Cocktail Hour

Belle0720

Etiquette-wise, is it okay to host a full open bar during cocktail hour and then for the reception just do beer, wine, etc? The cocktail hour and reception will be in two different locations at the venue and we just wouldn't have hard alcohol available at the reception, so our guests would not have to pull out their wallets.

nda8414

Stick to one or the other...it's confusing.  There's nothing wrong beer and wine for the cocktail hour.

nda8414

*with beer and wine for the cocktail hour

Sephiroth

I know some here disagree, but I honestly don't see anything particularly wrong with it etiquette-wise. It's two different locations, so there's already a psychological separation.

Sephiroth

Perhaps I've been to too many corporate functions where the cocktail hour was exactly that (full cocktails available), then the plated dinner function was wine only (and then after dinner is coffee/espresso/tea only). It's always seemed like a perfectly normal separation to me.

hockeywithadiamond

I just posted a similar question...in my opinion, it's your friggin wedding, you know your crowd, do what you're comfortable with.  

The whole line of you wouldn't charge people for alcohol in your house or you would deny someone a second glass of wine isn't a valid argument to me.  If this were in my house, I wouldn't be paying $8 a drink for someone and $60 a plate for them to eat.  A wedding isn't a place to over indulge your guests.  

Do what is in your budget and what you're comfortable with.  If guests have issues with it, it shows me more about who they are than anything.  If the only reason they want to come to the wedding is a free nice dinner and unlimited alcohol then it reflects poorly on their friendship more than anything.  If I had a guest complain that there wasn't unlimited drinks available then I would really consider their friendship in the future.  They should want to be there to help us celebrate and nothing more.  We aren't asking for gifts from our guests since their presence is more than enough for us.

Good luck!

Belle0720

Thanks for the feedback.

I've been to a few weddings that did this and it didn't bother me at all, so I wasn't sure how other people received it. I did ask the venue about doing a couple of signature cocktails instead but it sounds like it would be about the same cost as doing open bar all night, so that seems pointless. I guess we'll take a look at the budget as it gets closer and see whether we want to do beer & wine or open bar all night.

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:938c372c-cd82-4837-af87-eca1f2f3f1f8">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]I just posted a similar question...in my opinion, it's your friggin wedding, you know your crowd, do what you're comfortable with.   The whole line of you wouldn't charge people for alcohol in your house or you would deny someone a second glass of wine isn't a valid argument to me.  If this were in my house, I wouldn't be paying $8 a drink for someone and $60 a plate for them to eat.  A wedding isn't a place to over indulge your guests.   Do what is in your budget and what you're comfortable with.  If guests have issues with it, it shows me more about who they are than anything.  If the only reason they want to come to the wedding is a free nice dinner and unlimited alcohol then it reflects poorly on their friendship more than anything.  If I had a guest complain that there wasn't unlimited drinks available then I would really consider their friendship in the future.  They should want to be there to help us celebrate and nothing more.  We aren't asking for gifts from our guests since their presence is more than enough for us. Good luck!
Posted by hockeywithadiamond[/QUOTE]

Uh oh. . .

The point of the reception is to host an event for your guests to thank them for attending your wedding ceremony and thank them for being a part of your life.  Yes, it can be expensive, but don't use that as a rationalization for improper etiquette.

Cash bars are not proper etiquette, whether or not it is accepted or common place in your social circles.  Do with that information as you will.

Sephiroth

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:b430aa39-0d7e-4213-b72c-3b2c3929e4f5">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cocktail Hour : "psycologogical separations" or not, it's rude.  The truth is that some guests would not start in on hard liquor if they knew they weren't going to be drinking it all night.  Mixing alcohols is one of the surest ways to end up feeling awful the next morning.  I would be completely content with wine all night, but if I have two vodka collins during cocktail hour, then get to the reception to find no more vodka, I'm going to be stuck drinking water or soda for the rest of the night.  And while I have no issues with a dry reception, forced sobriety at an event where others are drinking sucks and would leave me thinking less than charitable thoughts about the hosts. 
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

You would prefer it be wine only from the beginning if it's going to be wine only during dinner. And other people would prefer to have the option for the vodka collins during cocktail hour, even if dinner was wine only. People's personal preferences about how they would like to consume alcohol are not the sole determining factors in whether or not something is rude.

