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Wedding Party???

We just began our planning/budget for our wedding. I need to know if the wedding party is responsible for the expense of renting or purchasing their outfits for the wedding. The answer will determine our wedding party size.

Re: Wedding Party???

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    Generally, yes. But if you want them to wear special shoes or have their hair done, you need to pay for those things.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    As far as dresses/suits go, they are responsible, but you need to ask for individual budgets before choosing attire. If you want something that is more than their budget, you should pay the difference.

    If you are expecting specific shoes or jewelry, you should pay for that.
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    ditto PPs.  Also consider the cost of a rehearsal dinner if you're planning to have a rehearsal and size is a concern.
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    Normally they will pay for dresses/suits, unless you offer to pay, but keep in mind other costs. Not only flowers, RD and gifts, but also transportation (are you getting a limo for photos?), hair and makeup if you require it, photographer and the feasibility of photography locations (will you need a second shooter? Will you be able to transport everyone to and from a location you want for photos, or will there be too many?) We had 3 people on each side, and we packed a 10 person limo full, soo...
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    For each person you ask to be in your wedding party you will need to buy them a bouquet or bout, a decent thank you gift (nothing to be used for your wedding or wedding themed), and they and their date/spouse/so need to be invited to the rehearsal dinner.  Make sure your budget can support all of that before you ask them and you will be fine.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-party-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:70edb2a9-a922-4e2b-89e0-8c511fae0f29Post:2acb0f85-6f82-40ea-a977-e9bbb519aeca">Wedding Party???</a>:
    [QUOTE]We just began our planning/budget for our wedding. I need to know if the wedding party is responsible for the expense of renting or purchasing their outfits for the wedding. The answer will determine our wedding party size.
    Posted by honeybearWildcat[/QUOTE]

    Give them a cost estimate upfront for hair, makeup, shoes, dress etc. Or you can do what a lot of brides do and tell them the color of the dress you want and let them pick one in their budget. You can do the same for shoes, say if you want silver shoes, let them pick silver shoes in their budget. If you want something specific that's not in their budget then, yes pay the difference. If makeup/hair will cost 80$ tell them to let you know by a certain date if they're going to do it. If they can't afford it and you really want them to have it done, then you should pay for it. Generally bridesmaids pay for all their stuff but you have to be somewhat flexible and mindful of how much it will cost them. I'm a big advocate of picking the color and letting them pick the dress etc. Then they really have no room to gripe. Also keep in mind they're doing showers, bachelorette parties, and getting you gifts so try to keep their expenses down in any way you can. Good luck!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-party-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:70edb2a9-a922-4e2b-89e0-8c511fae0f29Post:08bfe228-ea92-4d0c-b31c-6e61b9222f83">Re: Wedding Party???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Wedding Party??? : Give them a cost estimate upfront for<strong> hair, makeup, shoes</strong>, dress etc. Or you can do what a lot of brides do and tell them the color of the dress you want and let them pick one in their budget. You can do the same for shoes, say if you want silver shoes, let them pick silver shoes in their budget. If you want something specific that's not in their budget then, yes pay the difference. If makeup/hair will cost 80$ tell them to let you know by a certain date if they're going to do it. If they can't afford it and you really want them to have it done, then you should pay for it. Generally bridesmaids pay for all their stuff but you have to be somewhat flexible and mindful of how much it will cost them. I'm a big advocate of picking the color and letting them pick the dress etc. Then they really have no room to gripe. Also keep in mind they're doing showers, bachelorette parties, and getting you gifts so try to keep their expenses down in any way you can. Good luck!
    Posted by katasiamarie[/QUOTE]

    To the bolded, these are extras that BMs do not have to pay for.  They can do their own hair/make-up and wear shoes they already have.  It is not necessary for them to pay for those.  If you require the hair/make up and shoes, then you should pay for them.  You are correct that if you designate a shoe color, you aren't obligated to pay for them, but the BM could just wear a pair of shoes she already owns in the color you designate.  It is also perfectly fine to tell your BMs that you are getting your hair and make up done at x salon. The cost is y, let me know if you want me to make an appointment for you.
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    each person is different, do what you feel comfortable doing and can afford. As for me I am paying for their dresses, 2 of my bm's are flying in from florida so I am paying for their tickets. I don't want them to feel excluded from getting their hair done so I asked everyone if they could afford $40 ($25+$15 tip) to get their hair done, and I'd pay for the difference, all said yes. I told them to pick whatever shoes but I'd like them to be silver. All I am telling them for jewelry is whatever is in your budget ! I put this into my budget and know its more than you are traditionally supposed to do but I personally don't want anyone to freak out about any costs and still be included in everything.

    I am still getting them a gift. I don't look at a dress or getting your hair done as a "gift" even though the girls in my WP would be more than happy with that.
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    edited February 2013
    Yes, that's what I meant. But giving them the cost estimate on what they're looking at if they purchase all of these things can help them make a decision on if they want to buy certain shoes, get hair done, etc. I told mine how much hair/makeup cost and to let me know if they were going to do it. You can't expect anyone to say oh yes I'll pay to get my hair done without them knowing the price.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-party-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:70edb2a9-a922-4e2b-89e0-8c511fae0f29Post:e56f78dc-f0d6-4cbf-a576-3046a0fa8e0b">Re: Wedding Party???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Party??? : To the bolded, these are extras that BMs do not have to pay for.  They can do their own hair/make-up and wear shoes they already have.  It is not necessary for them to pay for those.  If you require the hair/make up and shoes, then you should pay for them.  You are correct that if you designate a shoe color, you aren't obligated to pay for them, but the BM could just wear a pair of shoes she already owns in the color you designate.  It is also perfectly fine to tell your BMs that you are getting your hair and make up done at x salon. The cost is y, let me know if you want me to make an appointment for you.
    Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]
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