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Etiquette

Is it rude if I do not offer an entree choice???

So I still have plenty of time before I have to select my dinner choice(s) but I was wondering if it is appropriate to just select one entree?  At first I thought of having a buffet, which is $65 a person and would be steak,chicken,etc.  But the more I think about it the more I really want a plated dinner but I do not want to pay the extra $2 a head to offer a choice between steak and chicken.  I would have no problem paying for the steak for everyone but I know a few of the guests would prefer chicken over read meat.  ( I also want to say it is not a plain chicken breast, it is a very nice entree) So... would I end up looking rude and cheap if I choose chicken for everyone....???

Re: Is it rude if I do not offer an entree choice???

  • I would be worried about not having a vegetarian option. While not my ideal situation, as I would like a choice of what to eat, if you are offering me a plated meal, I will eat whatever you offer, and if there are drinks around, I will happily eat whatever you offer.

    Are there any hors d'ourves to give some variety before the plated meal?
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  • What about vegetarians?
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  • I dont think its rude to just offer one entree as long as you offer the vegetarian option.  But I also dont think an extra $2 a head is a big deal.  How many people are you having?

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  • What about your guests with dietary issues (eg. gluten free, vegetarian)?

     

    Also, I don't know if it's an option, but perhaps you could do alternate drop? At least that way, people could swap with their partners if they weren't happy with what they were given.

  • If under a certain number (and I know there will not be that many) they can provide a vegetarian option.  And yes, since the chicken is a little less expensive I was considering then having a seafood and a steak hors d'ouvre during cocktail hour.  There is also an open bar.
  • Yeah, I'd worry about vegetarians. I'm not a fan of only having one choice, but if you do choose that, I think the chicken would be better, because there are lots of people who avoid red meat for a whole host of health reasons.
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  • Why is your text purple? I'm up late with leg cramps and it hurts to read it.

    As long as you have a vegetarian option, you should be fine.
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  • I think as long as you are able to have a vegetarian option, then you can go with the chicken dish for everyone. As a guest, I would be happier with the chicken if I had some variety beforehand, incase I don't really like the meal. That way, you have a better chance of people at least finding one or two things they like.

    I personally would like the buffet option better, but I wouldn;t complain too much about the chicken option at dinner.
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  • Yea, we are having the chicken (which has prosciutto) and potatoes that have bacon as well, but we have asparagus and a salad.  And again, if necessary they can supply a limited number of vegetarian options.  So then we can all agree the chicken doesn't look cheap? I feel it is nicer than a buffet option...but not as nice as steak.  But again, I know that not everyone likes red meat. 
  • We did filet of beef and offered 10% veggie meals. Only three were taken.

    But we knew our crowd.  Half with shellfish allergies so no surf and turf, just in case/

    The 1 1/2 hours of cocktails had passed  appetizers, 12, half cold and half hot, plus a raw bar, cheese, fruit & crackers, a veggie spread.  I hate  to say it but I don't think half tthe guests had room for the 4 course meal following.
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  • add on.

    $2 to upgrade to a choice of beef if reasonable.

    fillet vs ;wedding chicken = win in our family
  • We aren't able to offer beef, since I won't endore any meat that's not organic and free-range. Switching to free-range chicken increased the cost by $7/pp, and to get free range beef would increase it by $15/pp. We just couldn't swing it, so we're offering a nice, free-range chicken dish, a vegetarian grilled caprese pasta, and a vegetarian wild mushroom risotto. Then again, I know at least 25 people out of 110 guests are vegetarians.
  • Since between my parents, FH's parents, and me, we all know the guests super well.  So we're just offering chicken - because everyone will eat it - with passed hors d'ourves during the cocktail hour.
  • It is not rude to not offer an entree choice, IMO.
  • I think it's rude not to offer a vegetarian option. You need to have something there for people who don't eat meat at all.
  • I can't understand how one meal can please all guests, unless the wedding is absolutely tiny. I know with our guest list, we had allergy requirements, as well as vegetarian/vegan food needs. There's no way they would have all been satisfied if we'd served one dish only.
  • Personally, I always prefer buffets or stations at weddings.  People can choose from multiple main and side dishes, including vegetarian options.  The more options the better IMO.
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  • K ByteK Byte member
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    edited March 2010
    Just make sure your venue can accommodate vegetarians and people with dietary restrictions (gluten-free, nut-free, etc.) by providing special entree choices, and you should be fine. I think most people would be ok with chicken as long as the guests who need a special dinner will have something to eat.