I've never seen this as a rule in any etiquette book, modern or otherwise. I've never seen any rule that's even remotely related.

Cash bars are inherently rude because it flies in the face of the concept of hosting. I have trouble seeing how offering different drinks from one section of the evening to another is any more rude than the fact that different food is available during the passed hors d'oeuvres than is available during dinner, or during desert.

Sephiroth

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:938c372c-cd82-4837-af87-eca1f2f3f1f8">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]I just posted a similar question...in my opinion, it's your friggin wedding, you know your crowd, do what you're comfortable with.   The whole line of you wouldn't charge people for alcohol in your house or you would deny someone a second glass of wine isn't a valid argument to me. <strong> If this were in my house, I wouldn't be paying $8 a drink for someone and $60 a plate for them to eat.  A wedding isn't a place to over indulge your guests.  </strong> Do what is in your budget and what you're comfortable with.  If guests have issues with it, it shows me more about who they are than anything.  If the only reason they want to come to the wedding is a free nice dinner and unlimited alcohol then it reflects poorly on their friendship more than anything.  If I had a guest complain that there wasn't unlimited drinks available then I would really consider their friendship in the future.  They should want to be there to help us celebrate and nothing more.  We aren't asking for gifts from our guests since their presence is more than enough for us. Good luck!
Posted by hockeywithadiamond[/QUOTE]


If you don't want to 'over indulge' your guests, host a cheaper wedding. But you have to actually HOST whatever you do. Which means you pay for it.

Honestly, would you charge your guests an entrance fee at the door? How about asking them to pay if they want to upgrade from chicken to steak?

AJuliaNJ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:938c372c-cd82-4837-af87-eca1f2f3f1f8">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]I just posted a similar question...in my opinion, it's your friggin wedding, you know your crowd, do what you're comfortable with.   The whole line of you wouldn't charge people for alcohol in your house or you would deny someone a second glass of wine isn't a valid argument to me.  If this were in my house, I wouldn't be paying $8 a drink for someone and $60 a plate for them to eat.  Posted by hockeywithadiamond[/QUOTE]

As much as I disagree with full or partial cash bars, I agree that the "not charging guests if you had a dinner in your home" argument is not always valid. It could easily work as an argument FOR a partial cash bar. For example, if I was serving a decent wine with eggplant parmesan in my home and my guests wanted to add on a premium champagne or a lobster tail, I don't think it would be indecent for me to expect them to pick that up. 

However, in the case of a wedding, you are a host in a more formal sense of the word, and the guests should not open their wallets at all.

Anyway, that's off topic. I think you should offer the same drinks all night. I've been to plenty of events where just wine and beer is offered, and it's fine. Most people would prefer to not switch drinks mid-event.

aurianna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:938c372c-cd82-4837-af87-eca1f2f3f1f8">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]I just posted a similar question...in my opinion, it's your friggin wedding, you know your crowd, do what you're comfortable with.   The whole line of you wouldn't charge people for alcohol in your house or you would deny someone a second glass of wine isn't a valid argument to me.  If this were in my house, I wouldn't be paying $8 a drink for someone and $60 a plate for them to eat.  A wedding isn't a place to over indulge your guests.  <strong> Do what is in your budget </strong>and what you're comfortable with.  If guests have issues with it, it shows me more about who they are than anything.  If the only reason they want to come to the wedding is a free nice dinner and unlimited alcohol then it reflects poorly on their friendship more than anything.  If I had a guest complain that there wasn't unlimited drinks available then I would really consider their friendship in the future.  They should want to be there to help us celebrate and nothing more.  We aren't asking for gifts from our guests since their presence is more than enough for us. Good luck!
Posted by hockeywithadiamond[/QUOTE]

The bolded is the ONLY part of that advice you should listen to, and only if you apply it to the whole night. Flush the rest down the toilet.

