Rude or over senstive?

englishemily

Are thank you notes for guests the done thing? Am I being over sensitive by expecting a thank you note (or at least a text or a phone call)? Cash gift was given as requested...

HockeyFan4

eeks...no one should ever request a gift, not even one of cash.

And yes they should send a thank you note....but sadly, someone who is requesting a cash gift probably doesn't have a clue.

midgetthemighty

How long ago was this wedding? Considering they asked for cash (gross), I'm not holding out much hope that they'll be writing thank you cards but they could still be in the works.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-or-over-senstive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71648a25-4d16-4c9c-a8ab-1f61c99f3963Post:dc0b2f14-b32a-46f7-b62b-c4abf37120a1">Rude or over senstive?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are thank you notes for guests the done thing? Am I being over sensitive by expecting a thank you note (or at least a text or a phone call)? Cash gift was given as requested...
Posted by englishemily[/QUOTE]


When was the wedding?

englishemily

Over a month ago  :S Agree they may be in the works. Personally I am a little pissed there was no "thanks for coming" on the day (wtf) and no verbal thanks since. Oh well I feel less overly-sensitive now : ) I guess its pretty small in grand scheme of things.

angelsong21

I would be upset if I didn't receive a thank-you card for a cash gift.  It doesn't sound like the couple knows much about etiquette and there's probably not a great chance that you'll get a thank-you card; however, I know it took me 6 weeks to get our thank-you cards out by the time they were printed and I had time to handwrite them all.  We took a 2-day minimoon and then went right back into working overtime, and it just didn't work out well.  I think 2 months is the maximum time, so there's still a chance you may get a card, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

zitiqueen

Somewhere it's written that the couple has a year to send out TY notes. Some brides take that to heart. I side-eye the hell out of them. My niece is one of them. She got married in February and still hasn't sent out her TYs. We gave her a gift card and I'm always tempted to tell her how sorry I am that her card birdcage thing got stolen from her reception just to hear what she says.

Miss_2010

Then again the wedding was only a month ago.  I've gotten wedding thank you's upwards of 3 months after the wedding.  So that's no big deal

rsaleh84

Wow...I couldn't imagine asking anyone for anything, let alone a gift!  I wouldn't worry about it, but it's obviously an indicator of the type of people they are.  Live and Learn.

Callmefia

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-or-over-senstive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71648a25-4d16-4c9c-a8ab-1f61c99f3963Post:95017388-493d-4ced-9716-1a81eab856c5">Re: Rude or over senstive?</a>:
[QUOTE]Somewhere it's written that the couple has a year to send out TY notes. Some brides take that to heart. I side-eye the hell out of them. My niece is one of them. She got married in February and still hasn't sent out her TYs. We gave her a gift card and I'm always tempted to tell her how sorry I am that her card birdcage thing got stolen from her reception just to hear what she says.
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

No! Its a year to send a gift after a wedding. Thank you's are supposed to be as soon as possible, within 2 or 3 months of the wedding at the latest.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-or-over-senstive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71648a25-4d16-4c9c-a8ab-1f61c99f3963Post:30906f09-8c51-430b-bb1f-e4423f28b555">Re: Rude or over senstive?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rude or over senstive? : No! Its a year to send a gift after a wedding. Thank you's are supposed to be as soon as possible, within 2 or 3 months of the wedding at the latest.
Posted by Callmefia[/QUOTE]
It probably is written somewhere, but it's not supposed to be. I mean, who ever said the couple has a year to send out thank you cards is wrong, but I have a feeling someone did say it because when I came here I got confused, like I had heard it somewhere. Not that it's right. Like cash registries. Someone said it's okay... but it's not okay. Does that make sense?

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-or-over-senstive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71648a25-4d16-4c9c-a8ab-1f61c99f3963Post:caf3ed81-4c89-4300-b705-f0145de73cdc">Re: Rude or over senstive?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd give them the benefit of the doubt for now. My wedding was about 6 weeks ago and I started writing my thank you notes within about 2-3 weeks. Then my little brother died and the next time I sat down to write the thank you notes I saw his on top waiting for my husband to sign it. I haven't been able to get back to them since then. I know it's something I have to do, but for now I can't make myself do them. I guess my point is that there may be some extenuating circumstances or she may be just plain rude. Either way I wouldn't let it upset you too much. There are certainly worse things than not receiving a thank you card.
Posted by MeganLindsay5685[/QUOTE]

I'm so sorry for your loss; that's just unimaginable.

OP - I'd wait another month or two before you start to get irritated.  We mailed our TYs on our one month anniversary and we put some serious effort into getting them all done by then.  1.5 weeks for the honeymoon; another couple days before the photo thank yous I ordered arrived and that left 2 weeks for H and I to bust our butts every night writting some 200 thank you notes.  So I wouldn't judge someone for not having them out by the one month mark.  However, given the other tacky aspects of this I wouldn't hold my breath either..

Callmefia

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-or-over-senstive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71648a25-4d16-4c9c-a8ab-1f61c99f3963Post:3c41ae38-393d-454b-a797-1eecf0c9b7c1">Re: Rude or over senstive?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rude or over senstive? : It probably is written somewhere, but it's not supposed to be. I mean, who ever said the couple has a year to send out thank you cards is wrong, but I have a feeling someone did say it because when I came here I got confused, like I had heard it somewhere. Not that it's right. Like cash registries. Someone said it's okay... but it's not okay. Does that make sense?
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

Yeah I get that, but I didn't want the OP or any other people to get bad/wrong advice on the year thing. I had to clear that one up.

HeathenSwan

If the wedding was a month ago, they may still be working on them. Give it time. They could have been out of town, something could have happened, or they could have been waiting for their personalized cards to come in. But you're all probably right, she's probably just a tacky ho.

And requests for cash are no more "gross" than a registry. How is asking for cash more "tacky" than registering for over-priced plates high end ice cream makers that you will use once? But I'm sure all of you classy lassies who are just horrified about people "asking" for cash don't have registries at all. 

lauraanne9

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-or-over-senstive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71648a25-4d16-4c9c-a8ab-1f61c99f3963Post:dc0b2f14-b32a-46f7-b62b-c4abf37120a1">Rude or over senstive?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are thank you notes for guests the done thing? Am I being over sensitive by expecting a thank you note (or at least a text or a phone call)? <strong>Cash gift was given as requested...</strong>
Posted by englishemily[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>No, you are not being overly sensitive.  However, as Thank You Cards are the proper thing to do and your post is mentioning a bride (or groom) who requested cash, the "proper" ship sailed without this wedding anywhere near it.</div>

Ali092011

Oh, Megan, I'm so sorry. *hugs*

A close friend stopped by work the other day to get our new address, and when I gave it to him, he said, "Thanks, we're in the process of writing thank you notes." His wedding was over a year ago. I sent him and his wife an anniversary card and still haven't gotten a thank you. And I thought I was rude by not getting his gift to him until two weeks after his wedding!

Luckily, I'm close enough with him to know his family history and that he had NO guidance whatsoever growing up (basically raised in a crazy religious cult and homeschooled until high school). So of course I don't hold it against him. But his other guests probably will.