Etiquette

What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?

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Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?

  • The only thing I flame here is your inability to spell a word that is the name of the board.

    etiquette

    You may now write it 100 times until you get it right
  • the only rule I'm breaking is having a cash bar - the bar is separate from the hall and the ones who need to drink must take cash/ debit because I am not paying for them to get drunk! If they know they have to pay to drink...the less likely they are to get drunk. I'm just sayin'
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  • We are having a gap between the ceremony and reception. In our defense, it can't be controlled. We are having a church wedding and the church I grew up in only does weddings at 2pm on Saturdays. The venue we fell in love with only does a 6 affair starting at 6pm. Although we could have found a different venue, this one is perfect and we could not find anything close to it. To make it easier on our guests (most are OOT flying in Friday and staying till Sunday) we will have a shuttle to take them from the hotel to the church, then back to the hotel where we will have a hospitality suite, and then to the reception.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:be0e4739-d5a2-4ebe-a966-7ccbaca8cff0">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]the only rule I'm breaking is having a cash bar - the bar is separate from the hall and the ones who need to drink must take cash/ debit because I am not paying for them to get drunk! <strong>If they know they have to pay to drink...the less likely they are to get drunk.</strong> I'm just sayin'
    Posted by lililuvsrocky[/QUOTE]

    <div>this is so completely untrue and just an excuse for being a poor host. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>as far as i know we're not breaking any major rules. we printed directly on the invitation envelopes instead of handwriting, but i was afraid with our handwriting that the invites would never get there lol. other than that one, i think we're doing okay. </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:be0e4739-d5a2-4ebe-a966-7ccbaca8cff0">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]the only rule I'm breaking is having a cash bar - the bar is separate from the hall and the ones who need to drink must take cash/ debit because I am not paying for them to get drunk! If they know they have to pay to drink...the less likely they are to get drunk. I'm just sayin'
    Posted by lililuvsrocky[/QUOTE]
    Bull. The people who are hell bent on getting drunk will get drunk, even if they have to pay for it. People who really like booze (me) aren't as cheap as you think.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:be0e4739-d5a2-4ebe-a966-7ccbaca8cff0">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]the only rule I'm breaking is having a cash bar - the bar is separate from the hall and the ones who need to drink must take cash/ debit because I am not paying for them to get drunk! <strong>If they know they have to pay to drink...the less likely they are to get drunk. I'm just sayin'</strong>
    Posted by lililuvsrocky[/QUOTE]
    Eh, not really.  I would get drunk regardless if you're paying or if I'm paying.  Just sayin'<div>I am happily paying for my guests to get drunk.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:be0e4739-d5a2-4ebe-a966-7ccbaca8cff0">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]the only rule I'm breaking is having a cash bar - the bar is separate from the hall and the ones who need to drink must take cash/ debit because I am not paying for them to get drunk! If they know they have to pay to drink...the less likely they are to get drunk. I'm just sayin'
    Posted by lililuvsrocky[/QUOTE]


    so not true!
  • We are breaking a few rules.  Friday night wedding, limited open bar and a honeymoon registry (in addition to a Macy's registry).  These were results of budget concerns and personal preferences that we don't feel cause any discomfort or concern to our guests.

  • LC- I have been to a couple of weddings at Nottaway, and they were beautiful. I'm glad you have a location and everything now.

    I don't think I am breaking any etiquette rules, I pretty much have "Emily Post" for a mother, so we have been very etiquette conscious. I think there are some small rules that can be fudged, such as invitation wording, handwriting, but other rules such as gaps, not making guests pay for anything, etc... Should not be messed with.
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  • LC, that's gorgeous!

