Rehearsal dinner guest list question

KellyRVT

Do we only invite those that are in the ceremony? I'm not sure if we invite FI parents since they don't have a role in the ceremony. I know we invite our bridal party, their significant others, minister and my parents, but what about his? We are thinking about meeting everyone back at the hotel bar for an informal gathering after the rehearsal dinner, although his father isn't staying at that hotel (something about being able to use his marriott points) and doesn't drink. 

KellyRVT

Do we do separate invitations for this as well?

Irishcurls

They should be extended an invitation. RDs usually include people involved in the ceremony, family and sometimes out of town guests that come in a day early. 

pantherRN

His parents should be invited. They are his parents for pete's sake.

banana468

Immediate family should be invited. Aren't his parents walking down the aisle in the processional?

KellyRVT

His parents are divorced, remarried and don't particularly get along. Otherwise it wouldn't matter. We have to seat the separately at the ceremony and wedding.

It's an outdoor wedding at an amphitheater so there isn't really a processional. We still have to figure out the logistics. I'm sure we could arrange it though. Just haven't gotten that far yet.

banana468

So they sit separately at the RD. They're still part of the ceremony. Why was that even a question?

KellyRVT

Sorry, this is my first time planning a wedding and I'm not as well versed on some things as everyone else might be, which is why I wanted to ask here on the boards.

banana468

Yeah they're included. They'll also be needed for the ceremony rehearsal.

ootmother2

sheesh!  Am I the only person in the world who could make nice when OUR daughter got married?

If it's that bad, just seat them at opposite ends.

and good luck!

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-guest-list-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6e3c3b6e-dd00-4048-bacc-3fd460b9e6ccPost:3765178b-5565-49e5-9620-0af6dd7928e3">Re: Rehearsal dinner guest list question</a>:
[QUOTE]sheesh!  Am I the only person in the world who could make nice when OUR daughter got married? If it's that bad, just seat them at opposite ends. and good luck!
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

<div>I think most people agree, oot, that you were probably a cooler MOB than most.  :)</div><div>
</div><div>OP -- yes, traditionally the parents of the groom attend the RD.  I will suggest again that you lurk a bit on these boards and be a  little less defensive.  No one was attacking you.</div>

ootmother2

thanks mica

I sent a PM earlier today

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-guest-list-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6e3c3b6e-dd00-4048-bacc-3fd460b9e6ccPost:fbd44bf4-29a0-4dff-b4ef-0657835bb48e">Re: Rehearsal dinner guest list question</a>:
[QUOTE]His parents are divorced, remarried and don't particularly get along. Otherwise it wouldn't matter. We have to seat the separately at the ceremony and wedding. It's an outdoor wedding at an amphitheater so there isn't really a processional. We still have to figure out the logistics. I'm sure we could arrange it though. Just haven't gotten that far yet. :)
Posted by KellyRVT[/QUOTE]


My parents also sat separately at the ceremony. And the rehearsal dinner. And they didn't contribute to my wedding, but they would have been devestated not to be invited to the RD.

bczican77

Our rehearsal dinner is including our entire WP (which includes the SO and kids), the photographer, our parents and any out of town family.  We are looking at about 90 people for the RD.  I didn't realize that out of town family was included in this until my FSIL told me. However, I never thought of not including my parents.  I always thought parents of both the bride and groom were a given to be included in everything relating to the wedding.

firsttimersluck

You want them to feel important, as they spent years raising the man that you get to keep for your whole life now. My parents are divorced and it was messy as well. I have little relationship wise with my father so he isn't included in the wedding, but my mom is my mom so she is invited to the rehearsal dinner. It's for those people that matter, whether they are in the cerimony or not. Talk to your FI I'm sure he has an opinion on this topic since they are HIS parents, but keep in mind they ARE divorced, so if he's close to one but not the other (like I am) it's not insulting to reach the invite out to one of the two (he/she probably won't know about it anyway)