handling of invited for destination & hometown party

hburns25

My fiance want sto invite everyone to both events (desitination wedding & hometwon party a few wks later) so as not to hurt feelings. My concern is that we wil lhave more folks attend the ceremony than we want (worker friends etc). I want to do 2 lists. If we do 2 lists...how should I hande invites, wording etc? 2 different types of invites? same invite but different info given locations? Or make it easy, invite everyone and hope that the expense alone will weed folks out..sound mean I know..ugh.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_handling-of-invited-for-destination-hometown-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:75922e92-f041-4773-b2ae-c1e48f7a7482Post:92dc22cc-b6c1-4a2a-aa1a-aefee3f61f7d">handling of invited for destination & hometown party</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance want sto invite everyone to both events (desitination wedding & hometwon party a few wks later) so as not to hurt feelings. My concern is that we wil lhave more folks attend the ceremony than we want (worker friends etc). I want to do 2 lists. If we do 2 lists...how should I hande invites, wording etc? 2 different types of invites? same invite but different info given locations? Or make it easy, invite everyone and hope that the expense alone will weed folks out..sound mean I know..ugh.
Posted by hburns25[/QUOTE]

Anyone invited to the at home reception must also be invited to the wedding.

CallaLily25

Definitely invite the same guests to both events and let them choose which one they'll attend. Having two lists would be rude and could make some of your guests feel like second best.

NOLAbridealmost

Your FI is correct.   Is this an actual destination wedding?  If it's a faraway, exotic place I doubt you'll have many coworker friends show up.

STARMOON44

I think you can invite anyone to the hometown party, since as CMGr correctly points out, it isn't a reception.  But if you invite 100 people to your destination wedding and 120 to your hometown party, that's going to be awkward and hurt feelings.

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_handling-of-invited-for-destination-hometown-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75922e92-f041-4773-b2ae-c1e48f7a7482Post:64d4ff65-e165-41e1-8474-7f5b4544de4b">Re: handling of invited for destination & hometown party</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you can invite anyone to the hometown party, since as CMGr correctly points out, it isn't a reception.  But if you invite 100 people to your destination wedding and 120 to your hometown party, that's going to be awkward and hurt feelings.
Posted by STARMOON44[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I agree with this. If you're doing close family and super close friends for the DW only, I think you can invite everyone to the party at home and I would think they would understand. But if you have the room and the budget, it's always nice to invite everyone to both.</div>

kasey7186

I am in a similar situation...my fiance and I are going to have a private destination wedding in Florida right before we board a 7 day cruise for our Honeymoon. Once we get back, we will be back for 7 days before we have our wedding reception. We are not inviting anyone to our ceremony, because we want it private and intimate with just the two of us. However, when we get home, we do want to celebrate with all of our friends and family and have a big backyard bash. I have researched and everything says to invite everyone to both, but I don't really understand why because we do not want anyone to come to our ceremony. At our reception we will show pictures of our wedding, pictures from our cruise, and cut the cake. I, personally, do not feel that this is tacky considering that we will be waiting to do any of these things until we get back. I say do not send out invites if you don't want people to show up. It's an awkward conversation to have to tell someone they aren't invited to your wedding, although you sent out an invitation. Does anyone have any feedback on this? Any similar situations?