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Dry wedding with a bar avaliable...

We are not paying for alcohol and personally could really do without. Most of my family will not drink and about half of his wont. We are having an alcohol free wedding. One problem. Our wedding is on a Saturday night and is at the American Leigon Post. This particular one is more like a club and gets rowdy enough on a Sat. night to keep me up! (we rent from them and live next door)

We will have no way from stopping people from going to the bar which is just in the next room and there is no way people will miss the fact that it is a bar. Is there anything we can do to make it not appear as a cash bar? I can't really tell people they aren't allowed to go and get a drink.

 To wrap this up. We cannot provide our own alcohol. This will not only get us removed from the Legion but get us evicted from our home we rent from them(this was in the contract).. We cannot afford the open bar and unfortunetly because of small amount of people who would drink it wouldn't be worth our while.

Advice?

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Re: Dry wedding with a bar avaliable...

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    It sounds like your preference is a dry reception, which you are having. If Uncle Bob slips next door and buys a scotch, I don't think you can stop him,but I also don't think anyone will have problems with your choice to have a dry reception. If they know you, they'll respect it.

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    Is the bar attached by way of an open doorway or a whole separate room with a closed, door, etc? I ask because the bar at our reception venue was a separate room but was connected by an open doorway to our ballroom and was seen as almost an extension of our room. Guests frequently migrated between both rooms and even hung out in the bar area sometimes. Though we did offer alcohol, I don't think there was a way to keep them from going in there had we wanted to.

    Will guests be getting water, soda, etc. from this bar also? If so, I would maybe put up a nice framed sign at the bar that says, "Please enjoy ____________ hosted by the bride and groom." Even if it is all non-alcoholic, that would get the message across that alcohol will not be hosted.


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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dry-wedding-with-a-bar-avaliable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:767aab68-b792-4ccb-8f46-521c32079575Post:27bdd49c-07dc-4743-a99d-58e2ee8bb2fa">Re: Dry wedding with a bar avaliable...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is the bar attached by way of an open doorway or a whole separate room with a closed, door, etc? I ask because the bar at our reception venue was a separate room but was connected by an open doorway to our ballroom and was seen as almost an extension of our room. Guests frequently migrated between both rooms and even hung out in the bar area sometimes. Though we did offer alcohol, I don't think there was a way to keep them from going in there had we wanted to. Will guests be getting water, soda, etc. from this bar also? If so, I would maybe put up a nice framed sign at the bar that says, "Please enjoy ____________ hosted by the bride and groom." Even if it is all non-alcoholic, that would get the message across that alcohol will not be hosted.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

    We get to provide anything non alcohol ourselves so there is no specific reason to go to the bar itself but yes it is like a double dorway that is open always. Nothing I can do. I think they respect the fact we wont pay for alcohol but I don't think they would decide not to buy it where it is indeed avaliable.
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    This is a tough one.  My first reaction was that there is nothing you can do in this case.   However, I wanted to ask you a few questions before I weigh in on it.

    Why did you select this venue knowing that you did not want to provide alcohol to your guests?

    Would the club allow you to close the doors between the bar and the party room?

    Would it be possible to purchase some kegs and wine from the club?

    Does the club restrict guest from taking drinks from the bar area into the party room?

    If you were offering open bar, how would the bartender distinguish between your guests and regular bar patrons?
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    The bar is only "available" if they leave the room your reception is in and enter another space, which is open to the public and will be used by other nonwedding people, correct? I think this is fine. Like hosting a dry reception in a hotel ballroom, and the hotel has a public bar open as well. If there's anything you can do visually to block the space off lighting, curtain, etc I'd try for that but really think you're fine.
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    I think you are fine.  Places like that have a liquor license and they are a fraternal organization out to make money.  You have done nothing wrong here.  You are choosing to have a dry wedding and providing for your guests.  Your guests have to step into another room to purchase alcohol from another bar and they know that.  Cross this off the list of what you should worry about.

    When my niece got married they went to a lovely venue that does weddings all the time.  They WILL NOT remove the bar.  Period.  If you have a dry wedding, the soda comes from the bar and if your guests want to purchase a mixed drink they can.  This is part of how they make money.

    With the 3 girls we have who are married we actually encountered this A LOT when visiting venues whether it was a banquet facility, golf course/country club, hotel, fraternal organization, etc.  Most of them refused to remove the bars and would only agree to post a sign regarding what was complimentary from the bride and groom.  We ended up choosing venues where we could bring in the caterer of our choice and a licensed/bonded bartender and our own liquor.

    We come down pretty hard on brides who come here and ask what to do with the bar if they are only offering beer/wine.  Come to think of it, I can't remember any of the venues we visited who would have removed the liquor from the bar in order to only do beer and wine.