Seriously <strong>hockeywithadiamond</strong>, the reception is a thank you to your guests. As the host you are to do everything in your power to make sure they are treated with total respect and politeness.
I think you should just elope while you still can. You're oozing a very strong, "It's my wedding. It's all about me" attitude. It's not. The ceremony is about you. The reception is about the guests who were gracious enough to sped a night of their weekend watching you prance around in a white dress.


Now here's a question...
Downgrading the bar halfway through is usually a bad idea.
What about upgrading it? What if it were only beer/wine prior to dinner, but liquor added <em>after</em>?

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:b430aa39-0d7e-4213-b72c-3b2c3929e4f5">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cocktail Hour : "psycologogical separations" or not, it's rude.  The truth is that some guests would not start in on hard liquor if they knew they weren't going to be drinking it all night.  Mixing alcohols is one of the surest ways to end up feeling awful the next morning.  I would be completely content with wine all night, but if I have two vodka collins during cocktail hour, then get to the reception to find no more vodka, I'm going to be stuck drinking water or soda for the rest of the night.  And while I have no issues with a dry reception, forced sobriety at an event where others are drinking sucks and would leave me thinking less than charitable thoughts about the hosts. 
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I'm with Stage on the being unable to mix alcohol, so this would bother me as a guest. If I started off with vodka and then either had the option of switching and risking a massive headache or just not drinking while everyone else is, I'd be annoyed.  I'm not sure if its technically against etiquette or not, but I think it's just more polite and safer to offer the same thing all night. So stick with beer and wine the whole night.

Sephiroth

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:042db8a6-8b89-4ce5-a523-bf84af87d48b">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cocktail Hour : As much as I disagree with full or partial cash bars, I agree that the "not charging guests if you had a dinner in your home" argument is not always valid. It could easily work as an argument FOR a partial cash bar. For example, if I was serving a decent wine with eggplant parmesan in my home and my guests wanted to add on a premium champagne or a lobster tail, I don't think it would be indecent for me to expect them to pick that up.  However, in the case of a wedding, you are a host in a more formal sense of the word, and the guests should not open their wallets at all. Anyway, that's off topic. I think you should offer the same drinks all night. I've been to plenty of events where just wine and beer is offered, and it's fine. Most people would prefer to not switch drinks mid-event.
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]


You're missing the point. If you hosted a dinner in your home with decent wine and eggplant parmesan, that would be perfectly appropriate. And your guests should be accepting that hospitality graciously, and not demanding things you aren't offering.

What would be rude is to lay the eggplant parm and wine on the table and say 'this is it, BUT, for just $10 more you can have lobster instead! Whadya say?" That would be extremely rude and weird.

The cash bar is the same kind of offer.

Sephiroth

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:ff7748cb-d286-480e-80b9-489c9f84b904">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cocktail Hour : I'm with Stage on the being unable to mix alcohol, so this would bother me as a guest. If I started off with vodka and then either had the option of switching and risking a massive headache or just not drinking while everyone else is, I'd be annoyed.  I'm not sure if its technically against etiquette or not, but I think it's just more polite and safer to offer the same thing all night. So stick with beer and wine the whole night.
Posted by vonclancy[/QUOTE]

Just on a personal note, I'm actually the exact opposite. I can't really drink more than one, maybe two, glasses of wine without getting a raging headache. And I can't drink beer. So a wedding that is wine and beer all night leaves my in a similar predicament. So I always prefer liquor to be available, whether it's the whole night or just the cocktail hour.

But that's just my preference. It doesn't mean wine and beer all night is *rude*, just that it isn't as awesome for me, personally.

aurianna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:7e49ea40-3a08-4325-87fb-0af202d81708">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cocktail Hour : "Beer then liquor, never been sicker" Upgrading would raise the risk that your guests would be leaving overserved.
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

Heh. Thanks. I didn't know the rhyme. I never do beer or wine so I don't know the rules.

