rehearsal dinner

easter4410

My

mica178

Why does it matter?  It's still a gift to you because there'd be no need to host a rehearsal dinner if you two weren't getting married.  Traditionally, the groom's family hosts the RD, but nowadays, many couples host it themselves.

twohollydays

Just take it. They are trying to be nice and it take the stress off your soon to be MIL. 

Meg1036

I think worrying about who it is a gift for is petty.  They are offering to throw you a lovely rehearsal dinner.  I think it looks pretty ungracious to decline because you expect FMIL to throw the party.

If you would *rather* have a BBQ than the kind of dinner they are suggesting, you need to talk to your FI and see if he is willing to discuss declining this offer.  They might not take it well, and your FI will have the best insight into whether or not it is even possible to decline this offer.

It's helpful to remember, as well, that no one has to get you a gift for your wedding.  Anything anyone gives you should be met with enthusiastic appreciation.

sklink0486

Not sure why it would matter who it's a gift to. In the end, it's your rehearsal dinner so it would still be a gift to you. 

lyndausvi

Why does it matter?

ootmother2

I think it's a lovely gift but are you afraid your FILS will be offended?

There's no reason for that really

Denise91980

Guess it is a good thing I read it before the DD....

Anyway, I think it is a nice gesture that they offered and you should see it as a gift to you. If it is not something you are interested in then you should respectfully decline. Also, if you think your FMIL may feel uncomfortable I would politely decline but thank her anyway. I think it is rude to look at it as being a gift to FMIL, as a DD is rude because you don't like the responses. 

easter4410

Thanks, I would not decline the offer, just wondering what people thought..but you're right, it's a gracious offer either way.

Melanie2012

Dare I ask whether the purpose of trying to determine the recipient of the gift is so you can determine whether the aunt and uncle still "owe" you a wedding gift?

thesequel

If the aunt & uncle host.....the B&G may not get an actual gift from them is what I am getting from the post. 

easter4410

Right, the rehearsal dinner will be our wedding gift.

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-39?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:729e892b-a33e-4f0b-8714-2790c416f64bPost:7cd7abee-4592-48d3-ae5d-da8261a63b6f">Re: rehearsal dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]Right, the rehearsal dinner will be our wedding gift.
Posted by easter4410[/QUOTE]

And?  Are you thinking that you'll miss out on a better gift from them?