Wedding Etiquette Forum

Time Frame and Seating...

We are having our ceremony and reception at the same venue. The service will be upstairs on the balcony floor, will hold about 300 people, and the reception downstairs in the ballroom, holds about 650+.
We received our contract in the mail yesterday, along with any information we may need prior to, we aren't getting married until Sept 2012. My biggest issue is picking a time frame, we automatically get 5 hours with the standard amount we are paying, plus an additional $100 per hour extra. We plan on having a very simple quick in and out ceremony with a friend of ours that is a magistrate. But I am still stuck on is 5 hours enough?...The premises is open from 1pm to 12am, but very highly doubt we will wanting to stay that late. Reception will consist of appetizers and cocktail hour, dinner, cake, dancing, etc. I have been to plenty of weddings, but I honestly can't compare timing because they ALL have differed greatly.
Also, they will be charging up an additional $3 per chair per person for the ceremony and will allow us to come in the night before to decorate any extra items aside from the lighting/tulle package we are already purchasing. Would it be wrong of me to ask a few friends of family to come in with me the night before to set up chairs to avoid extra cost? Regardless of attendance, the venue will be charging us for 150 people, so if im getting charged for 150, i will be trying as much as possible to have 150.

Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

Re: Time Frame and Seating...

  • edited April 2011
    Our reception hall default was 4 hours for reception; we added an extra hour, so we'd have five hours including cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing.  I didn't feel like four was enough.  Ceremony is at a separate location.

    Even for a quick ceremony, if you're starting at 4, I'd say plan on the ceremony lasting until 4:30, in case anyone is running late or anything like that.  I've seen a lot of weddings not start precisely on time.

    I guess it's all in how long you want your party to last - and if you can afford the extra cost of the bar for each person for the extra hour you might add.

    And yes, it's wrong to ask friends to set up the chairs.  Pay the money or do it all yourself, you and your FI.
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  • So you haven't picked a ceremony time then?  Or did I miss it?

    You need to pick a ceremony time before you can pick a reception time.  If you want your ceremony to start at 3 PM, you should have a reception from about 4 - 9 PM.  If you are starting the ceremony at 5 PM, you should do 6 - 11 PM.  Does this make sense?

    Our reception went from 7 PM - 12 AM, and my friends were still dancing around and could have gone for another hour or so if we hadn't had to break up the reception at that time due to contract).  I wouldn't worry about being there too late, unless you have to get up for your honeymoon early in the morning.
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  • jrkjpfjrkjpf member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited April 2011
    No we have not picked a time for anything yet because of having the ceremony and reception in the same location. As well as not certain on how long things should last.

    PS. The last wedding we went to was 4:30-11pm, ceremony, reception and all, and we even continued on at a nearby bar.

    Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

  • This was our time-line, and I thought it worked well. 

    4:30 - 5 Ceremony
    5 - 6 Pictures/Cocktail Hour
    6 - 7:30 Dinner
    7-10 Photobooth
    7:30 First dances, cake cutting, etc
    7:30-11:30 Dance!!
    8:30 Cake station
    10:00 Late night snack
    11:30 - 12 Clean-up

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  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2011
    I agree with PP, you should budget at least forty-five minutes for ceremony time, even if it's going to be a short 20 minute ceremony, even if they are at the same location, so you can at least prepare for some delay (I work for a church and I can tell you, 90% of our weddings start somewhere between 5 - 15 minutes late, because photographers, makeup, hair, etc. run longer than expected and the bride is late).  Then pick what time you want for your ceremony according to what time of day you want to hold it, and what kind of reception (lunch, dinner, etc.) you want to have, and go from there.
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  • I would say 5 or 6 hours would be good, since you're including the ceremony. I would do at least 5.
  • We have 5 hours at our venue with no option to extend.  Our ceremony is at the same location, but the 5 hours does not include the ceremony (so the 5 hours starts when people move to the cocktail hour).  We feel like it's enough time, although we wouldn't have been ok with 5 hours to include the ceremony, because we would be worried about people not sitting down fast enough, not moving fast enough to cocktails, etc. 

    Can you extend the reception day of?  Maybe you can decide when you're in the middle of the reception whether or not you want to pay the extra $100 for another hour. 

    As for having friends and family set up the space, I think it really depends on your crowd.  Etiquette wise, your guests should not have to work at all at an event you are hosting, which includes setting it up.  That said, I have friends that would definitely help and would prefer to do something like this as their gift to us, and in FI's family no one would think twice about doing the tasks you're suggesting, but I would not ask my cousins or aunts and uncles, it's just not our family's style. 
  • We had this timeline--

    6-7:30 -- cocktails
    7:30-- Dinner
    8:30-- first dances, dance started
    9:30-- cake cutting, toasts, dessert buffet opened
    10ish-midnight-- dancing

    It went by SO FAST, andwe were there the entire time as we did pictures before. Our crowd actually ended up staying and hanging out until 1 AM. Our open bar ran out at 11:30, but we ended up running a tab for consumption from then until 1 or so when the bartender had to stop serving.  Some of the people with young children and a few older folks left after the cake, but everyone else stayed. The band also stayed a bit extra. It depends on what vibe you're going for, but if you have booze and a good band or DJ, people will want to hang out longer.
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  • Since we're getting married on a Friday we're having the ceremony start at 6, but luckily we're having the ceremony and reception are at the same venue as well so guests can start eating and partying, or just sitting asap. 

    You wrote "I will be trying as much as possible to have 150" ... do you WANT 150 guests or are you just trying to fill space? Honestly, if the top floor holds 300 and the bottom holds 650, I think 150 would feel empty-ish. Of course, crowding is definitely worse (which I don't think would be a problem for you), but I just don't know how many guests you're planning to (and wanting to) invite. Best of luck! 
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  • Most of the venues I saw in the Philly area had a standard 5-hour package for cocktail hour and the rest of the reception. Ceremony time was added to that. That seems to be a normal timeframe for my crowd.

    How long do you expect your ceremony to be?

    The timeframe I used for my first wedding was:
    7-7:30 ceremony
    7:30-8:30 cocktail hour
    8:30-12:30 dinner and dancing

    Also, check with the venue if this is a decision you need to make right now. Can you contract for the 5 hours and add another 1/2 hour or hour on later when you get closer and know your exact time frames? Or can you contract for times now with a note that you and the venue agree it's subject to change? I'm certain I didn't determine my final times for the wedding till much closer to the actual wedding date.
  • I am not 100% about being able to add additional time on the day of the wedding, although I do not see it being an issue because of how lenient the venue's "wedding planner" is. The downstairs ballroom will hold about 350, with an additional 300 available seats and tables for extra large events. The planner basically said if we have any less than about 130, the room can look a little empty, but we can adjust setting arrangements to make things look fuller. IE. instead of seating 8 per table, we can seat 5 or 6 per table to take up more space.
    We are planning on a very basic ceremony, just the necessary, non-religious.
    As for asking for help on setting up chairs, i would never ask my "guests" to do so, I was more talking along the lines of a few close friends and parents that would help, and mom even suggested it to avoid more cost. As we are able to go in the night before to set up an additional items. I am not 100% on if our "5 hour window" starts when the reception starts, or when the ceremony, I am assuming ceremony. I just wanted to get an idea on about how long everything will take, so I can potentially give her a heads up on how much extra time we will be needing.

    Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

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