    With that comes a question for the knottie regs:  Did any of you have your weddings at venues that agreed to remove the alcohol and only offer free beer and/or wine?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dry-wedding-with-a-bar-avaliable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:767aab68-b792-4ccb-8f46-521c32079575Post:1c66b552-1556-4b2c-98eb-d3fb0105eda4">Re: Dry wedding with a bar avaliable...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you are fine.  Places like that have a liquor license and they are a fraternal organization out to make money.  You have done nothing wrong here.  You are choosing to have a dry wedding and providing for your guests.  Your guests have to step into another room to purchase alcohol from another bar and they know that.  Cross this off the list of what you should worry about. When my niece got married they went to a lovely venue that does weddings all the time.  They WILL NOT remove the bar.  Period.  If you have a dry wedding, the soda comes from the bar and if your guests want to purchase a mixed drink they can.  This is part of how they make money. With the 3 girls we have who are married we actually encountered this A LOT when visiting venues whether it was a banquet facility, golf course/country club, hotel, fraternal organization, etc.  Most of them refused to remove the bars and would only agree to post a sign regarding what was complimentary from the bride and groom.  We ended up choosing venues where we could bring in the caterer of our choice and a licensed/bonded bartender and our own liquor. We come down pretty hard on brides who come here and ask what to do with the bar if they are only offering beer/wine.  Come to think of it, I can't remember any of the venues we visited who would have removed the liquor from the bar in order to only do beer and wine. With that comes a question for the knottie regs:  Did any of you have your weddings at venues that agreed to remove the alcohol and only offer free beer and/or wine?
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]


    I wasn't implying that OP is doing anything wrong at all.  I just had questions before offering advice.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dry-wedding-with-a-bar-avaliable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:767aab68-b792-4ccb-8f46-521c32079575Post:724fa44d-0623-4a06-9a06-c7aacb201cb7">Re: Dry wedding with a bar avaliable...</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is a tough one.  My first reaction was that there is nothing you can do in this case.   However, I wanted to ask you a few questions before I weigh in on it. Why did you select this venue knowing that you did not want to provide alcohol to your guests? Would the club allow you to close the doors between the bar and the party room? Would it be possible to purchase some kegs and wine from the club? Does the club restrict guest from taking drinks from the bar area into the party room? If you were offering open bar, how would the bartender distinguish between your guests and regular bar patrons?
    Posted by happyfor25[/QUOTE]

    We are using this venue because they offered us half price and we are close with the man who is on the rental end of things. Also we could have the outside feild and the inside rental which makes our reception and ceremony in one place. We hadn't thought out the alcohol.

    No doors to close. I suppose we could hang a curtian but that wouldn't stop people who wanted to go out and get a drink from getting one.

    Full open bar or nothing. There are no other options.

    I have know idea how they would distinguish.
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    Thank you everyone for the advice. I suppose there is realisticly nothing we can do and I am sure some people will be happier knowing they can duck out and buy a beer than to go without haha. Nobody will be offended if they do but I don't want them to be offended that we are not providing it. We have been very open that we are not having alcohol and when they ask FI about the bar there he says "the bar is in a seperate area of the building and you can if you would like"
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dry-wedding-with-a-bar-avaliable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:767aab68-b792-4ccb-8f46-521c32079575Post:ce764ee2-ca80-4cd5-a90d-bcf97f3adec3">Re: Dry wedding with a bar avaliable...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dry wedding with a bar avaliable... : We are using this venue because they offered us half price and we are close with the man who is on the rental end of things. Also we could have the outside feild and the inside rental which makes our reception and ceremony in one place. We hadn't thought out the alcohol. No doors to close. I suppose we could hang a curtian but that wouldn't stop people who wanted to go out and get a drink from getting one. Full open bar or nothing. There are no other options. I have know idea how they would distinguish.
    Posted by alyssaames[/QUOTE

    Thanks for the responses.  It sounds like a great deal and I would have jumped on it too!  I would have to agree that you are in the clear in this case.  As long as you are providing your guests with several non-alcoholic drink options, it seems that you are hosting them properly.  It might be a good idea to explore some type of curtain or something even if to provide privacy for your party from the "rowdy" crowd at the bar!
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    I don't think it's a big deal.  I would go next door and buy myself a beer or a glass of wine though.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dry-wedding-with-a-bar-avaliable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:767aab68-b792-4ccb-8f46-521c32079575Post:12086388-5e93-4090-b69a-3e96013f4db8">Re: Dry wedding with a bar avaliable...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think it's a big deal.  I would go next door and buy myself a beer or a glass of wine though.
    Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]

    I wouldn't blame you!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dry-wedding-with-a-bar-avaliable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:767aab68-b792-4ccb-8f46-521c32079575Post:1c66b552-1556-4b2c-98eb-d3fb0105eda4">Re: Dry wedding with a bar avaliable...</a>:
    [QUOTE] With that comes a question for the knottie regs:  Did any of you have your weddings at venues that agreed to remove the alcohol and only offer free beer and/or wine?
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    <div>All the venues we visited had different alcohol packages: beer/wine only, full open bar, top shelf open bar, etc. They only put out what we paid for. But we didn't look at any golf clubs/legions/etc that have a bar open to the public, These were all private event spaces. </div><div>
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