Advice on giving a gift

rsanna

All right, so a friend of ours is getting married December 22nd.  We know this because we are acquantiances with his FI who posts about every few weeks about the wedding (countdown, asking someone to do her hair, etc.)  I know there is still time to receive an invitation, but it is kind of getting close, so I have a feeling we aren't invited.  (This is a completely different can of worms, because FI asked this guy to be his BM and so FI is kind of hurt about it.)

However, regardless of whether we are invited or not.  I want to get them a gift, because we have been friends with this guy for a few years.  And I know FI is really close with him, and I don't know.  It would be a nice thing to do. 

I have tried looking online to see if they are registered anywhere, but I can't find anything.  But I don't want to get them just like a gift card to some place they may not get any use out of it. Like maybe they are saving for something, but something from X would really help them out, even if it isn't cold, hard cash. I'm just concerned that asking him about what they would like could potentially put him in a really awkward position, since we are (possibly) not invited. 

Any advice on how to go about this? Am I making a bigger deal out of this than I should?

itzMS

I personally would wait until about 2 weeks before the wedding. It may seem like you're "fishing" for an invitation since their wedding is about 7 weeks away.

"Hi, FI's Friend, where are you registered?" Simple and quick.

rsanna

That's what I'm worried about is it looking like we are fishing for an invitation.  My concern is with the holidays we won't be seeing the friend about 2 weeks before the wedding which is also right around finals weeks so I know everyone is going to be busy.

Right now I think we will wait 1-2 more weeks and use Liatris's wording.

ETA: For some reason the post was centered.

itzMS

Does your FI not have this friend's phone number? You don't have to see him in person to give him a gift...it should be sent to his home.

rsanna

I didnt realize that I said we would be giving the gift in person. I am sorry that I came across that. But it did make me consider where we would send it, since they are moving in together this January and are currently living with their parents. Anyway, of course we have his number. But I dont think calling and asking specifically about a gift is better than asking while we are hanging out with him. That feeks like it would be more pressure.

nlindsay17

Why don't you just check the wedding registries at the stores most commonly used? You know his name and the wedding date so it shouldn't be too hard.

rsanna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-on-giving-a-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:725c9248-f631-4592-85c2-95fc52bf3a92Post:264954f4-4fd0-4f61-b788-a12b23d928a8">Re: Advice on giving a gift</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't you just check the wedding registries at the stores most commonly used? You know his name and the wedding date so it shouldn't be too hard.
Posted by nlindsay17[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>I already did.  I said that in my original post. </div>