But then let's play devil's advocate here.

Ok, if you have people that do beer first then liquor, it's bad in a chemical sense.

But is it wrong from just a straight etiquette stand point? Here's one thing guests... and later, Ooh, look, even more!
I'd almost see it akin to a reception that served dinner but then later brought in late night pizza/hotdogs/whatever.

And hypothetically if it weren't a violation of etiquette, isn't it wrong to assume your guests aren't adult enough to make the decision how and what they drink and when?

(not being argumentative. Just musing)

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:938c372c-cd82-4837-af87-eca1f2f3f1f8">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]I just posted a similar question...in my opinion, it's your friggin wedding, you know your crowd, do what you're comfortable with. <strong>  The whole line of you wouldn't charge people for alcohol in your house or you would deny someone a second glass of wine isn't a valid argument to me.  If this were in my house, I wouldn't be paying $8 a drink for someone and $60 a plate for them to eat.  A wedding isn't a place to over indulge your guests</strong>.   Do what is in your budget and what you're comfortable with.  If guests have issues with it, it shows me more about who they are than anything.  If the only reason they want to come to the wedding is a free nice dinner and unlimited alcohol then it reflects poorly on their friendship more than anything.  If I had a guest complain that there wasn't unlimited drinks available then I would really consider their friendship in the future.  They should want to be there to help us celebrate and nothing more.  We aren't asking for gifts from our guests since their presence is more than enough for us. Good luck!
Posted by hockeywithadiamond[/QUOTE]

You know there are venues that don't charge $8 a drink and $60 a plate right?  


Apparently finding a location to properly host our guests on our budget makes us over indulged  our  guests?   It doesn't matter if it's my own home or not I don't make my guests pay when I invite them anywhere.    For our wedding, we found a place that allowed us to bring in our own booze to keep the costs down.   

  Being a good host is very important to us.   Seems like we are dying breed.


OP - I think it's strange to over some drinks for the cocktail hour and not for the whole night.  I don't drink liquor so it would not effect me.  DH drinks vodka.  He will drink beer or wine occasionally.   However, if he starts off with liquor he does not switch because it make him sick.  It weird that wine and beer drinkers are able to sick with what they like all night.  The liquor drinkers are teased with a few drinks and told to switch. It's like  giving each kid  their favorite candy and then taking some of the kids favorites away while others get to keep theirs.  It's weird. 

I would stick with the same alcohol all night. If you can't afford a full open bar then just do wine and beer. Psychologically speaking they will not miss the vodka as much if they didn't see/taste it in the first place.

Knottie_22383303

I have to echo the previous opinions, in favor of keeping consistency in your bar offerings all night.  Switching up the options in the middle can be confusing AND frustrating for your guests. I get where you're coming from, but once people start drinking, and a drink of choice has been made, most people will want to stick to that one drink all night. To mess that up, would just be wrong.   Keep things simple.

AddieCake

I haven't read the responses b/c I'm pretty sure I read them all the other day in a similar thread, so I know what they say, so I think I can safely say that I agree with PPs. It is confusing and/or upsetting to your guests if you switch it up. 

Wheels987

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:7557661a-95fb-4e33-86bb-3eda6e87d043">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the feedback. I've been to a few weddings that did this and it didn't bother me at all, so I wasn't sure how other people received it. I did ask the venue about doing a couple of signature cocktails instead but it sounds like it would be about the same cost as doing open bar all night, so that seems pointless. I guess we'll take a look at the budget as it gets closer and see whether we want to do beer & wine or open bar all night.
Posted by MissKristenWed84403[/QUOTE]

Once I go to hard alcohol, I won't go back to beer or wine. We're hosting beer, wine, and a signature cocktail for those that don't enjoy beer or wine. Is that an option? I've never heard of anyone getting upset for lack of hard booze, but I'd definitely be confused if I wanted a Lemon Drop after dinner and I couldn't get one.

