Response Card Etiquette

CALEO

We are serving dinner family style so we do not need a food choice.  However, we will be providing shuttles from two locations and I would like people to let me know how many seats and from what location.  Shuttles are optional. 

How does this look

The Favour of a Reply is Requested by the Sixteenth of August

M____________________________

___  will attend
___  will not attend

We are pleased to provide optional shuttles to and from the wedding.  Please mark the number of seats you would like to reserve on your shuttle of choice. 

___ location X (4:00 P.M. departure).
___ location Y (4:00 P.M. departure).


Questions:  Would this make sense to you?  Location X is in one area where there are 3 hotels we have guests staying at and location Y is the 4th hotel. 

Is the timing okay?  We have a 4:30 pm ceremony start time.  It takes about 12 minutes from the hotels to the ceremony.  I figure even if they leave at 4:15 they will still be on time and I didn't want to make people sit on the shuttles for a long time. 

Two - our wedding is Sept 14.  I need to get the final headcount to the caterer on the 30th of August.  Is August 16th (giving myself 2 weeks to get straggler rsvps etc) too far in advance (less than 1 month before the wedding?).

Thank you!

Maggie0829

I think what you have listed is fine and a 4:00pm departure time sounds pretty reasonable, unless of course traffic in the area is horrible.  Is 12 minutes the time it takes to get to your ceremony from the locations during that time of day or is that what mapquest says?

I would also include a spot that states "No shuttle is needed" or something of that nature so that you won't be confused if people don't fill in either location.

OwningAHome1981

My wedding is June 1st and my RSVP date is April 29th, so a little longer than a month. I'm not sure what proper etiquette is but i would say a month is good.

I have a question about the family style though- how is this working exactly? Reason I ask is because not everyone is keen on sharing food with other people, especially if they don't know them. If you have people at a table that don't really know eachother that well, it could be awkward.

Are you just going to have plates of a bunch of different stuff out on the table and people can pick what they want?

I'm kind of a germaphobe... I wouldn't like this.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_response-card-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c4a4857-367a-4ec9-819f-ecd4f5182015Post:57e0ef74-ae75-461d-b738-368d2e1ae1a2">Re: Response Card Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is June 1st and my RSVP date is April 29th, so a little longer than a month.<strong> I'm not sure what proper etiquette is</strong> but i would say a month is good. I have a question about the family style though- how is this working exactly? Reason I ask is because not everyone is keen on sharing food with other people, especially if they don't know them. If you have people at a table that don't really know eachother that well, it could be awkward. Are you just going to have plates of a bunch of different stuff out on the table and people can pick what they want? I'm kind of a germaphobe... I wouldn't like this.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

It really depends on what your venue requires.  If they want a final headcount a month out then you need an RSVP date of about 6 weeks before your wedding.  If the venue only requires 2 weeks prior then you can do a month out.  But it all depends on the venues requirements.

As far as the family style dinner, then I am guessing you are not a fan of buffets as well.  To me they are pretty much the same but instead of standing in line going through a buffet you get to stay seated and pass around large trays of food.  You are still sharing food.  But it isn't like you take a few bites off a tray and then pass that tray on, you use the serving utensils provided and move a portion of the food to your individual plate and then pass the tray on to the next person...basically like a buffet.

CALEO

The salad will be plated (and salad plate cleared), then everything else will be brought to the table on serving dishes.  They will be passed around between the table so you can take more of what you like and less of what you don't.  The staff replenishes as necessary.

I do understand what you're saying but these are tables of 8-10 and are going to be family members and close friends.  I've attended two weddings like these and everyone loved it because it was similar to a buffet (you can take what you like) but didn't require the line.  I feel confident that our crowds (big greek/italian families) will be fine with this. 

There are serving utensils of course so it's not any germier than a buffet in my opnion.

CALEO

And Maggie - thanks for your input!  I was worried people would think they had to take the shuttle so I tried to make it clear by saying optional. 

Does it still need something more?  (we are a little tight on space.... any way to make it more clear by changing the exiting wording?)

CALEO

What about this (at bottom of card in small lettering)

Please note that there is plenty of parking at XYZ Winery for those who prefer to take their own vehicle.

(should it say vehicle, car or transportation?  i can'd decide)

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_response-card-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c4a4857-367a-4ec9-819f-ecd4f5182015Post:3024ea25-7208-4529-ae22-7562618f18de">Re: Response Card Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Can you just change the wording to <strong>" We are pleased to provide optional shuttles to and from the wedding.  If you would like to reserve seats on these shuttles, please mark the number of seats you will need."?</strong> That adds some extra force to the fact that they don't have to take either without needing a 3rd line under the two locations.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

This.  I was trying to think of a way to reword it to say exactly how Stage worded it but I was having a major brain fart!

CALEO

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_response-card-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c4a4857-367a-4ec9-819f-ecd4f5182015Post:3024ea25-7208-4529-ae22-7562618f18de">Re: Response Card Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Can you just change the wording to " We are pleased to provide optional shuttles to and from the wedding.  If you would like to reserve seats on these shuttles, please mark the number of seats you will need."? That adds some extra force to the fact that they don't have to take either without needing a 3rd line under the two locations.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]


Perfect!

I am going to use:


We are pleased to provide optional shuttles to and from the wedding.  If you would like to reserve seats on either shuttle, please mark the number of seats you will need. 

CALEO

One more question:

I am ordering the cards from Wedding paper divas and they say that response card addresses should use last names only.  Ie

Smith-Jones
123 Street Avenue
Anywhere, CA 95555

Does that look weird to you?  I will be Jones after the wedding but I am Smith now.  It will be mailed to our home (FI and my home).  Does that make sense?

Maggie0829

Nope, doesn't look weird at all.  Honestly you could just skip the last names if you wanted to.

s-aries8990

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_response-card-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c4a4857-367a-4ec9-819f-ecd4f5182015Post:9de9eb4c-68bb-4ac8-807a-93668e7c3aaa">Re: Response Card Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]One more question: I am ordering the cards from Wedding paper divas and they say that response card addresses should use last names only.  Ie Smith-Jones 123 Street Avenue Anywhere, CA 95555 Does that look weird to you?  I will be Jones after the wedding but I am Smith now.  It will be mailed to our home (FI and my home).  Does that make sense?
Posted by CALEO[/QUOTE]

I don't think it would look weirt, the hypen indicates two names and as long as the mail person knows that those names belong to that address, it should be fine. I don't think the guests will think twice if they know the two of you.  Like if it said "Cree-Jergens" and no one with either of those names has lived there ever and wasn't either of you, it would be weird...

CALEO

Great!  Thank you for all your help today!