Massage: 30 minutes: $25 (I thought about it, but I hate being touched, so I don't know)
Massage: 60 minutes: $55

ETA:  I think my thing is, I would have no problem paying for a manicure or massage on the day-before stuff, but...I don't want to require it, and if all of them don't do it, then I feel weird paying for that for some and not others.

What if I pay for it the day of, as a surprise, if I have wiggle room in my budget? And if it's only 3 of the 5 or something...that's not too rude, is it? 

I could add in the email if they are interested I'll pay for them to pick a service to receive the day before and let them choose between the pedicure, manicure, or 30-minute massage? I just can't afford to pay for ALL of it or for much more than $25 per person (I already spent over $100 on each girl--not complaining at all about it, I wanted to, but I didn't think about this part).

Re: Letting Girls Know About Hair/Makeup

  • Its nice you let them know its not mandatory. Some girls like getting done up by a pro, but others just like doing it themselves. 
  • Your email is not annoying.  It is just informative.  I would not side-eye it.  You could always add your siggy cat if you are super concerned.  Then they would have to smile even if they were annoyed. ;-)
    image
  • I was dreading reading your email as you led up to it...but then I was pleasantly surprised to see how you got your point across!  Nicely written. :)
  • Thanks guys. I think my thing is, I would have no problem paying for a manicure or massage on the day-before stuff, but...I don't want to require it, and if all of them don't do it, then I feel weird paying for that for some and not others.

    What if I pay for it the day of, as a surprise, if I have wiggle room in my budget? And if it's only 3 of the 5 or something...that's not too rude, is it? 

    I could add in the email if they are interested I'll pay for them to pick a service to receive the day before and let them choose between the pedicure, manicure, or 30-minute massage? I just can't afford to pay for ALL of it or for much more than $25 per person (I already spent over $100 on each girl--not complaining at all about it, I wanted to, but I didn't think about this part).
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_letting-girls-know-about-hairmakeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bdcee8f-b85d-4d75-917b-1759c8ab1215Post:b4d69dba-8317-4378-aa69-9f675b0071ab">Re: Letting Girls Know About Hair/Makeup</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was dreading reading your email as you led up to it...but then I was pleasantly surprised to see how you got your point across!  Nicely written. :)
    Posted by mlg78[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Really? I tend to babble. I'm not good at short 'n sweet, as I'm sure regular readers know by now.

    </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_letting-girls-know-about-hairmakeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bdcee8f-b85d-4d75-917b-1759c8ab1215Post:890126d1-303a-40b3-9bb0-604cb09f9c6f">Re: Letting Girls Know About Hair/Makeup</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Letting Girls Know About Hair/Makeup : Really? I tend to babble. I'm not good at short 'n sweet, as I'm sure regular readers know by now.
    Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]
    As a fellow babbler...I understand. :)
  • It's a nice email like others have said. I'm doing something similar to you. I am planning on paying for the day before mani/pedis for all. I sent a separate email to everyone with a general outline agenda (rehearsal will be at x time with dinner to follow. Planning on getting our nails done before. More details to follow). FI is doing a golf day with the boys while us ladies get our nails done. He is planning on paying for that. So we invited SO to join in if they will be around and want to attend so they aren't left out with nothing to do all day
  • I think that sounds fine. Maybe wait and see how many want to join for the day before. If its all of the girls you can decide then if you want to treat them. If its only a few you can cross that bridge when you come to it :)
  • I think your intention is fine but your email is a tad long winded. 

    Take out the part about your MIL and the rehearsal and the timeline (you're rambling). Stick to the salon services and break it down to day-of vs. day before. Give the prices for the different services and ask them to get back to you if they're interested in any of it. 

    Also, decide now what you're going to be doing as far as when and where you'll be getting ready. You already know that you're getting your hair done at x time. Let them know about the mimosas and different hair and makeup services. Tell them when you're planning to be there and about lunch being offered afterward at your house while you get dressed. This will help them decide what they want to do. Same goes for the day before services.

    Don't sound so wishy washy and ramble about what you think you might be doing. Keep it simple and to the point, otherwise it gets confusing with all the different information. 

    Reassuring them that nothing is mandatory but offering to pay for one day before service is a nice trade off. 

