Should I say something?

[Deleted User]

One of my college classmates just recently got engaged. Her and her FI have been together for eight years and they're very happy. Just a little bit ago she posted this on her FB:

"So flipping excited for Antarctica, you have no idea. Cant wait to start talkng to travel agents! We're having a honeymoon registry, so if you want to pay for part of our trip, we'll send you a postcard from the Antarctic post office."

I was at a loss when I read this. It's just wrong, rude, and tacky. I really like this girl and I truly believe that she doesn't know just how rude she's being. Would I be out of place if I messaged her and let her know what's wrong with this?

Simply Fated

I wouldn't, but only because facebook confrontations rarely end well. Are you close to this girl? If you're close enough I might try something passive, like... Is it just a regular status update? Try- "Is everyone on your facebook invited to your wedding? Because you just asked everyone to pay for your honeymoon, so I guess that's a yes? lol"

cebrady89

I wouldn't say anything unless she's your best friend. You could come off as rude otherwise. 

But I must ask...is she serious? Are they actually planning a honeymoon in Antarctica? I only ask because people post alot of inside joke type things on Facebook, so ya never know. If she's for real though, that's really rude, but I'd still keep my mouth shut.

[Deleted User]

I'm not super close to her. We sang in choir together while traveling through Europe two years ago. I would just call her a friend. And yes, coming from them, they are totally serious about going to Antarctica.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6e5813f8-bdcd-462c-a06c-4bd7a60afcf2Post:9f3556b9-a861-4b93-8275-6be221910377">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not super close to her. We sang in choir together while traveling through Europe two years ago. I would just call her a friend. And yes, coming from them, they are totally serious about going to Antarctica.
Posted by JordanF13[/QUOTE]


Honestly, I wouldn't say anything. It's facebook, and not like she said it to your actual face, ya know?

I dunno, Im just not a fan of fb confrontations.

cebrady89

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6e5813f8-bdcd-462c-a06c-4bd7a60afcf2Post:2a630bf9-7dcb-47d2-8146-d46f5bdf9e6b">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Should I say something? : Honestly, I wouldn't say anything. It's facebook, and not like she said it to your actual face, ya know? I dunno, Im just not a fan of fb confrontations.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Agreed.</div>

chattychiqa

Rude, yes...she's rude and tacky...but unless she's your BFF or your little sister, leave the confrontations to someone in her inner circle :-)

[Deleted User]

Yeah, you guys are right. I just need to bite my lip and keep my mouth shut. I hope that she comes to her senses and doesn't do this. Honestly it makes more sense to register for camping gear and appropriate attire for cold climate rather than this. But I'll refrain from talking to her about this.

CFM102012

Maybe you could mention that you're part of The Knot community. Get her to come here and let the fine ladies of E set her straight on her HM registry.

chattychiqa

Wait a second....so honeymoon registries are frowned upon? Or the way she is advertising is frowned upon? I thought what she was saying was tacky but not the honeymoon reg itself.

Stackeye210

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6e5813f8-bdcd-462c-a06c-4bd7a60afcf2Post:658cf749-61f9-4230-8033-86f3e403e545">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait a second....so honeymoon registries are frowned upon? Or the way she is advertising is frowned upon? I thought what she was saying was tacky but not the honeymoon reg itself.
Posted by chattychiqa[/QUOTE]

<div>The way she is advertising is definitely frowned upon.  I personally feel like honeymoon registries are not cool.  First off, they charge your guests fees, so say they buy you an excursion and pay $50 to the company, the b&g probably only get like $45 of that.  Also, you don't get the excursions necessarily, the companies give you the cash.  So basically it's like a backhanded way of registering for cash.  Also, you're asking people to fund your sex fest.  In my book, not cool.</div><div>
</div><div>There are plenty of people that find them perfectly acceptable, not to mention the wedding industry is pushing honeymoon registries very hardcore, so it's hard to decipher right and wrong at this point.  I will always feel it's wrong and choose not to contribute, but I wouldn't necessarily side eye anyone at this point for having one.  </div>

mkrupar

What Stacks said. If I wanted to gift my friends something on their HM I'd find out where they're staying and suprise them with a spa package or dinner at the resort restaurant. I don't need them to tell me what they're "going to do" on their HM, but not actually do it because they've just been given a load of cash vs. actual certificates for the activites that were on their HR.

Mrs.B6302007

I agree with the others. Stay out of it.

Birdie1483

Yup I would stay out of it. It's not really your place to be etiquette police with others.

And I'm not a fan of honeymoon registries either. If you want nice things on your honeymoon, use the cash you get to pay for it.

rebarobert2012

I would stay out of it.  I know that you mean well, but sometimes things can be misinterpreted over FB.  Also, it's possible that someone else will say something to her.  Or, people just won't contribute to the honeymoon registry and just give cash or another gift.

raes19

If one of my friends put that on facebook, I would probably comment with "I don't want to be the one responsible for your new husband's penis falling off due to frostbite because you guys decided to have sex on an iceberg" - but I'm an ass like that.

freebread03

I'm just super interested on why she's honeymooning in Antarctica.  

Unless she's your closest of close friends, don't say anything.  People post rude stuff on FB all the time, and there's not much anyone can do about it.  

Ali092011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6e5813f8-bdcd-462c-a06c-4bd7a60afcf2Post:d00ed71f-ffae-4d95-a335-22e5bb518639">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]If one of my friends put that on facebook, I would probably comment with "I don't want to be the one responsible for your new husband's penis falling off due to frostbite because you guys decided to have sex on an iceberg" - but I'm an ass like that.
Posted by raes19[/QUOTE]

I laughed out loud and scared my cat.

Seriously, who wants to go somewhere COLDER on their honeymoon?!

[Deleted User]

Yeah you guys are right. I won't say anything. And thank you for listening to my concern. I don't feel %100 good about registries. For me I think something more tangible like sleeping bags that you can use over and over again would be a better thing to register for. I also thought her announcing that on FB was incredibly rude as well. I may just mention to her TK. I mean, you guys have helped me out a ton, maybe she'll want to come over here herself. Thank you guys for your help!