Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invites 10 weeks before

I sent save the dates but I still want to send invites 10 weeks before the ceremony. I want to have the RSVP a month before the event so that I can decide what extras I can afford at our hall based on our final headcount. Is that too early?

Re: Invites 10 weeks before

  • Yes, it is too early. Invites are typically sent out 6-8 wks before the wedding. When you send them out that early, you run the risk of people losing or misplacing them and then not returning the rsvp cards. Then you will have more people to call up and track down.

    You and your FI should already have a budget in place, so I am not sure what you are trying to do with the extras you mentioned.
  • We can afford 110 at the standard package at the hall. We invited 110. If we get 100 yeses then I will be able to add so extras like extra appetizers nothing big but I wanted my headcount early. We send save the dates. 
  • I get what you're trying to do, but shouldn't the normal invite time be plenty to get an accurate head count and finalize everything? Don't send out your invites any earlier than eight weeks. People will misplace them and it will be so much more work for you.
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  • I guess since I sent save the dates I dont really need to rush the invitations. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invites-10-weeks-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:719f052e-3fa6-4938-bc22-20dda4f32a42Post:6729178d-4909-4a66-84bf-36b040034cab">Re: Invites 10 weeks before</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess since I sent save the dates I dont really need to rush the invitations. 
    Posted by twohollydays[/QUOTE]

    Exactly. It will only make you more frustrated trying to get ahold of a lot of people if you send them too early and they lose the invites. They have the STD's and most of them probably know whether or not they will be able to make it. So hopefully they will respond in a timely manner.
  • FWIW, we had a low yes rate and were able to bump up our package at the last minute, like you're describing.  But we were able to do this with the standard 3 week RSVP date, no problem.

    Sending invites at the normal time isn't going to prevent you from doing this.
  • I don't think the extra two weeks will make a difference in terms of guests losing the invitations or not RSVP'ing.  If you can use that two weeks to plan better then do it.  If people don't RSVP you will just have to call them.
  • Im not hoping for a low yes rate. We didnt overinvite on purpose. We did only what we can AFFORD. Im counting on 100% yes replies and maybe an extra plus one or two so I let room in the budget at the standard rate. 
  • You can also do some planning ahead.  Find out what extras are available and at how much, then figure on that.  If you get 100 yeses, then you can add a and b.  If you get 90 yeses, then you can add a, b, c, and maybe d.  Prioritize your favorite extras and decide now what you want to go for first if you can afford it.  Then when you have your final count, you already know what to tell the hall to do.
  • We had a bimodal RSVP response rate.  We got a third of our RSVPs in the first week after we sent them and a third right before the RSVP due date (or a day or two after).  Everything else just trickled in.  With any luck, you'll get a lot of early responses, enough that you'll be able to figure out if you can afford the extra appetizers in time.  However, sending the invitations out really early isn't going to change the RSVP habits of your guests.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invites-10-weeks-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:719f052e-3fa6-4938-bc22-20dda4f32a42Post:40fdcc12-e1e9-4d14-a68f-40ea2cce0d93">Re: Invites 10 weeks before</a>:
    [QUOTE]FWIW, we had a low yes rate and were able to bump up our package at the last minute, like you're describing.  But we were able to do this with the standard 3 week RSVP date, no problem. Sending invites at the normal time isn't going to prevent you from doing this.
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]


    This. However, I will admit I had a ton of OOT guests and I sent my invitations at 9 weeks. People started asking for them, too, before then.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invites-10-weeks-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:719f052e-3fa6-4938-bc22-20dda4f32a42Post:53f98222-bb11-4d8c-a488-fdc0611df354">Re: Invites 10 weeks before</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can also do some planning ahead.  Find out what extras are available and at how much, then figure on that.  If you get 100 yeses, then you can add a and b.  If you get 90 yeses, then you can add a, b, c, and maybe d.  Prioritize your favorite extras and decide now what you want to go for first if you can afford it.  Then when you have your final count, you already know what to tell the hall to do.
    Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

    I like this suggestion. Just do some thinking on what you'd like to have with x mount of money left if you only have 100 people or 90 people, and so on.
    image
  • LOL.. well we already sent our invites out. We put them together ourselves and since they were done, I wanted them out of my hair!! LOL  We have an RSVP date of May 15th, and we're getting married June 24th. We are doing our final walk through on June 9th, so I figure we will have time between May 15th and June 9th to call those who haven't RSVP'd and get a final count before our final walk through.
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  • My wedding is 7/2/11, I sent out my invites yesterday.
    For more than one reason.

    I will not have any time in june to track ppl down, due to traveling.
    We also have over half of the guest list traveling 13 plus hours.
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  • 6-8 weeks is the standard.

