Dress shopping

WildRumpus

I'm going to visit my parents this weekend and am going dress shopping with my mom and sisters. I'm not sure what to think about it. I hate trying on clothes and having people look at me, and I'm kind of worried that's how this is going to turn out. Andplusalso, from looking at pictures online, I've only found 2 dresses that I'm really interested in trying on, and am only going to be able to try one of the two on.

Anybody else feel like this? Any advice on how to make it maybe a little bit fun?

Stackeye210

Try on the most off the wall styles you wouldn't even dream of wearing.  You'll be so surprised how different they look on person.  I was totally surprised at the style I got, it was not what I originally thought would be my dream dress.

EDIT:  Also, let each person that goes with you pick some for you to try on. 

andyandhillary

Stack just gave some great tips.

Also, even if you have a certain style in mind be very open minded.  Especially with moms, they like to help and suggest things so try to be a good sport about it.  I know my mom wanted me to wear something very traditional, beaded, etc but when she saw the dress i liked the most on we bought it because she knew it was right.

I also suggest keeping the party limited because the more people you have the more opinions you have and it can get a bit confusing/stressful.

Bring a strapless bra, wear nude/white underwear, and even some spanx if you have some already. 

skippylouwho

My daughter belonged to an organization where she wore formal dresses all the time so we were used to shopping for them. However when we went wedding dress shopping she was open to anything. The first time a BM and I went with her. The shop told her she could look at their dresses and select 6-9 to start with so we each picked 3.  DD told us to pick any thing we liked or found interesting. She wanted to be open minded.  I picked one I thought she might really not like but I thought might be pretty.... af the end of all the shopping (3 other stores at later dates) - it actually ended up being #2.

Don't be afraid to try on different styles. Try something sleek, try something fluffy, try ivory, white, etc.  Try strapless, halter, straps, sleeves etc.  My DD knew she didn't want strapless. didn't want to have to worry about having to tug it up during dancing and she knew she wanted off-white or ivory - other than that she tried on all kinds of stuff.

Do look at what other girls are trying on, if you see something you like, ask if you can try it on when that girl is done.  One girl shopping at the same time was trying on $15K dresses. My DD was in the $2-3K range.  15K girl spotted a $2K dress on my daughter and loved it. She asked to try it on, did try it on  and bought it.

Don't visit too many stores in one day or too close together. Most stores won't let you take pictures - if they know you are doing it and some cut the tags out of the dresses so you don't know the manufacturer or size. They shouldn't do this but they do.

As you try on dresses - send dresses back to the floor that you know you don't like. It will get less confusing for you.  Take a couple hair clips, if you might wear your hair up - then you can quickly pull it up to see how you like it.

Most stores will have crinolines and strapless bras for you to use but take your own if you are uncomfortable using theirs.  At this point you don't have to have your shoes but if you know the heel height you're going to want, take a pair with that size heel aong. It will give a more complete feel.

Try veils and headpieces on. Many shops don't bring them out until they feel you are pretty serious about a dress. Even if you think you want x style of veil, try on several different styles.  You may be very surprised. My DD was, she had thought no veil but now will wear cahtedral length.

Hope this helps and sorry it's so long.

lannerjarv

the first time i went dress shopping, i let my mum, best friend and sister pull for me.
i didn't even pull one gown.

it ended up being pretty fun.  even the dresses that looked terrible gave us a good laugh.

and make sure you try every style, even if you don't think it will look good.

temerityjane

Right before I went dress shopping, I made a big post about about how much I was worried I was going to hate it, etc, and got a TON of great advice, but most everyone said it wasn't going to be at all like I was worrying about.

And it REALLY wasn't. I won't say it was the best ever experience of my life EVER, but bring someone who isn't afraid to really give you an opinion (my mom doesn't like to say anything that she feels might sway me away from my choice, which can be frustrating when you just want an opinion!) and it's really not bad at all.

Let the shop people suggest dresses to you - that's how I ended up with mine. Never would have picked it on my own.

Also, get used to people seeing you in your underpants. It's not a totally dignified experience.

Brie2010

I had one day where I went with everyone to go shopping.  It was not the most productive, but you just kind of have to realize it's more for them than for you.

And forget about the online stuff.  Seriously, looking at dresses online is fun, but gives you no concept of what it's really like.  Check my bio for my "dream dress."  I tried it on and looked like a linebacker. 

