My uncle passed away 10 years ago around this time and my Aunt A. decided to hold a memorial gathering this weekend (the 23rd-24th) for family and friends to come celebrate his life. She sent out a mass text message letting everyone know the date and sent an invitation through email this week. When I got the text message, FI and I had already RSVPed yes to a wedding in NW Austin on the 23rd and a brunch the next day (the memorial thing is in SE Houston).
I talked to FI once we go the email invite and it confirmed everything (including the time) and we decided that we weren't going to go because of the timing of everything, and he didn't want to make the drive. It's only 4 hours, which isn't much (at least not to me), but we would have had to turn around and come right back after only being there a couple of hours because FI has work the next morning.
Fast forward to today. My mom calls me this morning and "pleads her case" for me to come. Apparently my aunt thinks I hadn't even read the email (which I did) and didn't RSVP (I thought I did...I did today with a maybe). She told me it was important to my dad that I come because my uncle was his brother (I already talked to him about it and he understands the schedule conflict). And my other aunt (Aunt C) is throwing a shower for me and wants Aunt A to be a hostess (hasn't asked her yet). My mom thinks that if I don't come, Aunt A will refuse to be a hostess at my shower. She also wants me to come for the "PR aspect" of it (her words, not mine) at least to make an appearance since I am getting married this summer to keep "in everyone's good graces." The whole time she was telling me she wasn't trying to guilt me in to coming...yes mom you are trying to do just that (at least in my mind).
If I do decide to go, I am going alone because I don't want to drive for four hours just to turn around and come back two hours later. FI never knew my uncle, so this would just be awkward for him. My mom is gonna clean out one of the spare bedrooms for me to stay in. If I decide not to come, she wants me to write a note of regret to my aunt (which I think is fair). I am on the fence because I honestly don't know what things are gonna be like that morning of the 24th and what the schedule is for the brunch and everything. And I would have to drive down to SA first to drop FI off and then drive to Houston.
CN: Aunt is holding memorial gathering for uncle on the 24th in SE Houston. FI and I already committed to a wedding on the 23rd and a brunch the 24th in NW Austin. Previously decided we can't go to the thing in Houston because of the drive and the timing. Mom now wants me to go for the "PR Aspect" because she is afraid that my aunt will decline being a host for my shower (which another aunt is throwing) if I don't come. I'm undecided at the moment on whether or not I'm going.