Bridal Shower - Who hosts?

Diananicole7

Who hosts the shower? Isn't it just whoever offers to host it? Or is it the bridal party's responsibility to pay for the shower?

The reason I am asking is because I am in a wedding and the sister of the bride (who is also the maid of honor) and the bride made all of the plans for the bridal shower and then told all of the bridesmaids that they would be splitting the bill. I would also like to mention that the moh isn't paying for any part of it. I thought that was extremely rude.

I understand that it is COMMON for the bridal party to host the shower, but when you agree to be in a wedding, is that one of the responsibilities?

dumdumfroggie

No, parties aren't required.  A lot of times the bridesmaid's will pitch together, but it is in no way required.

The bride shouldn't be involved in planning or throwing the party, however.

laurenclaire1386

Nope, it sure isn't. You've got the right idea: it's nice, but it's not required. MOH making plans then assuming everyone else will foot the bill is rude. If you can't afford to chip in, I'd let the MOH know that since you weren't consulted about your budget/what you could afford to do/if you wanted to host a shower at all, then you're not going to be able to contribute. 

melb2013

Showers are not a requirement for getting married, so the bride should have no part in it.  If the MOH wants to plan it all without consulting anyone, then she needs to pay for all of it too.  It is 100% not a bridesmaid's responsibility to host a shower.

Simply Fated

The MOH/sister and the bride planned the party and are just handing the bill over to the bridesmaids? Did I get that right? I don't think that's acceptable for any kind of party. It's weird, no? Do you want to contribute financially? If so, put in what you can and not a penny more. If you don't want to, I dont blame you.

ginadog

I would say whoever offers to host a shower, hosts the shower.  It used to be that no sisters or mothers could host, as it looked gift grabby on behalf of your family, but not so much these days.  If no one offers, then a shower doesn't happen.

HTR10

I was in four weddings last year. This is how it went to down.

1. I was a bridesmaid; the bride's aunts and cousins threw the shower. I offered to help but since the fam was taking care of it I just attended and wrote down the gifts.

2. I was the MOH/sister; I threw the shower and my family helped with food (potluck style is how our family generally does showers so my aunts and grandma helped) but I paid for all decorations/favors/games etc. 

3. I was a bridesmaid; the bride's sister/MOH and her mother and mother-in-law threw the shower. The MOH sent out an email and said that they would pay for everything but it would be nice if we could help set up and do games etc. I've been friends with her since grade school and already asked who was throwing her a shower so I had no problem doing that. 

4. I was a bridesmaid; the bride's sister/MOH and her mother and mother-in-law threw the shower. They paid for everything. I offered to help set-up/tear-down and attended the shower. 

In all instances I personally made sure that they were having a shower---and offered to help out, BUT as everyone has said technically etiquette says you are required to do no such thing. But I always feel bad and want to make sure they had a shower--but they also weren't very bridezillay so it was easy to care:) 

Good luck!

ChatonDeSexe

I'm a BM in two weddings this summer. Both MOHs planned the shower without any input from the other BMs and just told us what we owe (which is ridiculous to me, especially since they never asked for a budget). Both even went as far as to buy both shower AND bachelorette party gifts and tell us what we owe for them, without consulting us. I really don't think that's how it is supposed to go though!! It IS extremely rude.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

"Sorry, MOH. I didn't think I was going to be hosting this shower, so I haven't budgeted to pay for anything. I can help set up earlier that day, though, and clean up after."