Maid of honor/ wedding planner

alexkahayna

Hi all; This is my first post here and I am intrigued by ettiquette. My Maid of Honor is also my wedding planner. My fiance and I plan on giving her cash for her services but we don't know how to bring it up to her or how much is too much. Of course, we are on a budget but don't want her to do all the planning for free. I have known her for about 2 years and she is closer than my own mother. I appreciate your help;w are stumped.

Meegles4

It depends on what this service goes for in your area. In my area DOC can charge anywhere from $300 and up for their services. Obviously if you're hiring a wedding planner for more than just the day, it's much more.

I might be uncomfortable giving my MOH a check, so I would perhaps get a gift card to a nice restaurant or something like that.

Also, is she a professional wedding/event planner or is just just acting in this role because she's your MOH. Frankly, anyone can 'plan' a wedding. My MOH helped me and I didn't pay her anything. Now, if she's going to be contacting/meeting vendors, reviewing contracts, negotiating payments, coming up with decor ideas and executing those ideas, then I would put her more in the "professional" category and agree you should pay her or somehow otherwise recognize her.

gurrlballa10

I wouldn't have done that, but to each their own.  I would, first and foremost, get a contract drawn up in case anything goes wrong/or she doesn't do something she said she would. 

You have to treat this like a business deal, because that's what it is. 

alexkahayna

Thanks for the input. I come from a very small family and have very few friends. She has been with me through my darkest hour and I trust her She's coming up with the logistics and the vendors, reception, catering ect. We just don't know how to bring it up (she is not expecting anything) and not get turned down.

Meegles4

I agree with GB, then. You should get a contract going and set some terms to what she is/isn't expected to do. Even if she's doing it for free, you don't want to have a fight in 2 months and have her drop the ball on everything. I know you're BFFs for lyfe, but you never know.

Peledreamsofrain

Contracts are a must, even between friends.  This isn't just a trust issue, but it's a protection for both parties.  There are good, solid reasons for both parties to do this, such as insurance reasons.

For example, god forbid your friend gets injured while doing wedding work for you.  If there is no contract, there is no proof that she is involved in a business aspect with your wedding.  She has no recourse for a workman's compensation claim for a workplace injury, and loses legal protection of her rights to an insurance claim.  Now she's stuck with paying out of pocket for her injuries.

See how it can get absurdily complicated in unexpected ways?  Just do a contract and enjoy the peace of mind on both sides.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Please get a contract. Have her give you whatever she normally uses - this should also address payment terms. You might also ask her, "did you want a deposit when I sign the contract? I'm pretty sure you won't be planning any other events on that date, but I wanted to do everything by the book!"