    oh and eta because I didn't see your follow-up post -- I wouldn't judge "just chicken" as being cheap, especially since you're having an open bar and appetizers too.
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  • Just as an awareness - my sister doesn't eat chicken but does eat beef.  (Long story.)  So - it works both ways.  I would always offer every guest an option, personally. It doesn't have to be steak, but it should be something that isn't chicken.
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  • I don't see anything wrong with offering just one option, as long as vegetarians are also cared for. I get that some people would prefer beef to chicken, or that some people don't like chicken (they can eat a vegetarian meal, then). I also understand that you're essentially throwing a party for your guests. However, if I have a dinner party, I make dinner, I don't take orders. If you're providing a good quality, delicious meal to your guests, you've done enough to be hospitable, as long as the one meal you chose also has general appeal. Yes, there are going to be people like Squirrly's sister, who doesn't like chicken, but just like it's proper etiquette for you to serve your guests a meal, it's also proper etiquette to not make a fuss if someone's generous hospitality is not exactly to your tastes. 

    As long as the one meal isn't crap and vegetarians have food available, there's nothing wrong with just serving one. 
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  • Yes, again there is a vegetarian option for those who need it.  Again, in my forseeable future I cannot think of one that will attend.  And it is not $2 to upgrade to beef.  My dinner alone (not including bar) is $56 for a chicken entree and it would be $65 for beef.  Then you add the $2 a person because there are choices.  And also it is not "wedding chicken."  I have a choice of about 8 chicken dishes to choose from and have only heard great things about the food.
  • edited March 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-not-offer-entree-choice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c6fd582-6288-4670-ab2b-d04a746607d6Post:e2e87a4d-106e-44d5-8749-7d2389979061">Re: Is it rude if I do not offer an entree choice???</a>:
    [QUOTE]We aren't able to offer beef, since I won't endore any meat that's not organic and free-range. Switching to free-range chicken increased the cost by $7/pp, and to get free range beef would increase it by $15/pp. We just couldn't swing it, so <strong>we're offering a nice, free-range chicken dish, a vegetarian grilled caprese pasta, and a vegetarian wild mushroom risotto.</strong> Then again, I know at least 25 people out of 110 guests are vegetarians.
    Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

    I think this is basically what we're going to do. Definitely a risotto, some other kind of veggie dish (maybe a vegan polenta and grilled vegetable stack) and maybe a free range chicken or sustainable fish.

    As long as you tell guests what the chicken has, OP, they can then decide to go with that or do the vegetarian meal. For example, if the chicken is marsala and they don't like mushrooms, they can have pasta. So in essence, there is still a choice.

    I do not think just 1 dish will look cheap or rude. After all, if they came to your house for a dinner party, you would probably only offer one main course.

    Long before I was a vegetarian I went to a wedding and got the chicken. Most people think of wedding chicken as dry, but that time it ended up being better than the beef everyone else at the table got!


    Oh, and for those who say, "There are no vegetarians on my list!" Well... I've been to weddings as a guest where I am POSITIVE the bride and groom knew nothing about my diet in advance. So you never know who will have a vegan girlfriend they're bringing, or who decided to change their diet a month before your wedding.
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  •  I will eat whatever you offer, and if there are drinks around, I will happily eat whatever you offer.  <---this

    I'm not a red meat eater but a wedding I went to last summer only offered one choice: some sort of steak.  At that point in the night after cocktail hour, I was ready to eat anything.  So I did. All of it.

    To answer your question, no I don't think it is bad not to have two or more meat options as long as you make sure you have a vegetarian one.
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  • Msmery, I want to go to your wedding. Your veggie options sound amazing!!
  • I want to serve Kosher as we are having a Jewish wedding; but there has been some debate on this. The caterer at the temple obviously serves only Kosher; but a Thai restaurant that we really like doesn't. We could and probably would choose 3 dishes to serve (including a veggie dish); however I feel that respectful to our beliefs, we should serve Kosher food. No one else in my family or his cares; but I never mix dairy and meat together.
     It is not rude to serve only one entree because of the cost. If you do serve appetizers, do make sure there are a few veggie only options. I was a vegetarian for over 5 years, so I remember how difficult it was to find anything decent to eat; but some crudites and a side vegetable with maybe a roll) works whiel I wait for the wedding cake!
  • It's not rude to only offer one entree option, but it's nice to give people a choice.  I don't eat beef, so if that was my only option at a wedding, I'd eat whatever I could and just leave the steak sitting there which would be a waste of meat.  I know several people with poultry allergies who wouldn't be able to eat the chicken or anything touching it if that was the only choice, so they'd most likely go hungry.  Do any of your guests have dietary restrictions due to allergies, religious affiliation, or personal decisions?  If you're limiting your menu, you should probably find this out first.
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