Children and Babies at the Reception

QuitaAngel

Hi, ladies!

My touble right now is this. My fiance and I adore kids.  In fact, we'd love to have all the children in our families (about 12 years and under) be a part of the wedding ceremony by being the first to walk down the aisle (and scatter some petals).

But as we try to whittle down the guest list, we're asking if it's ok that the children then not be invited to the reception? We'd plan on hiring nannies to watch the children for the parents in a hotel suite filled with snacks and games and fun.

Thoughts? Has anyone done anything like this before?

THANK YOU!

Monica

britne28

I think that would upset a lot of parents.  If you are worried about cost, ask the venue or caterer if they have kids prices.  Our venue does.  It is less than half the adult food price.

ExpatPumpkin

If you're going to have a ton of kids at the reception, having a kids room with sitters and entertainment (movies, coloring, etc.) would work.

ac_in_dc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73843fd7-86cd-413e-a49d-d715218dfda1Post:b594dde2-191e-445e-971e-f044e88a2749">Re: Children and Babies at the Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're going to have a ton of kids at the reception, having a kids room with sitters and entertainment (movies, coloring, etc.) would work.
Posted by ExpatPumpkin[/QUOTE]

This is true, but you can't *require* kids to stay in the room. We had a bunch of kids at the reception and the caterer didn't charge us for babies and we paid about half the cost of a regular meal for the kids meals, plus the drink fees were lower.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73843fd7-86cd-413e-a49d-d715218dfda1Post:2533e78b-a687-40d3-9d62-90d31ad485eb">Children and Babies at the Reception</a>:
[QUOTE] We'd plan on hiring nannies to watch the children for the parents in a hotel suite filled with snacks and games and fun.
Posted by QuitaAngel[/QUOTE]

If the parents of all of the kids are okay with that, then I think it would work, but it would really be up to the parents.  If they aren't comfortable leaving their kids with strangers, even professional ones, you are going to have to come up with something else or just not invite kids at all, not even to the ceremony.

JessAndTrav

I was once the nanny at a wedding. It sucked. The parents left no instructions, so basically, for 4-5 hours, we had 15 children screaming constantly. We weren't provided with anything other than a tv/vcr and a copy of Brother Bear on video. There's only so many times they'll watch that and stay excited.

I would talk to your venue about kid's pricing. And for the really little ones, they can share off of their parent's plate. They don't eat that much.

Also, we had about 5-6 kids at our wedding. It was so amusing to watch them get out on the dance floor. As long as they're well behaved, I think that you should do everything you can do to have them there.

Have you considered a children's corner? Goodie bags? Both of these things are good ways to go. We did bags for the kids and the parents thanked us profusely. PIB (planning).

AlexiaANDRobert

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73843fd7-86cd-413e-a49d-d715218dfda1Post:82136b47-710c-4f68-bb57-30a4494602f5">Re: Children and Babies at the Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Children and Babies at the Reception : If the parents of all of the kids are okay with that, then I think it would work, but it would really be up to the parents.  If they aren't comfortable leaving their kids with strangers, even professional ones, you are going to have to come up with something else or just not invite kids at all, not even to the ceremony.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

If you have THAT many, it might be better to not invite the children at all.  FWIW, this should exclude nursing babies.

sucrets4

You can't pick and choose.  You can offer a nanny at the reception, but can't force them to use it if you decide that you NEED them there for the ceremony.

All or nothing is the only way that it wouldn't wind up being awful or unfair.

tidetravel

It's also not fair to say, "hey parents, can we use your kids in our ceremony because we think it'd be cute, but they can't come to dinnner."

You can ask about a kids table, but I can see that being a disaster if the kids had to be there away from the parents.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If you really can't accomodate them, you'll just have to not invite them. I don't think there's a polite way to say, "bring your kids to the ceremony, then drop them at home with a sitter so we don't have them taking up space."

Kristin789

What you are suggesting is done all the time in my area.

Here in the South, parents drop off their kids on the way in to the ceremony - there is a room, like a Sunday School classroom, set up with nannies/babysitters to provide care during the ceremony.  The ceremony is considered to be something for adults who are pledging support to the bride and groom as they enter marriage through this important ceremony.  There's no "children's sermon" or anything else for kids in the marriage ceremonies I've been to here.

Then parents pick up the kids on the way out of the ceremony venue, and they drive to the reception venue, and then they drop off their kids again as they go in.  The kids are entertained by the variety of age-appropriate activities with several nannies/babysitters, and the kids eat the 1/2-priced kids meals of chicken fingers and fries.  I understand there is much crying and wailing when the parents go to pick up the kids on their way out of the reception venue, because they have had such a fun time.

QuitaAngel

Thank you!

I was starting to feel like a terrible bride!!