Hi guys,
Sorry I was really not sure which forum to post this in and seeing as all my posts have been in this one I figured I'd be consistent. I really need some advice and people to just tell me to chill out. It's really just a rant.
Fi and FMIL are super close. And by super close I mean he tells his mom EVERYTHING. If anything exciting has happened then she is the first to know (we are currently living in different cities so don't see each other much). Additionally, he tells her everything about our relationship. Personal things I tell him, such as the strained relationship between my parents that bothers me, he tells his mother. I've asked him a couple times to maybe try and keep things a bit more to himself but he doesn't seem to be able to.
Fi had a tough childhood and his relationship with her is so important because she's been instrumental in helping him work through a lot of what happened. However I feel a bit shunted aside. I would never ever ever ever ask him to change his relationship with his mother. I just want to feel like some things between us are meant to be kept private. Whenever I try to say this he gets super defensive and frustrated at me so I don't know what to say/how to say it anymore. I just don't feel like she needs to know all the ins and outs of my personal life. It's fine if he feels like he wants to discuss his problems with her but he doesn't seem to understand that he doesn't need to discuss mine too. It's just so frustrating. Any advice out there would be greatly appreciated!! (I should probably mention that FMIL and I have a great relationship, she's lovely but what FI doesn't understand is that doesn't mean I want her to know me like he knows me, I guess I kinda feel like the relationship is us three. And it's not FMIL's fault, she would feel terrible if she knew I felt the way I do)