Wedding Etiquette Forum

Question I haven't seen yet...

So, I know that it is impolite to invite someone to the shower and reception without inviting them to the wedding, but what about the bachelorette?

I have several girlfriends that are awesome to party with, but we just aren't close enough for me to fit them into our 50 person guest list. They have expressed interest in joining in on the bachelorette party, and i know we'd have fun. They've never mentioned an invite to the wedding, so I don't think they're assuming that they'd be coming, and I've stressed several times that its a small wedding, so I'm fairly sure they get that. 


Re: Question I haven't seen yet...

  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    edited January 2012
    Inviting someone to ANY pre-wedding party means they get an invite to the wedding.

    Anyone invited to the engagement party, shower, Bach parties, etc. must be invited to the wedding.

    Yes it is a girls night out, but it is a girls night out that the other guests are paying for you. Usually the bride doesn't pay a dime for the bach party. Letting non-guests pay for the bride or even tag along when others are throwing a free party for the bride is bad form.

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  • The bachelorette is included in the list of pre-wedding parties.  Anyone invited must be invited to the wedding as well.
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  • PP's are wise. If you invite them to a wedding-related party, you need to invite them to your wedding.

    Also - this has been asked 100 times in 100 ways...promise.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-havent-seen-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74552ebb-a4f8-4ef4-af59-3d64592cb671Post:cb2dcac4-37ff-40ac-8c2e-2ff4ec5e5b8f">Re: Question I haven't seen yet...</a>:
    [QUOTE]PP's are wise. If you invite them to a wedding-related party, you need to invite them to your wedding. Also - <strong>this has been asked 100 times in 100 ways...promise.</strong>
    Posted by MRSBJS[/QUOTE]

    Yep.
  • I know you said they haven't shown interest in being invited to the wedding and have only shown interest in the b-party, but I think it's better to be safe than sorry. You can't really know what they're thinking and expecting. It will come off rude inviting them to the b-party and not the wedding. I would plan a non-wedding related night out with them sometime instead.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-havent-seen-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74552ebb-a4f8-4ef4-af59-3d64592cb671Post:cb2dcac4-37ff-40ac-8c2e-2ff4ec5e5b8f">Re: Question I haven't seen yet...</a>:
    [QUOTE]PP's are wise. If you invite them to a wedding-related party, you need to invite them to your wedding. Also - this has been asked 100 times in 100 ways...promise.
    Posted by MRSBJS[/QUOTE]

    <div>Hahaha I was thinking this too! </div><div>
    </div><div>Agree with PPs, no one can be invited to the showers/bachelorette without also being invited to the wedding. (I think the exception is work showers.  So maybe have a work bachelorette? HA!)</div>
  • edited January 2012
    You could plan a girls night out with the friends you want to see but unfortunately can't invite. Everyone could go dutch (or depending on your finances, you could buy a round of drinks) and just let them know that just because it's a small, intimate wedding doesn't mean you want to completely leave them out.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-havent-seen-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:74552ebb-a4f8-4ef4-af59-3d64592cb671Post:551d0112-565a-4809-935a-7b62e4da5df6">Re: Question I haven't seen yet...</a>:
    [QUOTE]You could plan a girls night out with the friends you want to see but unfortunately can't invite. Everyone could go dutch (or depending on your finances, you could buy a round of drinks) and just let them know that just because it's a small, intimate wedding doesn't mean you want to completely leave them out.
    Posted by ashleyvanderhoof[/QUOTE]

    Well said :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-havent-seen-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74552ebb-a4f8-4ef4-af59-3d64592cb671Post:551d0112-565a-4809-935a-7b62e4da5df6">Re: Question I haven't seen yet...</a>:
    [QUOTE]You could plan a girls night out with the friends you want to see but unfortunately can't invite. Everyone could go dutch (or depending on your finances, you could buy a round of drinks) and just let them know that just because it's a small, intimate wedding doesn't mean you want to completely leave them out.
    Posted by ashleyvanderhoof[/QUOTE]

    Yes!  This is a great idea!

    I actually went to a bachelorette when I wasn't invited to the wedding - but its not as bad as it sounds.  My cousin's friend's b-party was the same night as my best friend's bday party, and I told them that if they were bar-crawling they could stop by where we would be.  They ended up staying at that bar the whole night and I party-hopped.
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  • No.

    Though I will say that my H didn't have a "real" bachelor party, but 2 friends took him out for food and bar hopping a few nights before our wedding. They ended up meeting up with some other friends who wanted to go out, but who weren't invited to the wedding.

    However, due to his lack of a "real" bachelor party, my husband now wants to do a "combined" bachelor party - for both him and a friend who is getting married in May - this spring. So he's not the pinnacle of etiquette. Trust me, I told him he can't do it.
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  • Thanks ladies, and sorry, I hadn't seen th question yet, but then again, I didn't dig very deep. 


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