Wedding Etiquette Forum

No SO's for one group?

We're considering a beautiful downtown hotel penthouse as our reception venue, but it would limit our guest list to 80. I have ten very close teammates who I know would love to be at the same table, but I'm wondering if it's okay to go about inviting only them and not their SO's to the reception. I don't know all of their SO's and they respectively don't know one another's, and none of them are married. We would still want to invite the SO's of our other friends who aren't as tight as that particular group. I am positive that they would not be offended, and would like the chance to get together, but I just don't know how I would go about clarifying that in a gracious way, if it's possible. Is there etiquette on inviting a "group"?

Re: No SO's for one group?

  • EJH123EJH123 member
    First Comment
    it is perfectly acceptable to invite some ppl with a plus one and others (as long as they know other ppl there) without one.  I am sure none of them will be offended.
  • Sing2phinsSing2phins member
    100 Comments
    edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sos-one-group?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75009e0c-f1ba-4c57-8620-4388bbfc4b8ePost:90af6978-e27d-4846-9520-6aff8c154716">Re: No SO's for one group?</a>:
    [QUOTE]it is perfectly acceptable to invite some ppl with a plus one and others (as long as they know other ppl there) without one.  I am sure none of them will be offended.
    Posted by EJH123[/QUOTE]
    This is incorrect.  If people are in serious relationships, their SOs need to be invited.  They are a social unit, particularly if they live together, are engaged or married, or have been together say, more than 6 months or so.

    ETA:  This isn't about +1s, this is about significant others, which is not necessarily the same thing.
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  • Whether you know the SOs is irrelevant.  If they are a social unit they must be invited together.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sos-one-group?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:75009e0c-f1ba-4c57-8620-4388bbfc4b8ePost:90af6978-e27d-4846-9520-6aff8c154716">Re: No SO's for one group?</a>:
    [QUOTE]it is perfectly acceptable to invite some ppl with a plus one and others (as long as they know other ppl there) without one.  I am sure none of them will be offended.
    Posted by EJH123[/QUOTE]

    No.  SOs have to be invited.  They are a social unit.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sos-one-group?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75009e0c-f1ba-4c57-8620-4388bbfc4b8ePost:3807eb19-b94e-40b6-8ce7-dc95f9f11736">No SO's for one group?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're considering a beautiful downtown hotel penthouse as our reception venue, but it would limit our guest list to 80. I have ten very close teammates who I know would love to be at the same table, but I'm wondering if it's okay to go about inviting only them and not their SO's to the reception. I don't know all of their SO's and they respectively don't know one another's, and none of them are married. We would still want to invite the SO's of our other friends who aren't as tight as that particular group. I am positive that they would not be offended, and would like the chance to get together, but I just don't know how I would go about clarifying that in a gracious way, if it's possible. Is there etiquette on inviting a "group"?
    Posted by C&JBigDay[/QUOTE]

    Nope, no can do.  People in LTRs (married, engaged, living together, or dating long term) are a social unit and must be invited together.

    If you don't have room for all of your teammates plus their SOs then just don't invite any of them.
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  • If none of them have SO's and the choice is just about whether to invite them with a guest, I think it would be okay to not give them a guest since they will know a bunch of people already.  But if they have SO's then you need to invite them.
  • My friend's mom wanted to invite her (the mother's) group of 8 close knit friends from Chicago come to her wedding in Laguna.  She was not paying for the wedding.  Inviting 8 SO's would have been a big expense for my friend. 

    The women did not care at all and were elated to go on a girl's trip and leave all their husband's at home.  They had a blast at the wedding and acted like a group of delirious teenagers, dancing the whole night and even all getting in a fountain to cool off..  I can assure you none of them were offended.  

    You know your friends....make your own judgement.  I am not a fan of strict etiquette rules. 
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