NWR: NYE Party at our house

allychase

We have discussed with a few of our friends getting together for NYE this year cause we never have in previous years, and since my FI and I are the only ones with a house that can really host enough people for a party, everyone has sort of assumed we could all get together here. 

I have no problem with this, but seeing as it's not just our decision to host a party and more of a group decision, is it fair to ask everyone to bring a dish or drinks? There's no way we can afford to pay for an entire party since we just had a big Halloween party and Christmas so we're trying to get back into saving mode for April. 

Is it rude to have a sort of potluck for the party? I know I'll get honest answers here and was wondering if this is appropriate, how to word it? We would just do a FB group invite since there's not enough time to send out paper invitations. TIA!

lauralaur

What is your crowd like? I don't know how to answer to your question specifically but I know with H and his cousins, all the same age, we always ask what we can bring. We've brought mashed potatos to his cousin's before and the last time we had everyone over we didn't plan anything for appetizers because his cousins were bringing them. Are they the type to ask if they can bring anything?

Or since it's NYE is it possible to start the party late enough that people wouldn't expect a meal-sized amount of food?

Gustafson28

Whenever we have a big party like that its BYOB. With that said, we provided snacks and non-alcoholic drinks ( both for mix and people not drinking). I know it's not appropriate by etiquette standards but that is how things work in our group. So to summarize, host provides main staples and the ppl attending bring sides and alcohol.

allychase

Oh yeah I'd definitely plan on hosting some alcohol and a few main entrees like ziti and subs and pizza or something but I feel like since this was more of a group decision like "Hey we all want to get together where should we go" it would be more acceptable to ask people to bring something? I'm so biased with wedding etiquette lately idk where things like this fall lol

libby2483

Depending on your social circle, I think this is just fine.  If we have a get-together with a large group of our friends, it is always BYOB.  In addition, the guests usually bring an appetizer/snack/dessert to share potluck style.  We are going to a NYE party at a friend's house and bringing our own alcohol, deviled eggs, a cheese and sausage platter, and some cookies.  I have absolutely no problem doing this, and would definitely not consider it rude.

stantokm

Not rude or tacky.  It's the difference between hosting a party and agreeing to provide a space for a party.  We had an End of the World party and no one was asked to bring anything; we're attending a holiday get-together like yours with my college friends next month and everyone will bring food/drinks or pitch in money to help cover expenses.

You may want to send an e-mail (or put on the Facebook invite) listing exactly what you're providing, what you'd like people to bring and have people volunteer from there.  I find that people are much quicker to respond to a list that than if you ask "Can you all let me know what you'd like to bring?"

Simply Fated

I think it can sometimes depend on whats the norm in your social circle. But, if you're hosting the main stuff, then I think it's fine to add in that's it's an optional potluck.

allychase

Thanks for all the replies! Glad my reasoning wasn't totally off. My girlfriend and I are kind of co hosting so we made the event page on FB, easiest way for our group to communicate quickly, and she posted a list of what were bringing and suggestions for other items cause I agree, people do better being guided on what to do in this case rather than having no options. Thanks again!

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-nye-party-at-our-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74303078-b7ff-4088-a8dd-99606870119dPost:b10fe1b9-2929-462c-856a-fbeaf83f153e">Re: NWR: NYE Party at our house</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally could never go to a party at a friend's house without bringing something.  I usually at least big a bottle of wine and usually something else. I don't think it is rude to ask them to bring something since they volunteered your place to be where the party is hosted at.
Posted by snippet17[/QUOTE]
Same. I always offer to bring something. 

Summer2011Bride

I think a potluck is totally fine. In our circle of friends, it's always potluck all the time (The one exception was our Housewarming party. I insisted on providing everything, but our guests still ended up bringing food or alcohol!) Especially because everyone jointly decided to have this party, I think a potluck is more than fine.

We're doing a NYE get-together at our place too but going out to dinner beforehand. So at our house we'll just provide some alcohol and appetizer type dishes for after dinner. Our friends still offered to bring alcohol.

MrsGandthebeag

I'm still considering inviting some friends over for NYE.  If so, we'll buy chinese food and then ask people to BYOB.  

amymaysa

We are having some friends over for dinner on NYE.

We are making roast beef and having apps and wine and others are bringing sides, dessert, etc.

That's just how we do it on our group and it always works well

s-aries8990

As you said, everyone assumed that they'd be getting together at your place. As long as you state your having a potluck party upfront, not "hosting" the NYE party, you're in the clear.