Shower Madness! PLEASE HELP!

MaryEllenTucker

Ok, Here's the deal, I know that who ever you invite to your bridal showers you must invite to your wedding with the exception of a work shower. 

Here's my problem. Our guest list is 100 people. I have 3 grandmothers, 1 grandmother-in-law-to-be, 1 mother-in-law-to-be, and my aunt all of whom want to throw a shower for me. I live in Tennessee therefore my grandmothers know EVERYONE and their cousin and so does his and I can guarantee that the guest count for all 5 showers will be well over 100 guests and many of the women that are going to be there I most likely wont know, have only met once, or havent seen in YEARS. OH and did I mention that my father and brother want to throw a "Power Shower" for my fiance?

We cant afford to go over 100, WHAT DO I DO PLEASE HELP ME!?!?!?!?!

andy71781

What the H is a Power Shower?

MaryEllenTucker

Its a shower for men. They bring the groom power tools (hence the power shower) or garden tools, or grilling tools... anything that can be called a tool, they bring it. 

Calumet

You can decline showers. 

I can't imagine having more than 2. Can't some of these people pool their resources?

katiewhompus

Just tell them that while you love the offer, you would rather have an intimate shower with your closest friends and relatives only. Let them know that you are only comfortable inviting guests to the showers who will be at the wedding and give them a list of invitees.

You don't have to have a shower just because someone offers. I'm interested in what a Power Shower is too. I'm picturing a bunch of guys sitting around playing with power tools...

nda_roxybabe

5 showers? Power shower?
Color me confused.

MaryEllenTucker

Each grandmother wants to throw a shower, and they want to do their own shower because "its our turn to do it and its what we do and I want it my way", my aunt wants to throw one for just me, one where I pick and choose who is going to be there instead of my grandmothers picking and choosing and adding off of my list. Power Shower is a male shower where they bring my fiance tools and such for us to get started i.e. hammer, screw driver, shovels, ect.

So.... 3 grandmothers each want to throw a shower, His mom and Grandmother, My aunts going in together to throw me one, and then Work, and then his Power Shower thing... so 6 showers..... and the grandmothers will not back down. its the south, and their women.... 

Calumet

Tell your grandmothers you appreciate the offer, thank you so much, but your aunt is already throwing you a shower. You feel it would be incredibly inappropriate for people to have to go to multiple showers or for people to be invited to the shower who aren't invited to the wedding. "I know you guys love me and will not do anything that would put me in a bad position as far as etiquette goes. Thank you for respecting my wishes." If they get pushy, you get pushy. You REALLY appreciate it, but you will not be attending any shower that they throw. Put your foot down.

Then if ONE person on FI's side wants to throw a shower for his side of the family, I think that would be fine.  MIL & GIL will have to duke it out.

katiewhompus

Inform them that if they throw the showers you will not be able to attend.

Either put your foot down, or you will have to look at your guest situation.

I actually like the idea of a power shower for the guy. He definitely could have used some tools when we started out and why should the bride get all the presents!

MaryEllenTucker

I'm not opposed to putting on my big girl panties. I just didnt know if there was a way around potentially getting into peoples faces. 

Thank you so much for you help

andy71781

6 showers seems excessive to me.  Do these women (like his mom and GM) not get along?

I kinda had a Power Shower - but it was during my bach party and involved batteries instead of tools.

MaryEllenTucker

His mother and grandmother do get a long but his grandmother would want the church to throw me a shower, I dont go to his church, and then her and his mother would throw one for us just by themselves. 

My grandmothers do to an extent. Its my dads mother, my moms mother, and my moms step-mom... so theres bit of hostility there. And its just a southern thing, pride-ful, who can throw the best shower kinda thing. 

I'm the oldest grandchild on all 3 sides of my family, the first getting married. So yeah.... 

golden1215

Can they throw you more of a social luncheon type thing?  So they can have a fun party for them and all their church lady friends and talk about how pretty you are etc etc but without the gifts?

quotequeen

6 showers is completely ridiculous.  You need to decline these.