What rule of etiquette would you consider breaching?

jena.n.ross

We might be doing a dollar dance, I figure we'll play it by ear.  They're common/expected around here, and everyone involved that I've talked to about thinks they're fun.  

I'll be including website information on our invites.  We're doing seal-n-send invites, so everything that we would "normally" go into an envelope will need to be printed on the actual invite.

On our website, I'll put attire comments (well, it's an outdoor ceremony, I want people to dress warmly enough for the 20 minutes or so they'll be outdoors). Also, registry info, in the smallest available font, buried in the bottom of the page.

tenofcups4me

Most of these aren't faux pas -- choosing inexpensive options is not a breach of etiquette.

I can think of two things that people here say are a breach of etiquette for my first wedding. I refused to address the envelopes as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith broke funny with the layout of our vertical envelopes. So I asked the calligrapher to set it up:
Mrs. Jane Smith and
Mr. John Smith

and sometimes
Mr. John Smith and
Mrs. Jane Smith

depending on which part of the couple we knew better. I was happy with that decision and would do it again.

It was also "black tie optional," which is quite common in my crowd even though it's frowned on  here. Black tie is considered pretentious, but if it doesn't say anything about black tie, then people will not wear their tuxes or gowns regardless of how formal the invitations, venue, etc. It's understood that it means -- wear a tux if you own one or feel like renting; if not, wear a dark suit.

For my wedding to DH, we printed directly on the envelope in a calligraphy font for the few invitations we sent (small wedding) and the announcements. Multiple people commented on how beautiful the envelopes were (and these are people accustomed to regular calligraphy) so again, I was happy with that decision.

carrieoz_76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rule-of-etiquette-would-consider-breaching?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6f068cc1-5c62-4469-b566-588989dbe583Post:18fd5529-5c9f-47f1-a064-0d6ea3acded3">Re: What rule of etiquette would you consider breaching?</a>:
[QUOTE]Some of my guests (siblings and a friend or two) are going to help me set up and tear down.  Unfortunately, everything needs to be cleaned up and packed away and hauled out before we leave the reception venue.  I had hoped we could come back the next morn, but nope.  So yeah - guests in formalwear will be folding up tablecloths, putting away centerpieces & hauling them to our car, taking down lighting, etc.   The venue doesn't have anyone we can hire to do this for us.  I'm afraid of craigslist hires and who would be willing to come at 11 p.m. for about 45 minutes worth of paid work, anyway?  The whole situation is bad and I feel pretty crappy about it. 
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]<div>I've done this at more than one wedding, and I didn't mind.  No worries.  So long as they know in advance, maybe they can bring a change of clothes to clean up in so they can at least get outta the suits.

</div>

fangsiting

I also refused to write Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.  I did Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith.  I think I may have read that option here?  I don't remember.  I think that's all. 

I considered having people standing during the ceremony.  It will be right after the cocktail hour, so everyone would be standing around anyway and the ceremony was going to be 5 minutes.  But then it got up to 10-15 minutes, so we're going to instruct everyone to sit at the dinner tables before the ceremony. 

An ipod instead of a DJ is NOT a breach of etiquette.  That's absurd.

nfguthrie

I asked a friend if she'd be willing to host my bachelorette, mainly b/c I knew she could be counted on to plan something stripper-free.  She proceeded to go way above and beyond anything I expected with what she planned, it was awesome, and now I feel a little guilty

Calumet

I printed addresses onto the envelopes, I had forgotten you weren't supposed to, but I think it's a dumb rule. They look professional! Also, I and painted decorations onto every invitation, so they still got a personal touch!

I don't know if it counts as a breach of etiquette, but I did it: All of our friends/family who were unmarried / not living with someone, was invited san-guest. But the size of our venue would have kept us from inviting the people most important to us, if everyone had to have a guest we don't even know. Plus all of these people know like everyone at the wedding, they won't be feeling lonely, so I am not going to feel bad.

I also did the adult with their parents thing for one nephew, but that's because he didn't respond to my request for his address. So he missed out on his own invite.

Also, a woman from my church is throwing me a tea for the church ladies, but none of the members of the church are invited to the reception (though they were invited to come to the ceremony). I can't stop them from throwing it though, so I'm not going to worry.

kristinalily

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rule-of-etiquette-would-consider-breaching?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6f068cc1-5c62-4469-b566-588989dbe583Post:7b7175ff-b116-4734-a8ea-9b31b80204cc">Re: What rule of etiquette would you consider breaching?</a>:
[QUOTE]An ipod instead of a DJ is NOT a breach of etiquette.  That's absurd.
Posted by fangsiting[/QUOTE]

I was pretty sure it wasn't. But I've been told it's tacky. And most things that are a breach of etiquette are also called tacky. So that's what I thought of.

JessAndTrav

We had a cash bar.