    10 weeks is not too terrible, especially if you have a lot of OOT guests.

    RSVP should only be 2-3 weeks out from the event.    You should be able to get upgrades that far out if needed.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invites-10-weeks-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:719f052e-3fa6-4938-bc22-20dda4f32a42Post:60db9d6e-be9a-4caa-bc10-06576029334d">Re: Invites 10 weeks before</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding is 7/2/11, I sent out my invites yesterday. For more than one reason. I will not have any time in june to track ppl down, due to traveling. We also have over half of the guest list traveling 13 plus hours.
    Posted by katheriner89[/QUOTE]

    <div>What about people like me who can't reply until June for a July wedding?</div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • We've sent out our international invitations, but national ones aren't going out for another few weeks.  Our venue requires headcount a month before the event.  Gah.  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invites-10-weeks-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:719f052e-3fa6-4938-bc22-20dda4f32a42Post:60db9d6e-be9a-4caa-bc10-06576029334d">Re: Invites 10 weeks before</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding is 7/2/11, I sent out my invites yesterday. For more than one reason. I will not have any time in june to track ppl down, due to traveling. We also have over half of the guest list traveling 13 plus hours.
    Posted by katheriner89[/QUOTE]
    So you think because you sent the invites out so early you wont have to call anyone? You realize that's about as opposite as it gets, right? People are going to forget to RSVP, or wont even know until June if they can go or not.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invites-10-weeks-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:719f052e-3fa6-4938-bc22-20dda4f32a42Post:9cce5bd1-3166-479c-90f5-d67a87c8874b">Re: Invites 10 weeks before</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invites 10 weeks before : So you think because you sent the invites out so early you wont have to call anyone? You realize that's about as opposite as it gets, right? People are going to forget to RSVP, or wont even know until June if they can go or not.
    Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

    No, I didn't say I wasn't going to have to call anyone.

    Actually, I like having the first two weeks in June to do this. Instead of having the RSVP date be in June, then have to worry about time in the later part of June to call everyone. Easier for me & most of my guests, since they have been asking about invitations anyway.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invites-10-weeks-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:719f052e-3fa6-4938-bc22-20dda4f32a42Post:60db9d6e-be9a-4caa-bc10-06576029334d">Re: Invites 10 weeks before</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding is 7/2/11, I sent out my invites yesterday. For more than one reason. I will not have any time in june to track ppl down, due to traveling. We also have <strong>over half of the guest list traveling 13 plus hours.</strong>
    Posted by katheriner89[/QUOTE]
    What does this have to do with sending out invites? If they need to make flight arrangements, they only need the wedding date. We have guests flying from across the country (and FI and I have attended multiple west coast weddings) with the standard time frame. I'd be concerned about people losing them and having more to track down. 
    image
  • we sent ours out 2 weeks ago (3.5 months ahead of a July 2 wedding) for a few reasons:

    The majority of our guests have to travel 4 + hours by plane
    We have several international guests
    I was told by a few guests that they would not book flights etc. until they were officially invited (we sent STDs at Xmas)

    So far I've received 40% of the RSVP cards back, as well as emails from 2 couples who won't be able to determine if they can come until right before the wedding date due to medical reasons but would love to join us.  And a few who have called (or I've called them about other things and the wedding came up) who have said they are coming but haven't responded because they need to figure out if they are bringing a date



    I
  • I think 3.5 months out is way too early.

    I'm more okay with it as long as you RSVP is still only a few weeks out.   If your RSVP is more than 3 weeks before the event I have a problem with it.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited April 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invites-10-weeks-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:719f052e-3fa6-4938-bc22-20dda4f32a42Post:4f402ad3-0108-49be-a835-065d5ad5a7bc">Re: Invites 10 weeks before</a>:
    [QUOTE]we sent ours out 2 weeks ago (3.5 months ahead of a July 2 wedding) for a few reasons: The majority of our guests have to travel 4 + hours by plane We have several international guests I was told by a few guests that they would not book flights etc. until they were officially invited (we sent STDs at Xmas) So far<strong> I've received 40% of the RSVP cards back, </strong>
    Posted by princess0711[/QUOTE]

    <div>I bet half of the other 60% lose their invites or forget about them and you have to call them.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invites-10-weeks-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:719f052e-3fa6-4938-bc22-20dda4f32a42Post:8cc8345a-cf24-4719-a100-d63ae37ac1ec">Re: Invites 10 weeks before</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invites 10 weeks before : I bet half of the other 60% lose their invites or forget about them and you have to call them.
    Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

    I'm now waiting for three ...
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