Save the Dates and Plus One Invite Questions

Didgeridoo

Our wedding is set for October 2014, so we have a lot of breathing room for planning right now. The catch is, a good 50-60% of our guest list will be flying across the country for the wedding, as they live very far from us. I want to give them as much notice as possible so they can plan... how soon is too soon to send Save the Dates?

And we are having a relatively small wedding (less than100 people). We don't have an "A" list and "B" list, but in the event that people cannot make it, we would like to extend "plus ones" to some of our single guests. What would be the best way to tell this to someone after the formal invites go out?

Thanks!

rintin10

I personally say, you can't send a save the date for one person and then when your other guests dont plan on coming you can't mention to those people "oh, you can bring a date now".  You have to send the STD with the plus one in the first place (that's just my opinion). I am having a destination wedding July 2013, and I sent out the STD/invites 6 months out. I'd suggest aim for 7-6 months for the STD, and then the invites 5-4. That's plenty of time for people to ask for time off and book flights/hotel's what-not. Though, beware people wont rsvp that far off unless they are "sure-sure" they are coming, so give the guests a  deadline, like "rsvp prior to....".

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-the-dates-and-plus-one-invite-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c1a2a97-b98e-46a4-bb34-529027121ba2Post:43e74135-4c37-40b4-bdc2-cfe840ef6d8b">Re: Save the Dates and Plus One Invite Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally say, you can't send a save the date for one person and then when your other guests dont plan on coming you can't mention to those people "oh, you can bring a date now". <strong> You have to send the STD with the plus one in the first place </strong>(that's just my opinion). I am having a destination wedding July 2013, and I sent out the STD/invites 6 months out. I'd suggest aim for 7-6 months for the STD,<strong> and then the invites 5-4</strong>. That's plenty of time for people to ask for time off and book flights/hotel's what-not. Though, beware people wont rsvp that far off unless they are "sure-sure" they are coming, so give the guests a  deadline, like "rsvp prior to....".
Posted by rintin10[/QUOTE]

<div>STDs usually don't include +1s.  You put the +1 on the invite. </div><div>
</div><div>ETA: If the STD is to a single person who has to travel, the +1 on the STD would be beneficial because travel arrangements need to be made.</div><div>
</div><div>4-5 months is WAY too early to send out invites.</div>

Didgeridoo

Thanks for the advise, ladies. So after the formal invites to out, it's too late to add a plus one, gotcha.

And STDs usually don't include plus ones, only formal invatiations? Sounds like the best route might be to do the STDs 9 months in advance, hope that people who can't make it will tell me at that time, and then add the extra +1s freed up by the declines to the formal invites, when they go out?

SlothGoals

Telling truly single guests that they can bring a date if they wish, after invitations go out and you get declines is ok.

Like Sylvia said you just call them up and let them know that they can bring a guest if they wish and to let you know who that guest is by X date.

mlg78

I've attended weddings in the past when I was single and the bride told me within a couple weeks of the wedding, "please feel free to bring someone if you'd like!"

Kate61487

Some people will tell you when they get your STD that they won't be able to come (people with standing travel plans or who know they can't get off work or can't afford the travel).  You still need to send them an invitation and technically they could change their minds, so only extend those extra +1s if you're sure you can fit them in the venue/budget if those no's become yeses. 

But like some PPs have said I think it's fine to call up a friend after invites have gone out and you've gotten a few nos to let them know they can bring a date as long a all gfs/bfs were invited in the first place.