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MOG? planning Rehearsal Dinner

My husband & I offered to host the Rehearsal Dinner and budgeted around 800-1000.$s.  The couple is paying for the wedding themselves and said they would prefer we also pay for the rental of the wedding space and spend less of the rehearsal dinner. The space rental will be approx. 650 - 800.  So I was planning on making the food.  I told my future daughter in law that I was thinking of shepherd's pie or lasagna.  The other day my son said they think they want to have chicken fettuccini Alfredo catered by a friend of theirs.  I didn't want to shoot down their idea so I said I wanted to get an estimate and taste the food.  (Still keeping open my option to make it myself if it was too expensive or quality of the food?)  I am a very good cook myself.  I got a very upsetting email today from my future daughter in law angry that I wanted to taste the food and questioning their choices.    I have always been under the assumption that if we are hosting and paying for it, it would be our choice.  I was just letting here know what I was thinking about for her input but did not expect that she planned to be making all the decisions with my budget.   What are your suggestions.   I really do love and care for her and already consider her a daughter and don't want this the get blown out of proportions.
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