Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Etiquette Vent

My younger brother is getting married this year; they've chosen a beautiful venue, and we're super excited to come celebrate with them.  My mom told me that the venue has about 12 rooms, and that the next nearest town is about an hour away.  And now looking at travel plans, the town itself is just under 4 hours from the nearest airport.  I love my brother, but I'm irritated that they are expecting their guests to travel from across the country, drive 4 hours from the airport, and then still have to drive an hour to and from the ceremony/reception site (since not everyone will be able to stay at the venue lodging).

I mentioned it to my mom, thinking maybe she'd say something to him to get him to rethink his plans, but she said it's up to him-which it is, I guess I was just hoping for some mother-imposed wisdom.  Oh well, we'll make the best of it and I'm sure it will be fun, I just had to say this somewhere since I can't say it anywhere else. 

Re: Etiquette Vent

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    if i were a guest I'd be stressing. I hate driving in unknown areas, and the thought of five hours of it plus a wedding in one day doesn't thrill me. How much is cab fare in the area? I might look into that as an option, personally.
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    Ugh...that's a lot of travel. I don't blame you for being annoyed. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    SimplyFated, I have no idea how much cab fare would be--my guess is a LOT since it would be nearly an hour drive, and the location isn't in a town or anything like that, so they wouldn't have any return fare.  I don't think he's even thinking about the inconvenience to anyone-he and his FI are both really sweet, but I think he's a little clueless.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74765d5a-281c-49d5-9110-0474c39c5f75Post:ecf12688-a50c-4bcb-b707-0346f26d1652">Re: Etiquette Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ugh...that's a lot of travel. I don't blame you for being annoyed. 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    <div>At least it's in a beautiful area--I think we're going to bring our gear and do some backpacking and camping, which will make it seem like less of a "hike" I guess.</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74765d5a-281c-49d5-9110-0474c39c5f75Post:c56305b8-f5c3-4e68-91ae-919ab8e8cc62">Re: Etiquette Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]SimplyFated, I have no idea how much cab fare would be--my guess is a LOT since it would be nearly an hour drive, and the location isn't in a town or anything like that, so they wouldn't have any return fare.  I don't think he's even thinking about the inconvenience to anyone-he and his FI are both really sweet, but I think he's a little clueless.
    Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]
    I was just wondering what the price would be because if it wasn't that much more than renting a car and buying gas, it might be worth it because at least i woudn't have to drive, ya know? '
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74765d5a-281c-49d5-9110-0474c39c5f75Post:86e20fdf-f47b-4655-8484-dd02498718a1">Re: Etiquette Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Etiquette Vent : I was just wondering what the price would be because if it wasn't that much more than renting a car and buying gas, it might be worth it because at least i woudn't have to drive, ya know? '
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ah that makes sense.  Unfortunately we'll definitely need to rent a car for the 4 hour drive from the airport :)</div>
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    I've done that before, flew to California and drove three hours in the middle of the night to the middle of nowhere. HOWEVER, the groom was in the Navy, and the wedding took place on his current naval base, which happened to be in the middle of nowhere. The town was also her home town and where she and her immediate family, if not other family, not sure, lived, so while I wasn't thrilled about the travel, it would have been just as much travel for her family to get married near to his.

    I take it this is not the case with your brother? Some people get so caught up in their wedding "vision" that they forget about frowny faces from grumpy guests. They also think "well if they really love me then they'll come."
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    Oh it's getting betterapparently now they are talking about just having a small wedding and then a larger party elsewhere for those they couldn't invite...to which my mom said "well why not just do two ceremonies so everyone can be part of it?" I almost dieddid I really come from this family? They're realizing that they can only have 40 people stay at the resort, and it turns out that I think my brother and his FI sort of get it they realize that it's a bit of a hike but want it intimate and very small, but my mother keeps opening her mouth and telling people when and where the wedding is planned for...and tells my brother that she's not tellin anyone they're invited! I told my mom that telling people a date and location is the equivalent of an invite when you're telling this to family. This is going to be a hot mess. Hope my brother and FI wise up and do the right thing.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74765d5a-281c-49d5-9110-0474c39c5f75Post:3df43a75-f561-467b-a519-f79a77999b0b">Re: Etiquette Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Some people still operate on the "it's my day, I'll be married where I want" attitude, which is also understandable. That is not understandable.  It's selfish and inconsiderate.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I respectfully disagree. It is their wedding and they CAN choose where they want to get married. If they want to get married on a tiny island in the middle of the sea they could do that. Nobody is forcing anybody to go to this wedding. If it is too inconvienent or expensive anybody can respectfully decline. </div><div>
    </div><div>It would be wrong to have an inconvenant location and then throw a fit when people don't come, however I don't see evidence of that in the post. The wedding is for the bride and groom to make a new commitment to each other and they are well within their rights to have it wherever they want. Anybody they invite has the choice to attend or not.</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74765d5a-281c-49d5-9110-0474c39c5f75Post:012e5088-b81f-4ff6-9580-a21572c2065e">Re:Etiquette Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh it's getting betterapparently now they are talking about just having a small wedding and then a larger party elsewhere for those they couldn't invite...to which my mom said "well why not just do two ceremonies so everyone can be part of it?" I almost dieddid I really come from this family? They're realizing that they can only have 40 people stay at the resort, and it turns out that I think my brother and his FI sort of get it they realize that it's a bit of a hike but want it intimate and very small, but my mother keeps opening her mouth and telling people when and where the wedding is planned for...and tells my brother that she's not tellin anyone they're invited! I told my mom that telling people a date and location is the equivalent of an invite when you're telling this to family. This is going to be a hot mess. Hope my brother and FI wise up and do the right thing.
    Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]<div>OMFG lol</div><div>
    </div><div>I never understand the whole wedding reenactment thing. Sure people want to be involved and witness the wedding... but they want to witness the actual wedding, not the reenactment. 

    </div>
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    Lol yeah, my mom means well, and she is actually usually very polite, but I think she doesn't think before she says things, so I'm sure she didn't mean wedding reenactment--though I tried to explain to her how you can't have two ceremonies since, well, you can't get married twice without getting divorced prior.

    I think my brother and FI are actually going about this better than I thought.  It was nice to talk to them in person (we live on opposite sides of the country, but happened to be at a family thing this weekend), and hear what they're really thinking of doing (and not doing).  I also told them to not tell my mom so much!
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    Ohhh, freebread. I feel your pain. My brother and his wife got married in the middle of a very remote area on the less-populated bank of the Chesapeake Bay. It was a 2-3 hour drive from the DC/Baltimore airport to the small town w/ the hotel and then an additional hour drive into a very "rustic" area (my GPS didn't even show the "road" that I was on for the final leg of the drive) to the ceremony site.  

    Then when we got there, there were port-a-potties. 

    Still makes for a fun story though. =) 


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