Wedding Etiquette Forum

Verbal Invites All Around

While at the florist with my FMIL the other day, she verbally invited the florist and her husband.  Mind you, this was the first time I had ever met this woman.  I don't believe this is the first time that she has verbally invited someone, but as FI and I are paying for about 45% of the wedding, my mother and grandmother are paying for 50% and my FILs are paying for 5%, I believe we get the final say in who is invited. 

That being said, the problem is that this person will be around on the wedding day and will know the times and locations of everything, despite the fact that she will not be getting an invitation.  [I have cut numerous friends and extended family from my side to meet our budget,] I do not feel as though it is fair to have to invite these 2 people, however petty that may seem.  I know that people will say, have your FI deal with HIS mom, but he has already said that he is not dealing with this one.  So, should I have extra places reserved for them at tables or just hope they don't show because I didn't send an invitation... 

Re: Verbal Invites All Around

  • Tell FI to rein his parents in, the florists have no reason to be there unless you know them and adore them. If your FI can't rein them in then HE can pay for the extra people.
    Nichole Tampa, FL BabyFetus Ticker
  • Your major problem is your FI.  If he is not willing to stand up to his mother and take your side, that's not a good sign.

    Talk to your caterer.  Ours had a clause in the contract that said they could prepare up to five extra place settings in case of "unplanned RSVPs" (i.e. guests bringing extra guests, or RSVP no's that turned into yes's the day of the wedding).  In that case, you wouldn't even need to worry about it.  But I doubt that she and her husband will show up to the wedding other than to drop off the flowers and set up.  I'm assuming she is a professional, and she does many, many weddings, and she's probably not interested in staying at an event where she knows nobody except her clients.
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