    And does anyone else NOT care if their guests get drunk? Drunk guests = fun guests!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:be0e4739-d5a2-4ebe-a966-7ccbaca8cff0">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]the only rule I'm breaking is having a cash bar - the bar is separate from the hall and the ones who need to drink must take cash/ debit because I am not paying for them to get drunk! If they know they have to pay to drink...the less likely they are to get drunk. I'm just sayin'
    <p>Posted by lililuvsrocky[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>Why on earth is this a good thing?</p><p>Hello, you're throwing the greatest party of your life. IMO, all great parties require copious amounts of alcohol.</p><p> </p><p>Remind me not to come to any of your parties!</p>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:495b20d2-633b-4503-b0b9-e146c48b881e">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]LC, that's gorgeous! <strong>And does anyone else NOT care if their guests get drunk? Drunk guests = fun guests!</strong>
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    Exactly! As long as everyone is having a good time, who cares if they all get drunk enjoying the open bar!
    September 2011 November Siggy Challenge: First Dance Photo (I still haven't uploaded all of my wedding pictures, so here's a picture of what happens when you mix me, my bridesmaids, a man who hates to dance, and an open bar). imageimage

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  • I'm printing the addresses, but handwriting the interior envelopes. 

    We're only sending one invitation per family home.  If they're over 18, but still living at home, I'm not sending another invitation just for them.  We're not doing +1, so I just don't see the point.

    We're not having any alcohol at our hotel reception.  It is a personal conviction for FI and me, but when I was 16, before I had those convictions, I watched my grandparents get drunk and do the Chicken Dance at my Aunt & Uncle's wedding...that's when I decided there would not be a drop of alcohol at my reception.  (And we're doing jazz music...no Chicken Dances, Macarenas, "Slides" of any kind, etc.)
  • I have a smallish gap and my reception site is about 30 minutes away with no traffic. With traffic, could be an hour. Ceremony is at 4:00 in my town. Reception is in Highlandtown (Greektown in Baltimore city). The "gap" is generous to allow enough time for people to get there and for us to take a  couple of post-ceremony pictures. We're doing most of our pics before the ceremony. There will be a cocktail hour pretty much when people begin showing up, so people can start drinking and enjoying apps.

    I'm printing my envelopes because I saw a design in the Vera Wang Weddings album and really liked it. So I copied it.

    I think that's it. I am trying to follow all the rules as closely as possible. FI keeps begging for a B list. We haven't sent our invitations yet, but by then, we'll know if we can invite the 10 extra people he wants for the "b list" without waiting for declines.
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  • klynn86klynn86 member
    1000 Comments
    edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:495b20d2-633b-4503-b0b9-e146c48b881e">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]LC, that's gorgeous! And does anyone else NOT care if their guests get drunk? Drunk guests = fun guests!
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    My money is on the majority of our guests being drunk and I do not care in the slightest, that's when it's fun!

    We're having a cash bar (it's the norm around here), but our cocktail hour is open bar (and is 1.5 hours) and there will be 2 big bottles of wine on each table.

    I also didn't handwrite my envelopes (I actually think I would be breaking etiquette if I had because it would look awful and be illegible).

    Last thing, I'm having a head table, which I didn't know was breaking rules until I got on TK.  Again, it's the norm here, and did talk to my WP and asked if they would like sweethearts as an option, but they had never heard of them and actually wanted to go with the headtable because it's what people do around "these parts"!
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  • I'm giving my BM jewelry for the wedding day...but I also got them other gifts.

    Other than that...I don't think we're breaking any etiquette.  My mom is super anal when it comes to proper etiquette.  We have an open bar, no gap, all singles over 18 get a +1, no registry info on invites, handwritten envelopes, no $ dance, no HM registry, umm...I can't think of anything else.
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  •  I am doing a cash bar.  (I am putting 2 bottles of wine on every table).  Dad's paying and doesn't want the liability of drunk drivers, and I am not going to bother arguing any different with him.  Especially since its socially acceptable in this area.
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  • -handwriting invites
    -no champagne toast
    -no favors
    -gap to allow for travel
    -$ dance

    some are just 'tradition' breaking.