    Anniversary
  • edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_letting-girls-know-about-hairmakeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bdcee8f-b85d-4d75-917b-1759c8ab1215Post:c0f1d4f9-8df0-4961-8c17-5ac72616dca6">Re: Letting Girls Know About Hair/Makeup</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think your intention is fine but your email is a tad long winded. <strong> Take out the part about your MIL and the rehearsal and the timeline (you're rambling). </strong>Stick to the salon services and break it down to day-of vs. day before. Give the prices for the different services and ask them to get back to you if they're interested in any of it.  <strong>Also, decide now what you're going to be doing as far as when and where you'll be getting ready. You already know that you're getting your hair done at x time.</strong> Let them know about the mimosas and different hair and makeup services. Tell them when you're planning to be there and about lunch being offered afterward at your house while you get dressed. This will help them decide what they want to do. Same goes for the day before services. Don't sound so wishy washy and ramble about what you think you might be doing. Keep it simple and to the point, otherwise it gets confusing with all the different information.  Reassuring them that nothing is mandatory but offering to pay for one day before service is a nice trade off. 
    Posted by brita722[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>But they don't know about the rehearsal yet. I'm telling them that part, too.</div><div>
    </div><div>Also, I don't know what time until they tell me. I just have an open-ended thing with the salon. I haven't put together any sort ot timeline yet. If it's only me, I'll go later in the day. If it's them, too, we'll go earlier.</div><div>
    </div><div>BUT, you are correct. It's long-winded. My banter is to keep it from seeming cold, but I can stick to just the facts only.</div><div>
    </div><div><strong>I swapped the second paragraph in the OP to this: "<span style="color:#000000;font-family:arial;font-size:small;line-height:normal;">I'll be going to the salon, then back to the house to get into the dress. The photographer will be there for both. The salon will have mimosas, cookies and such, and I thought I'd get something for lunch at the house, then go to the (hotel) to start the picture process."</span></strong></div><div>
    </div><div>Little better?

    </div>
  • Yes, new paragraph is much better.

    If you need to cover info for the rehearsal then break that down separately and without all the extra information about MIL or giving the impression that you're not sure of the time yet. If you're really not sure then don't give this info yet OR pad your timeline and give yourself at least an hour lead before the time you think the rehearsal will be. 

    For example:

    Day Before

    1pm - Mani/Pedi's with me at the salon
    Join me at the salon in the afternoon for Moscato cocktails, girl time, and pampering. One salon service of your choice; mani or pedi will be my treat.

    5pm - Rehearsal at ceremony site

    6pm - Rehearsal dinner at restaurant 

    Day of

    11am - Hair and Makeup at salon
    My appointment is at x time. Please feel free to join me at the salon for Mimosas. Here is a price list of the hair and makeup services available IF you would like to have either professionally done. This is not mandatory. Even if you will not be purchasing any salon services you are still welcome to come to the salon for Mimosas!

    [insert list of services and prices]

    1pm - Lunch & Getting Dressed at my house
    Please join me for lunch at my house while we get ready for the ceremony and pictures. Bring all your clothes, accessories and beauty essentials. 

    2pm - Pictures begin at x location(s)

    [insert location(s)]

    4pm - Arrive at ceremony site/ Ceremony begins

    and so on.... This is just an example, change times to fit your event. 

    Presenting your ideas in a more organized way will help keep everyone on the same page. Be clear about what you're offering them (as far as what you can pay for). Keep it simple and to the point, and don't worry about sounding cold... you're not, you're just trying to stay organized. 