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-shopping-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c8715f4-3b83-43eb-9e5e-4f77554f2170Post:eaac075f-5c4b-454f-9c85-34ba03d56b62">Re: Dress shopping</a>:
[QUOTE]Try on the most off the wall styles you wouldn't even dream of wearing.  You'll be so surprised how different they look on person.  I was totally surprised at the style I got, it was not what I originally thought would be my dream dress.  
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]
This. I just randomly pulled my dress off a rack that was stuck in a corner, it was nothing I would have thought I'd like, but it turned out to be perfect. And don't worry about other people looking at you, they'll only be jealous of how pretty you look! 

WildRumpus

Ha. Thanks girls, this does help. It's weird...I'm excited to FIND a dress and BUY a dress...I just wish I could skip the trying them on part. I get frustrated when I can't find something that I like/look good in

temerityjane

Jill, I was really worried that a lot of stuff was going to look bad and really bring my mood down and make me sad.

I'm funny shaped and finding clothes that look good on me is ALWAYS a miserable experience.

But wedding dresses... I am not even kidding, almost every single one is kind of flattering. And the ones that aren't, it's not at ALL like trying on unflattering jeans. It's COMPLETELY different from trying on normal clothes. Almost everything looks GOOD. If you're used to bringing 8 things into a dressing room and leaving them all on the rack, you are going to be shocked, really - everything will look better than you would believe. Obviously, some look better than others and some look kind of funny, but I didn't find ANYTHING that looked soul-crushingly bad and that's coming from someone who considers every clothes shopping trip to be soul crushing to some degree.

WEDDING DRESS MAGIC I SWEAR.

Brie2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-shopping-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c8715f4-3b83-43eb-9e5e-4f77554f2170Post:b8712c1c-3113-4141-b5b4-8df012e86c3b">Re: Dress shopping</a>:
[QUOTE]Jill, I was really worried that a lot of stuff was going to look bad and really bring my mood down and make me sad. I'm funny shaped and finding clothes that look good on me is ALWAYS a miserable experience. But wedding dresses... I am not even kidding, almost every single one is kind of flattering. And the ones that aren't, it's not at ALL like trying on unflattering jeans. It's COMPLETELY different from trying on normal clothes. Almost everything looks GOOD. If you're used to bringing 8 things into a dressing room and leaving them all on the rack, you are going to be shocked, really - everything will look better than you would believe. Obviously, some look better than others and some look kind of funny, but I didn't find ANYTHING that looked soul-crushingly bad and that's coming from someone who considers every clothes shopping trip to be soul crushing to some degree. WEDDING DRESS MAGIC I SWEAR.
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

I completely agree.  There were some wedding dresses that weren't for me, but it was way better than shopping for jeans.  Provided you're not picking out totally heinous dresses to begin with, they are all pretty.  I found that my problem wasn't finding one that I liked, it was that I liked them all too much.

FutureMrsTR

I get a little squee-ish about dress shopping, I really wish I'd gotten to do it more than twice it was just so much freakin' fun.  And like pp said, if a dress doesn't look good on you, it tends to reflect badly on the dress, not you (like your great Aunt Mildren who decides to wear a tube dress to the reception). 

I don't really have an additional advice, everyone pretty much nailed it.

Oh, if no one mentioned, go with your hair done a little bit and your regular make-up on.  It helps you get the full picture.

Good luck and have fun!

MissLeahM

I just skimmed, so if this was mentioned before, I apologize. But dress yourself up a bit, like do your hair and make-up. If you feel crummy, you will have a crummy experience.

I also agree with letting the worker pick out dresses for you because its what she does, she'll know what will work for you (most of the time). The girl I had was really awesome and made the experience pleasant.

FutureMrsDudley55

I went in with a very specific idea of what I originally wanted. I wanted simple, little to no beading, light and airy, and it had to come with straps. I ended up with elegant, ball gownish, beading and strapless. Just keep an open mind and you'll definitely be surprised with what you'll end up really liking!

vannymuse

This won't make it fun, necessarily, but bring some tylenor or other painkile, especially if you are going into it a little worried/stressed. Trying on a bunch of dresses gave me headache, when I went dress shopping .

spinner84

I would bring a camera (or a phone that takes pics). Maybe they won't let you take pics, but if they do, it's helpful. There's a dress I tried on that I thought "oh maybe it looks good" that looked HIDEOUS in pictures.

kimheartsscott

This is exactly how I feel, especially after trying on things the first time.  I realized the only way I will feel comfortable is if I go on a weekend so it is busy and the consultant needs to walk away.  Also, I'm going with my FI the next time I try on dresses, and my mother the time after that. 

It is definitely frustrating though.