  • lol thats awesome.
  • I agree, I want my wedding to be the one where my friends were the drunkest :)
  • My fiancee and I don't drink so we are only having a cash bar at the ceremony. Another 'rule' we are breaking is that we are going to put our registry info on our save the dates.
  • I will be breaking a few....

    -Only 60 people at the actual ceremony, but 150 at the reception.  We just feel the ceremony should be for our nearest and dearest.
    -Two and a half hour gap between the ceremony and the reception so we can travel the city to take pictures.
    -There's an open bar, but a limited supply of alcohol. We will be having other drinks.

    Some of my decisions were etiquette breakers, per se.  But my guests may or may not like them and I really don't care. My FI and I are paying for this!

  • I would be cautious about cash bars and/or  dry weddings.  I went to a wedding that had only champagne.....  Let me tell you there were 200 hundred people there and that hall was cleared out by the end of her first dance with the groom.  I was amazed.  I felt so bad for her!!!!
  • I'm not hand writing my invitation envelopes and I'm having a 1 1/2 hour gap between the ceremony and the reception.  The church wouldn't budge with their time and neither would the reception hall.  Too bad.  

    It's an afternoon reception (12-4) so I don't think that having a wine, beer, and mimosa open bar is inappropriate or bad etiquette.  I hope not!  lol.
  • I think I have broken every ettigueette rule. Im sorry but this is OUR wedding not YOUR wedding. It is to make us happy and celebrate our love. So I am doing what makes us happy. We rented a hall that allows outside food and drinks. So we are buying kegs and liquor and charging 1.00 for each drink. For food we have a friend that is a caterer and he volinteered to help (not cater ) the event so were buying stuff for a deli buffet. Everything in this wedding reflects the way we are  not the way we are supposed to be. We have shot glass favors and beer mugs instead of champane glasses.... We may offend a few people with our views but hey why should we act like people who we are not the day we get married just to make other people happy?
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  • We are having a cash bar. First of all because it's what we can afford and second of all because with my extended family a cash bar would not be a smart thing. Sorry for the inconvenience, don't be drunks. I'm also planning on hand writting my envelopes which I didn't even know was an ettiquette blunder but on the bright side my caligraphy isn't horrid ;) Other than that I think we are ok.
  • WTF. I have no idea how my reply ended up here. Sorry.
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  • We're not having a bar at all, my family doesn't drink and I've invited a few ex alcoholics. and I'm actually making jewelry for all my bridesmaids, or I'm getting the beads and my sister is making them.
  • melryan1224melryan1224 member
    First Comment
    edited June 2010
    HAHAHA! I love this post. I think I probably have broken most of the "RULES". It is your wedding ladies and I don't really believe in all these silly rules..

    Let's see I am getting earrings from etsy for each of the 6 BMs and I got them some random gifts like ice tea kits from Tea Forte and I am also doing a surprise painting for each of them. I didn't even buy myself a new pair of earrings but thought it would be cute if they matched. I left the necklace up to them. I dont care what shoes they wear (the dresses are long even though the wedding is July 10) and I dont care how they do their hair just as long as it isnt like mine (a side loose chignon).
    OTHER SO-CALLED RULE BREAKERS:
    I am wearing a feather flower from etsy.. no veils here.

    I am wearing multi-colored heels because I love color and as far as I am concerned it matched my bouquet. This definitely upset some grandmothers.

    Our first dance is to Fat Boy Slim, Wonderful Night, so it will probably upset some aunt somewhere, but it is our choice and we love it.

    NO champagne, but yes a  toast with whatever drink you have. Only beer and wine and soda, with the option to purchase liquor.

    1 hour gap in between though the reception is a 20-30 minute drive.

    No parking lot at the reception, you must use side streets... hmm could be an issue.

    I'll have to post again later when I have more time. I guess I just don't understand who commands all of these so-called rules. I have never been one to follow rules, & frankly it will cause you more stress, cost you more money, and probably make your wedding more boring and standard in the long run.

    Forgive how opinionated I am on this issue. :)
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