    Hope this helps. Feel free to use it to create your timeline or disregard it completely. :)

    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_letting-girls-know-about-hairmakeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bdcee8f-b85d-4d75-917b-1759c8ab1215Post:8e238a81-c89c-4808-bda5-aeb0d59ccf94">Re: Letting Girls Know About Hair/Makeup</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, new paragraph is much better. If you need to cover info for the rehearsal then break that down separately and without all the extra information about MIL or giving the impression that you're not sure of the time yet. If you're really not sure then don't give this info yet OR pad your timeline and give yourself at least an hour lead before the time you think the rehearsal will be.  For example: Day Before 1pm - Mani/Pedi's with me at the salon Join me at the salon in the afternoon for Moscato cocktails, girl time, and pampering. One salon service of your choice; mani or pedi will be my treat. 5pm - Rehearsal at ceremony site 6pm - Rehearsal dinner at restaurant  Day of 11am - Hair and Makeup at salon My appointment is at x time. Please feel free to join me at the salon for Mimosas. Here is a price list of the hair and makeup services available IF you would like to have either professionally done. This is not mandatory. Even if you will not be purchasing any salon services you are still welcome to come to the salon for Mimosas! [insert list of services and prices] 1pm - Lunch & Getting Dressed at my house Please join me for lunch at my house while we get ready for the ceremony and pictures. Bring all your clothes, accessories and beauty essentials.  2pm - Pictures begin at x location(s) [insert location(s)] 4pm - Arrive at ceremony site/ Ceremony begins and so on.... This is just an example, change times to fit your event.  Presenting your ideas in a more organized way will help keep everyone on the same page. Be clear about what you're offering them (as far as what you can pay for). Keep it simple and to the point, and don't worry about sounding cold... you're not, you're just trying to stay organized.  Hope this helps. Feel free to use it to create your timeline <strong>or disregard it completely</strong>. :)
    Posted by brita722[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>No way, dude, this was really helpful. </div><div>
    </div><div>And I'm going to not even mention the rehearsal yet. I'll leave that up to FMIL, who has ordered invitations. I'll tell them if they ask "well, when is the RD?"</div><div>
    </div><div>Also, I think I'm going to email them each separately. I don't want them to feel pressure to Reply All.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'll be back with more edits. You are my new favorite.</div><div>
    </div>
  • I did my hair trial today and I really liked the lady, so I went ahead and booked her. I know some of you were interested in having your hair done, so I got information on that. None of the spa stuff is mandatory. I have to call the salon later this week with a total of people/services, so think on it and let me know at some point this coming week.

    The place is (), so it's only about 10 minutes from the house.

    FRIDAY:

    1 or 2pm:  Mani/Pedi's with me at the salon
    The salon sets up pink Moscato cocktails, cookies, etc.  If you are not planning to be in town much earlier than the rehearsal, or you just aren't interested in any of the following, NO PRESSURE. I'm just finding out interest so I can let her know and get time slots pinned down for everyone IF THEY WANT ONE. I thought if you are interested, and want to go, I'd treat you to a mani, pedi, or a massage. Whichever you'd like--just let me know. But again, no pressure. 

    Manicure is $20
    Gelish manicure is $30
    Manni/Pedi combo is $55
    Pedicure is $40
    Massage: 30 minutes: $25
    Massage: 60 minutes: $55

    5pm: Rehearsal & Dinner (both at (). You'll be getting an invitation from Rhonda about that.

    WEDDING DAY:

    9/10am?
    I'll be going to the salon, then back to the house to get into the dress. The photographer will be there for both. The salon will have mimosas, cookies and such, and I thought I'd get something for lunch at the house, then go to the () to start the picture process with Frank (first-look).

    Updos are $50-$60, depending on the style
    Airbrush makeup is $60
    Regular makeup is $40

