Kids...

[Deleted User]

What is etiquette for inviting children? How old should they be to get their own chair/plate?

em01092

You can invite children or don't. You can invite children in the WP only. You can invite close family only. You can welcome all children. I would not set an age limit unless you do 18 and up. 

The main thing to keep in mind is to invite on equal "levels" or "circles." For example, if you invite your cousin Sally's kids but not your cousin Betty's kids, feelings might get hurt. Same goes for your friend Joe's kids but not your friend Tom's. It's also rude to not invite certain kids, such as your friend Tom's, because you think they are demons, but then invite Joe's kids. Keep it consistent and you should be ok. 

So basically you have several options, and it's up to you and your FI, along with your parents/his if they are footing the bill. Also consider your family dynamics and if keeping the peace is important to you. FMIL flipped when we said no kids, so we compromised with her after she stopped acting like she was 5. We came to an agreement that worked out pretty well for everyone.

If you are worried about costs, see if your caterer does any discounts for kids. Mine offers 1/2 price for 5-12, and under 5 are free. 

rebarobert2012

It's up to you whether or not you invite children.  I agree with pretty much everything PP said.  If you are going to invite children, you should make sure that they each get their own seat.  If possible, it's nice to provide the parents of infants with a high chair.

chumlee7478

Like PPs have said, it's totally up to you, but if you're going to limit to certain groups of people bringing kids, make sure you're clear.  Otherwise, feelings can get hurt.  We're limiting kids to children of the WP (1 baby), nursing mothers (1 baby) and my FI's niece and nephews (4 almost adults, as they are all 15-17 years old).  The babies go in to "chair count" for the venue, but not meal count. 

We were going baby-less, but that meant losing a groomsman and a close friend that would not be able to attend.  Otherwise, there are no small children for any other guest that needs to be invited for us. 

Bonzo2011

Like PP said, whether or not you invite children is up to you. But if you do, they need a seat. Your venue needs to have every living human counted towards the capacity, because room capacity has to do with fire code not meals. Caterers frequently have a discounted meal for kids 3-12, and under 3 is free. This can vary, but I found those ranges are pretty typical.