Wedding Etiquette Forum

My mom says I'm being a bad host...

...because FI and I are considering disposable dinnerware for our wedding. It wasn't what I had originally invisioned, but our ceremony and reception are outside on a farm, and we don't have on-site catering of any sort. We are bringing in all of the food and drinks ourselves with a separate vendor. When I contacted several renters for china/silver, they said we would have to wash all peices ourselves, and we don't have the means to do that before the honeymoon. For much more money we could have that service provided for us, but FI and I don't think the price is worth it, considering the "laid back" venue we have. My parents are giving us a couple thousand dollars for the wedding, but it has already been disbursed into other areas that my mother has decided a "must" for the wedding. FI and I are paying for everything else. To me, providing tons of food, drinks and music is more important than real plates, but now I'm wondering if I'm wrong and I'm not being considerate to my guests?

Please let me know what you think. I really value all of your opinions!
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Re: My mom says I'm being a bad host...

  • If it fits your venue and vibe, then I think it's okay. An outdoor farm wedding certainly sounds more laid back and as long at it's nicer dinnerware and not cheap stuff that falls apart in 2 seconds, I don't see a problem with it.
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  • For an outdoor farm wedding, disposable dinnerware would be completely fine with me. The logistics of real plates and silverware would be an absolute nightmare. What kind of food are you serving? I get irritated trying to cut meat with plastic utensils, but at a picnic style type of reception, I'd definitely overlook it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-says-im-being-bad-host?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73c55a42-6ded-4b6c-b22a-0c7723f31a8aPost:c1c738e7-0370-4937-9f3e-3a61c6463d48">Re: My mom says I'm being a bad host...</a>:
    [QUOTE]There's actually disposable dinnerware that you can buy that actually looks really nice. Your mom needs to chill out!
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]


    Ditto AATB - we're not having an outdoor reception, but it's BBQ and we're keeping everything extremely laid back - we're getting some nice disposable stuff and being done with it =) Good luck!
  • and this is why we paid for our own wedding.

    plastic silverware has come a long way - you can get some that actually looks silver.  it's fine to use.
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  • If your venue and tone of your wedding is "laid back" then I see absolutely no issue with it. 
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  • sarabellamsarabellam member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited September 2010
    The raging tree-hugger in me cringes at the thoughts of using disposable plates and silverware, but I don't think you are being an inherently bad host, considering the casual vibe of the venue. Dinner at the country club on disposable plates? I'd give you the side-eye.
  • I don't think it's wrong. We had a very casual outdoor wedding and used plasticware. We didn't have catering, so finding "real" plates and silverware for 100+ people would have been a nightmare.

    You can find somewhat fancy plasticware at Sam's and other places. I don't think I'd do paper plates since they are usually flimsy, and like LC said you might want to make sure nothing is too hard to cut.
  • The only way to be a bad host it to be rude, and nothing about this is rude.  It totally fits your venue and I'm sure it totally fits your food, so tell your mom that if she's so concerned, she can pay for the china and wash the dishes too.
  • Sounds like a yummy spread!  Just have LOTS of napkins since people will be using their hands to eat.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-says-im-being-bad-host?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73c55a42-6ded-4b6c-b22a-0c7723f31a8aPost:c1c738e7-0370-4937-9f3e-3a61c6463d48">Re: My mom says I'm being a bad host...</a>:
    [QUOTE]There's actually disposable dinnerware that you can buy that actually looks really nice. Your mom needs to chill out!
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    As usual, AATB reads my freaking mind and steals my thunder.

    Thanks, woman. Thanks.

    Anyway. Go to Costco or BJs and you will get this disposable china and silverware stuff that I SWORE for 5 minutes was real. My dad kept saying "that's plastic" and I laughed in his face about how foolish he was...until I picked it up. We should have taken pictures, my face was priceless.

    Make sure your photographer is ready for those kinds of pictures =)
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  • Manwaith - Ha!  I'll have to make a note to get those expressions on camera! And thanks for the info on Costco --we love that place.

    mypalbabs - Thanks, I hope everyone enjoys it!


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  • Thats the same thing I'm thinking of doing for our wedding. We are thinking of doing a reception in a beautiful old barn and we're thinking Chicken BBQ is the most appropriate. Besides, it's so expensive to rent the real thing from a caterer. One of my mom's friends said she goes to BJ's and buys plasticware that looks like real silver when they have work parties...and people always think it's real at first (which sounds like the general consensus from all the other brides). Go for it- or volunteer your Mom for dishes ; )

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-says-im-being-bad-host?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:73c55a42-6ded-4b6c-b22a-0c7723f31a8aPost:fc62e3d8-7064-4143-a284-7ccf043676a8">Re: My mom says I'm being a bad host...</a>:
    [QUOTE]For an outdoor farm wedding, disposable dinnerware would be completely fine with me. The logistics of real plates and silverware would be an absolute nightmare. What kind of food are you serving? I get irritated trying to cut meat with plastic utensils, but at a picnic style type of reception, I'd definitely overlook it.
    Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-says-im-being-bad-host?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:73c55a42-6ded-4b6c-b22a-0c7723f31a8aPost:e0762b88-4cf7-4eaa-ae10-5638fd81407e">Re: My mom says I'm being a bad host...</a>:
    [QUOTE]The raging tree-hugger in me cringes at the thoughts of using disposable plates and silverware, but I don't think you are being an inherently bad host, considering the casual vibe of the venue. Dinner at the country club on disposable plates? I'd give you the side-eye.
    Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

    Sara, they have biodegradable "plastic" disposable plates and silverware. So, even though you throw it away like normal, it disintegrates... 

    I would recommend those to OP. 

    <a href="http://www.biodegradablestore.com/index.html">http://www.biodegradablestore.com/index.html</a> 
  • The best wedding I ever attended has all disposable plates, cups, and silverware :) You're definitely not being a bad host by doing this.

    Check this site out for some amazing disposable options: http://www.smartyhadaparty.com/
  • just make sure you get the nice heavy duty stuff and you're good to go.  Disposable dishware has come along way from those paper plates we'd eat hot dogs and hamburgers off when we were kids
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  • Go for the disposable plates. The last thing they will remember is what plate and fork they ate food from. 
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