Wedding Etiquette Forum

Rehersal Dinner Invitees

So this is my first post because, so far, that has been very little drama in all of my wedding planning that has warranted advice. So here goes:

My FI and I had been going round and round about who we were going to invite to the rehersal dinner because the restaurant that we picked had a room that only held 36, plus the menu is pretty pricy. At first I figured we would invite all of the wedding party, plus out-of-town guests, as the "etiquette" suggests. However, this would not be doable because of the fact that almost half of the invitees were from out-of-town. So, we decided that we would just invite the wedding party plus immediate family members, this equals 32. Then, to accomodate all of the out-of-towners, we decided to have a seperate event (BBQ) the night before the rehersal at my mom's house to which all of the wedding party and all out-of-town guest would be invited to. However, today I found out that my Grandma invited two of her neighbors (out-of-towners) to the rehersal dinner. She never cleared this with me and we already told FI's parents (who are also from out-of-town) to not invite their neighbors, who have known my FI since he was very little.

Now I want to know, should I just let the neighbors come since they have already been invited? Or should I have my Grandma uninvite them.

Some other facts include:
My Grandma is staying in a time share with these neighbors while they are here visiting.

My Grandma has offered to pay for their meal at the rehersal, which money isn't really the issue.

My Grandma also bought my dress for me so I am afraid now she feels like she is entitled to just invite/do whatever.

Any info/advice would help!

Re: Rehersal Dinner Invitees

  • You can't really uninvite people that were invited, Grandma would be really embarrassed and you don't want to embarrass grandma.  Bummer that she invited people without asking you.  Inviting OOT'ers to the rehearsal dinner isn't really required etiquette-wise, it's just a nice thing to do if you only have a few.  But many weddings have 50% or more OOT (mine's around 90%) so hosting them at the rehearsal dinner would be just like throwing a second reception.  Pointless.  I wouldn't host a BBQ for everyone the night before the night before, either, but that's because most of my guests won't fly in until Friday night for the Saturday wedding.  Unless you're dying to see all these people, don't waste the money.


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  • Oh, and make sure you mention to Grandma that in the future, she really can't invite anyone without talking to you first.  Blame it on the space limitations.  I'm sure she doesn't feel entitled because she bought your dress, she's probably just excited and wanted to include her friends.
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