Kids at a wedding... whats the cut off?

bbococ1

I am in a bit of a dilemma about deciding whether my FH and I should have kids at the wedding or where to make the cut off. We are paying for the wedding ourselves so we have decided not to invite friends and extended family’s kids but it’s our immediate family that is the problem. I personally would prefer an adult only reception (I was thinking 16 and up) but unfortunately it would split my 1st cousins in half. Meaning one sibling would be able to attend and the younger sibling would not. Also between my FH and me, we have 20 kids between the ages of 5-17, most of which are in the 6-10 range. I think that is way too many kids for an open bar reception. Also we’re having the reception at a local bar/music hall which is typically 21 and up to even get in on a regular night. As much as I would like for my teen cousins to enjoy the reception I feel that I have to make a clean cut…. L Has anyone else had a similar problem? Anyone have suggestions as to how to handle this? Thanks to all in advanced!

bbococ1

If I do no kids at all I wouldn't be able to have the ring bearer and flower girl there which are nieces and nephews. I really want them there. Also if I don't invite the cousins that are kids I have aunts and uncles that are already threatening not to come because they think they're children are quote" young ladies" and should be invited.... I'm really having a hard time with this.

Beaniebeach- if I do 13 and up I would be inviting one sibiling but not the other. would it be rude to do that? I'd feel awful saying one could come but not the other.

No one told be the guest would be so stressful... ugh. lol

Loopyseven

As long as you follow a "rule" you can make the cut off whenever you like.  Some people do nieces and nephws only (which would allow for your flower girl/ring bearer).  If anyone else said anything you just tell them you are limiting those under X age to your nieces and nephews only.  Clear and concise and no one gets their feeligns hurt.  Splitting siblings over an arbitrary age like 13 or 16 is likely to cause drama - not so much if you use an 18 or 21 (legal to drink) age limit to qualify as an "adult".

I wouldn't let the presence of an open bar keep you from inviting the kids though, if you really want them there.  They often have the BEST time dancing and stuff out of everyone.

ggirl2001

I would keep it nieces and nephews only. Those are the ones in the WP right? Call your relatives bluff. They don't get a say in whether or not their kids are invited to the wedding. 

NOLAbridealmost

I think you are within your rights to do a cut-off age of 16.  How many siblings would be split up? If it's just one or two, I'd make the exception for those kids and just call it a day.  I think that leaving 1 person out of a family invitation is worse than possibly offending someone whose kids were all not invited because they were too young.  

DMoore421

I am not having kids with exception of my son and then my niece and nephew. Niece will be the flower girl and nephew will be playing the saxophone. All of my friends and a large portion of my family have kids but the kids are not invited. In the past though I have been to weddings where there was an age cut off and it was not unheard of for families to be split by the cut Off.

baird32

At my wedding, we're just allowing bridal party kids since they are part of the wedding. We didn't say no kids, we just just had the adults on the invites. Most of them are so happy to get a date night anyways so nobody took offense and no one asked about their kids. Fine with me. Thats just the young age. We did include teenagers on the invite. Only some of the family teens are coming. My one friend who has teen daughters said she will not bring hers.. like i said.. date night!..

Its your wedding, your choice

bbococ1

Thanks everyone so much for the support! And suggestions. I think I'm just going to have to make a clear fair cut and hopefully people won't get too offended. I'm not going to please everyone. 

Thanks again!