Someone tell me

YaPuppy

to be an adult and go to work tomorrow....

I thought I did the right thing...went to my boss last week to say, things don't look good for my Aunt/Godmother, I'll need a personal day soon.  She said no problem (I have the personal time banked).  I assured her I'd work ahead, and busted myself all week working through lunch without pay.  Wed. night she passed away...I went in to work Thurs. and asked my boss for Friday as a personal day to be with family, attend services, etc.  She said no, it was Friday, other people were out, she needed me.  I was so mad I didn't even respond to her email.

I sucked it up and went in Friday.  Did my best to hold it together, and still had to leave my desk a few times to go cry in the bathroom.  Then the vice president accidentally cc'd me on an email to my boss.  It said "Well, shes here, how long is she staying?"  My boss immediately called him to say he accidentally put me on it and I heard him say "oh sh*t"  I didn't respond, but again, I was livid and upset.  He then called and said "so, done yet, I understand you have somewhere to be?"  I just said, nope I was told to come in today, so I'm here until 5"

Meanwhile after a hellish weekend of services and family stuff, I have been stewing about all of this, and part of me wants to call in tomorrow just to be a brat back to them and say ~cough cough, sick" or "personal day, no comment" and just not come in.  I also don't want to sink to their level thogh, I know it'd be messed up to pull that, I'm an adult.   But I also don't know how to sit through the day and bite my tongue about the situation either since I'm still so damn mad.  Thoughts?

MissIntentional

wtf. is your job that important you had to miss your grandma's funeral?

JessAndTrav

I honestly probably would skip tomorrow. I know that's not the answer you're seeking, but I know that feeling. You told them in advance that you would need a personal day soon because someone was ill, and the boss said ok, but when you went to them for the personal day they said no. In my book, that's BS.

For the record, when my grandmother passed away, I was working a seasonal job at Toys-R-Us and I told them in the interview that I had a sick grandmother, so there may be a time approaching that I needed off, and then when she really took a turn for the worse (Dec. 22) I reminded them again. Well, she passed away at 6am Christmas Eve and they didn't want to give me Christmas Eve off.

Being a seasonal job, I quit that day. But if yo have personal days banked up, I'd take one tomorrow, as long as no punishment comes your way.

gkb0910

I would probably go to work because I'd feel badly about not going.  I'd resent being there the whole time, though.

What I wish I could do is talk to the vice president and/or my boss and discuss the contents of the email I was accidentally cc'ed on.  I'd calmly explain that I thought I took the right steps to get that day off and want to know why it wasn't honored. 

sarah0725

I might just take that personal day. They were real jerks keeping you at work on Friday.

thesuninherhead

I can't believe your boss declined you on having the day off. For me, that would be a deal breaker. I know it's hard with the economy the way it is, but you can't allow your employer to treat you with such disrespect. I agree with gkb in that I would approach higher management, explain the situation and also the email and let them know the level of distress it caused you. I know being confrontational isn't exactly pleasant, but it's beyond ridiculous that they wouldn't allow you to have the day off given the circumstances.

SaraAndrew2010

I think you should talk to HR at your company.  If they have a personal day policy in place (which I'm assuming they do since you've accumulated personal days), they must have guidelines for when you can use those days.  I have to imagine that a close family member's death qualifies as a valid reason to take a personal day and your boss shouldn't be able to interfere with that.

betrothed123

I would have skipped today if that happened to me.  As far as my company has explained it to me, they can't tell you what days you can or can't use personal or sick days.  If you have a personal or sick day you use it when you want to.  They have no say at all.

Stackeye210

Go to work!  Yes, it's cr*ppy what they did to you, but an eye for an eye in this instance is only going to reflect badly on you.  The company already got what they wanted, and that was for you to come into work on Friday.  If you don't go to work tomorrow they'll know it is for no good reason but spite. 

Yes, good companies show compassion for their workers, but their main priorities are making the business work, no feelings involved.  You can't necessarily fault them for that.  Also, most company policies state that bereavement is only given for immediate family, and unfortunately an aunt is not considered immediate (yes, dumb).  So they "technically" didn't do anything wrong.  Morally, YES, technically, NO. 

The emails sound as if they already think you're going to throw a hissy fit, so don't.  Prove them wrong, show them you wear your big girl panties even when you're p*ssed off. 

EDIT:  next time just call in, don't ask for permission

Stackeye210

By the way, I'm really sorry about your Aunt/Godmother.  It is an awful thing to lose someone. 

SwedishChick2011

Your boss is a tool.  You had the PT banked, she said you could have a day off, and then she went back on that AFTER you had already put in extra time.  I'd be tempted to call in sick or whatever too, but I probably wouldn't because your boss might see it as retaliatory.  Maybe you could discuss the situation with your boss/VP?

hayleymajayley

I'd go to work. And if you can do it calmly without getting pissed off (hah I dont know if I could in that situation) talk to the VP.

squirrly

Go to work.  Go to HR or the VP.  Demand back pay for working through lunch since you weren't permitted to take the comp time that was agreed to in advance.  Formally protest your bosses handling of the situation, and keep every shred of documentation you have about everything ever with him in the future.

And polish your resume.  You deserve better than that.  That is a shitty way to treat people, and I can't imagine working for somebody like that.