Wedding Etiquette Forum

She just won't RSVP!

We have invited one family, and I can't get an answer out of the mom as to whether they're coming or not.  My wedding is in one week, and I've asked her twice for an answer already.  At first she told me she'd let me know, which was fine when it was about a month out, so I let it go, even though it was past the RSVP date.  The second time, she told me she had to check with her kids' dad, and she'd let me know after her son got his baseball schedule.  Well, my son, who plays in the same league, got his schedule last Tuesday.  I still haven't heard from her, and really don't feel like contacting her a third time to ask if she's coming.

At this point, I'm apt to just leave them off the list.  Fortunately, I hadn't included them in my final count, and another friend of mine witha family just found out she's having surgery on Friday, so they had to cancel at the last minute, so there's room for this non-responding family.

But this is really rude, IMO. I mean, a party of 4 is significant when you only have 50 people at your wedding.  (Not to mention the $300 + she's leaving me in limbo!)  Plus, she's messing with my seating chart!

Re: She just won't RSVP!

  • That's really annoying.  At this point you should tell her that you need to give a final headcount and are going to have to consider her family a no if she can't give a firm response.
  • I would assume she isn't coming so I wouldn't put her in the final headcount.  It's rude and passive aggressive to not respond like that especially when you've been asking multiple times.
    Updated 1/17/11 imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • I would call her and tell her that you have to give your vendors a final firm number.  If she can't tell you for sure if they are coming or not that day, you will have to count her as a no and will miss her at the wedding.  You teach people how to treat you.  Let them jerk you around and they will do just that. 

    image

    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
  • I agree with East.  Call one more time and let her know you have to submit your final numbers and if she isn't sure then  put her down as a no.
  • I've noticed that the "yesses" you get after you've had to track them down and nag them about their RSVP are not reliable answers, unless it's a "no".  If they haven't confirmed, or given you a very good reason they don't know yet, then they probably aren't coming anyway.

  • yep, mark her as no.
    Les enfants disent que les gens sont suspendus pour parler la v?rit?. Je n'ai pas peur, je suis n? pour le faire. Joan d'Arc R.I.P. Sophia please visit www.truthforsophia.com
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