    12pm: Lunch & Getting Dressed at my house 

    1:30pm: Pictures start at ()  
    2pm: Board the trolley for pictures elsewhere
    4pm: Arrive at ceremony site/Ceremony begins
  • Sassenach1743Sassenach1743 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_letting-girls-know-about-hairmakeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bdcee8f-b85d-4d75-917b-1759c8ab1215Post:fa84ae63-0a1f-4663-9fca-e77dd04c31e3">Re: Letting Girls Know About Hair/Makeup</a>:
    [QUOTE]I did my hair trial today and I really liked the lady, so I went ahead and booked her. I know some of you were interested in having your hair done, so I got information on that.  <strong>None of the spa stuff is mandatory.</strong> I have to call the salon later this week with a total of people/services, so think on it and let me know <strong>at some point this coming week.</strong> <div>
    </div><div>The place is (), so it's only about 10 minutes from the house. </div><div>
    </div><div>FRIDAY: 1 or 2pm:    </div><div>Mani/Pedi's with me at the salon. The salon sets up pink Moscato cocktails, cookies, etc. If you are not planning to be in town much earlier than the rehearsal, or you just aren't interested in any of the following, NO PRESSURE. I'm just finding out interest so I can let her know and get time slots pinned down for everyone IF THEY WANT ONE. I thought if you are interested, and want to go, I'd treat you to a mani, pedi, or a massage. Whichever you'd like--just let me know. But again, no pressure.</div><div> </div><div>Manicure is $20 </div><div>Gelish manicure is $30 </div><div><strong>Mani/Pedi combo is $55 </strong></div><div>Pedicure is $40 </div><div>Massage: 30 minutes: $25 </div><div><strong>Massage: 60 minutes: $55 </strong></div><div>
    </div><div>5pm: Rehearsal & Dinner (both at (). You'll be getting an invitation from Rhonda about that.</div><div>
    </div><div>WEDDING DAY: </div><div>
    </div><div><strong>9/10am? I'll be going to the salon, then back to the house to get into the dress. The photographer will be there for both. The salon will have mimosas, cookies and such, and I thought I'd get something for lunch at the house, then go to the () to start the picture process with Frank (first-look). </strong></div><div>
    </div><div>Updos are $50-$60, depending on the style </div><div>Airbrush makeup is $60 </div><div>Regular makeup is $40 </div><div>
    </div><div>12pm: Lunch & Getting Dressed at my house  </div><div>
    </div><div>1:30pm:  Pictures start at ()   </div><div>
    </div><div>2pm:  Board the trolley for pictures elsewhere </div><div>
    </div><div>4pm:  Arrive at ceremony site/Ceremony begins
    Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]

    </div><div>Responding to each bolded section separately and in order:</div><div>
    </div><div><strong>None of the spa stuff is mandatory.</strong></div><div>1. This makes it sound like the hair services are expected and/or mandatory. It would be better to say this: "I also got some information on spa services that are offered at this salon (e.g. manicure, pedicure, massage)" OR do not mention the spa services in this opening paragraph, just talk about the information on hair.</div><div>
    </div><div><strong>at some point this coming week.</strong> </div><div>2. Don't leave this open... give them a specific day by which you will need an answer for your final count to give to the salon. Otherwise there is no sense of urgency to get back to you and you will have to follow up again. </div><div>
    </div><div><strong>Mani/Pedi combo is $55 </strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-weight:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><strong>Massage: 60 minutes: $55</strong></span></strong></div><div>3. Your original post said you couldn't afford to spend more than $25 per person. If this is true then do not list a 60 minute massage or Mani/Pedi combo for $55 dollars when giving them a choice of services that you are offering to pay for. This is confusing. This is the part that you need to keep simple. Either offer them a manicure, or pedicure, or a 30 minute massage. Also, for this portion of service information I'd leave the prices off (thus indicating that you will be paying and also setting it apart from the other list of information for hair and makeup in the next paragraph, which will include prices, that you WON'T be paying for). If they want pricing info for the mani/ped and massage services then they can ask for it when they come to the salon.</div><div>
    </div><div>That being said, the pedicure alone is listed at $40. Can you pay for that if all your girls opt for a pedicure? If so, then great. Otherwise I'd remove that from the list of options as well OR you can purchase gift cards of $25 each for them to use toward their preferred service. They may even save them for the next day and use them towards their hair. It's your call how you choose to go about this. I'm just saying, keep it simple. </div><div>
    </div><div><strong>9/10am? I'll be going to the salon, then back to the house to get into the dress. The photographer will be there for both. The salon will have mimosas, cookies and such, and I thought I'd get something for lunch at the house, then go to the () to start the picture process with Frank (first-look). </strong></div><div>4. Again, this is too much info about too many different components in one section. Just give the time frame that you will be in the salon getting your hair and makeup done. Invite them to join you at the salon if they wish to purchase their hair and makeup services (and provide the list of prices) or to just come and enjoy the Mimosas. </div><div>
    </div><div>Remove the part about lunch and the photographer... you will cover that portion in the next paragraph where you will be inviting them to the house for lunch and getting dressed. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>

    Anniversary
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards