Guests Date Etiquette

laurag524

We are planning a small  wedding of about 100 people in October.  Because we want the wedding to be initimate (and we want to know everyone there!), our single friends are not being invited with dates.  We have mentioned this to them & they're all on board.  This leads to an awkward family issues.  We recently found out that my 22 year old cousin is having a baby. He is not in a relationship with the mother, whom we have never met, but is moving into her apartment to help with the baby (this is according to my aunt).  My parents & I aren't sure how to proceed with invitation etiquette - are we obligated to invite her because she is living with my cousin?  Should we invite only him & see if he asks to bring her?  

harper0813

Check with your aunt to see what your cousin would prefer. I'd either invite just him, or all three of them (him, the mother, and the infant).

AddieCake

If they are not in a relationship, and you are not allowing other singles a +1, you don't need to invite her. I would invite only him and see if he asks to bring her. Plan in your budget for her, but this is a non-issue otherwise for awhile. By the time your invitations go out, they may be dating or no longer living together and the question will be answered for you.

AJuliaNJ

I'd call and ask him in advance. It could be awkward if you choose the wrong option so I'd want clarification

How are you defining single otherwise?

CallaLily25

I'd say if they don't consider themselves in a relationship, then you don't have to invite her. Just double check that they in fact still don't consider themselves in a relationship so you don't offend anyone.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-date-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73dff741-5156-4397-8812-b79aceed7d55Post:bb6dc67d-450c-4925-8e81-e4a9e59ce213">Re: Guests Date Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guests Date Etiquette : Good question!  It's a small-ish wedding, so we are extremely close with everyone whose invited - including spouses/fiancees/signficant others.  We only have 2 guests that have boyfriends/girlfriends, and we know them very well.  The 6 "single" guests aren't dating anyone.  <strong>They know if they do start dating someone seriously, their SI will be invited as long as we meet them prior</strong>. Does that make any sense? Ha!
Posted by Brownbear2013[/QUOTE]

<div>That's not appropriate. If they are in relationships, their SOs need to be invited whether you have met them or not.</div>

laurag524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-date-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73dff741-5156-4397-8812-b79aceed7d55Post:4012f4f1-39d0-4c65-9cef-357fdd3a638f">Re: Guests Date Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guests Date Etiquette : That's not appropriate. If they are in relationships, their SOs need to be invited whether you have met them or not.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Sorry, I didn't know that rude - I've been invited without my fiancee to several weddings.  Like I said, we are having a small wedding & want to know everyone there.  I didn't mean to be inappropriate.

</div>

ZiggyZos

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-date-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:73dff741-5156-4397-8812-b79aceed7d55Post:46882cc6-84e1-487b-a44f-683667443f20">Re: Guests Date Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guests Date Etiquette : Sorry, I didn't know that rude - I've been invited without my fiancee to several weddings.  Like I said, we are having a small wedding & want to know everyone there.  I didn't mean to be inappropriate.
Posted by Brownbear2013[/QUOTE]

We understand your intention of "wanting to know everyone there". However, inviting someone to celebrate in your love and new marriage while not recognizing their relationship simply because you haven't met their SO is somewhat offensive.

I hope you are planning to invite ALL significant others, regardless of whether or not you have met them...

laurag524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-date-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73dff741-5156-4397-8812-b79aceed7d55Post:d926d025-875d-476c-91a0-4aaa25d7c275">Re: Guests Date Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guests Date Etiquette : We understand your intention of "wanting to know everyone there". However, inviting someone to celebrate in your love and new marriage while not recognizing their relationship simply because you haven't met their SO is somewhat offensive. I hope you are planning to invite ALL significant others, regardless of whether or not you have met them...
Posted by ZiggyZos[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div> I have six guests that are not involved with people, including my roommate and my fiancees.  I didn't mean to be offensive to anyone.</div>

banana468

As long as you're inviting people with SOs as a social unit you're fine.   Make sure you fix any errors you made between now and the wedding since it's only 6 people.

I'm still somewhat baffled that the cousin is going to have a baby with this person and he's moved in with her but they're not in a relationship.    Is it possible that this is something he just told his mom?