nda8414

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:935e1cdf-de91-4199-89a0-dc5d131d1ddf">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cocktail Hour : <strong>I wouldn't ask for advice if you don't want to hear all the possible answers. </strong> If you know what you're going to do, just do it.  But if you ask women who are etiquette-minded, we'll give you an honest answer.
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

what she said

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:a33b9192-0212-47e8-b909-9d12d9c89a9e">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cocktail Hour : Just on a personal note, I'm actually the exact opposite. I can't really drink more than one, maybe two, glasses of wine without getting a raging headache. And I can't drink beer. So a wedding that is wine and beer all night leaves my in a similar predicament. So I always prefer liquor to be available, whether it's the whole night or just the cocktail hour. But that's just my preference. It doesn't mean wine and beer all night is *rude*, just that it isn't as awesome for me, personally.
Posted by Sephiroth[/QUOTE]

Fair enough. That's why I said I'm not technically sure of etiquette. I just know personally, I'd prefer all or nothing. For example, I cannot drink gin. Like, at all. Even a sip makes me nauseous. I'd still prefer a gin only wedding than to have an hour or two of drinking wine and then having it disappear for the next few hours. But that could just be me.

nda8414

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:82068735-e9e7-4e91-960d-0c9c94a2ed98">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cocktail Hour : You know there are venues that don't charge $8 a drink and $60 a plate right?   Apparently finding a location to properly host our guests on our budget makes us <strong>over indulged  our  guests</strong>?   It doesn't matter if it's my own home or not I don't make my guests pay when I invite them anywhere.    For our wedding, we found a place that allowed us to bring in our own booze to keep the costs down.      Being a good host is very important to us.   Seems like we are dying breed. OP - I think it's strange to over some drinks for the cocktail hour and not for the whole night.  I don't drink liquor so it would not effect me.  DH drinks vodka.  He will drink beer or wine occasionally.   However, if he starts off with liquor he does not switch because it make him sick.  It weird that wine and beer drinkers are able to sick with what they like all night.  The liquor drinkers are teased with a few drinks and told to switch. It's like  giving each kid  their favorite candy and then taking some of the kids favorites away while others get to keep theirs.  It's weird.  I would stick with the same alcohol all night. If you can't afford a full open bar then just do wine and beer. Psychologically speaking they will not miss the vodka as much if they didn't see/taste it in the first place.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

also, what's the big deal about "over indulging" your guests? Doesn't hosting a party mean making your guests feel welcome and comfortable? I can't wait to "over indulge" my guests!!!

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:a23ed915-7672-41e7-aa34-d444198c2593">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cocktail Hour : also, what's the big deal about "over indulging" your guests? Doesn't hosting a party mean making your guests feel welcome and comfortable? I can't wait to "over indulge" my guests!!!
Posted by nda8414[/QUOTE]

Good question.   I enjoy over indulging my guests.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:756617e4-8705-40e3-9b9b-612cf2a0b6e4Post:938c372c-cd82-4837-af87-eca1f2f3f1f8">Re: Cocktail Hour</a>:
[QUOTE]I just posted a similar question...in my opinion, it's your friggin wedding, you know your crowd, do what you're comfortable with.   The whole line of you wouldn't charge people for alcohol in your house or you would deny someone a second glass of wine isn't a valid argument to me.  If this were in my house, I wouldn't be paying $8 a drink for someone and $60 a plate for them to eat. <strong> A wedding isn't a place to over indulge your guests.</strong>   Do what is in your budget and what you're comfortable with.  If guests have issues with it, it shows me more about who they are than anything.  If the only reason they want to come to the wedding is a free nice dinner and unlimited alcohol then it reflects poorly on their friendship more than anything.  If I had a guest complain that there wasn't unlimited drinks available then I would really consider their friendship in the future.  They should want to be there to help us celebrate and nothing more.  We aren't asking for gifts from our guests since their presence is more than enough for us. Good luck!
Posted by hockeywithadiamond[/QUOTE]
What a horrible way to view hosting your guests.