Divorced Friends

entropicbeauty

I found out last night that one of my friends just got divorced. We sent the couple a STD (addressed to both of them) and now I don't know how to proceed for when we send out invitations!

I talked to FI about it, and he thinks we should JUST invite our friend Aaron, because he was who we were both originally friends with.

Is it completely rude to not include the now ex-wife? I don't dislike her by any means, but It also doesn't seem like it's a good idea to invite recently divorced people to the same function?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

HockeyFan4

we had this happen.....we had been friends with the exH..but had become good friends with the exW.  We decided to just invite both, separately, as they both had been named on the STD. 

Oddly enough, the exW's invite was the only one lost in the mail.  But when I called her to ask about her rsvp, she was so excited.  She thought we decided to just not invite her.  They both came.  We sat them at separate tables where they would both know people.  They both had a blast.  I will say, however, they were on good terms, as they have a child together. 

chelseamb11

I don't think it's out of line for you to just invite the spouse you are close to.  People understand when divorces happen that future plans may be changing a bit.

Elinetrouwt

You won't have to send out invitations for a while, so worry about your wedding later, just be there for your friends now.

Each relationship has it's own dynamics, and the same counts for each divorce. For some couples it might not be weird at all to be at the same function, and if it is, they can sort it out together, unless they are absolutely not on speaking terms anymore. If you really are friends with him only, I guess it would be ok to just invite him, but if you feel like you've developed a meaningful relationship with her as well that you'd like to maintain in the future, by all means invite her as well.

entropicbeauty

I'm worried that the ex-wife might make a bit of a stink because she thinks she's pretty close with us. They both moved away last summer because he is in the Navy - so it's actually pretty likely he won't get time off to come to the wedding regardless, whereas I'm pretty sure she is moving back to the area and WILL be available.

Should I still only invite the ex-husband friend?

(I want to ask these friends if they're still on good terms etc, but I found out about this breakup via a facebook status update and do NOT want to stir up shiiit that is none of my business technically)

HockeyFan4

when it gets closer to invite time, talk with the H  and see what he has to say about it.

Loopyseven

If you want to maintain the friendship with the ex-wife invite her to the wedding.  If you're fine cutting off the friendship with the ex-wife than don't let any stink she might raise force you to invite her to your wedding.

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_divorced-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6f7b064e-24dc-45a1-9965-2e00cbe4e15dPost:df0b2a30-53bd-4c94-9529-997de5b4637f">Re: Divorced Friends</a>:
[QUOTE]when it gets closer to invite time, talk with the H  and see what he has to say about it.
Posted by HockeyFan4[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. I would wait until closer and then talk to him about it since you said yall are close.

entropicbeauty

That does sound the most reasonable, we have a few months before invites go out and I guess things will have settled down enough that it won't be fresh wounds. Thanks guys!