Etiquette

What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?

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Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?

  • I don't think we are gloating I think we are just saying this is what we are doing so you can compare. I feel bad that I am making my guests fly across the country but at the same time I kind of don't care because it's our special day.
  • Wow.. that was a really uncalled for post.  Unbelieveable.  You know, some folks don't have money coming out their ears to pay for certian things.  What is important to YOU is obviously not what was important to that bride.  
    YOU broke the rule of this blog.  YOU bashed someone for being honest.  I pitty you and your narrow minded attitude and hope the person hoasting this blog dismisses your post and you for breaking the rule they kindly asked you not to break.  How dare you comment on how people dress.. that has NOTHING to do with this blog! 
  • Lmao. We are doing a cash bar, because we are not made of money, as well. I flip and flop between this being poor manners and not poor manners. We are doing a champagne toast, and feel that after the first flute, uncles Rick and Bob can pay for their PBR.

    And, of course, kicking our guests out mid-way through to make sure we have leftover cake.
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  • I think cocktail receptions are fabulous! Our reception is going to be really basic: bread, meat, cheese, veggies, etc...then delicious wedding cake! We would rather make it more of a social than a "let me feed you," affair, which is just too damn expensive!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:6f8f9a3d-72f5-4760-9f2c-f34ede42514a">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I scares me how many people actually sound PROUD of the rules they are breaking. I mean, I get that not every one cares about everything, but to gloat over it when you are probably really inconveniencing your guests just makes me frowny.
    Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

    I agree.  I'm not sure why someone would come on the Ettiquette board to bitch about having to follow ettiquette, or even worse, brag about not doing so.

    You are supposed to be throwing a party for your <em>guests.</em>
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  • We will have a big gap from the ceremony time and reception start as well and actually struggling for things for our guests to do.  Our reception site is roughly 30-45 min (depending on traffic) from the church.

    We have been playing around with the idea of making slide show of myself and my fiance with pictures of us together as well as when we were growing up.  We are having an open bar.  No champagne toast, but a toast nonetheless.  And during the down time, a few friends that are not in the wedding party will help guests find their tables, get settled in and sign the guest book (which is going to be similar to a scrap book with pictures of us and a few pages to sign their names and best wishes).
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:da6eb5d0-08af-4fb4-b24c-ea8a8cc63fa0">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? :  You are supposed to be throwing a party for your guests.
    Posted by kittykaz[/QUOTE]

    Um, I TOTALLY disagree!  The wedding is YOUR day-- it's a celebration between two people for themselves, that that may want to share with family and friends.  The party is for you.

    I'm not up to speed on the 'etiquette' (every time I come to the Knot I hear something else I had no idea existed).  Some things we are doing that I think may be out of the 'norm' are:

    1) Asking for money instead of gifts (half of our guests are flying over to Virginia from the Netherlands--where we live-- and here it's not normal to have a registry, and totally normal to ask for $$)  Tacky?  Not where we live!
    2) Having an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbin's instead of a 'traditional' wedding cake (yumm, it's my favourite!)
    3) Taking pictures before the wedding
    4) Asking friends/family to take pictures and send them to us.  We've hired a photographer for the first 4 hours, but after that we're hoping to get pics from friends/family

    We are having a champagne toast and an open bar (we're buying all the alcohol ourselves to make it cheaper), but I'm bringing a special bottle of sparkling strawberry wine for the toast which only I will be drinking (because it's expensive, and it's my favourite, so only I'm drinking it).  Otherwise, I think everything else is pretty normal/standard...
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  • Majority of my family doesn't drink and only a handful of our friends do.. So we're having a cash bar.  I feel a bit bad about it but it is what its.  I'm trying to get at least the cocktail hour covered.. but who knows.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:63a6f304-00ca-42e1-8ec5-722ceb5beadd">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE] I'm including "No children" or"Adults only" (haven't decided which yet) and "semi-formal attire requested" on the invitations.  I hate children, and I don't want any at my wedding.  I know most people say to trust your guests to know that only the people whose names are listed on the invitation are invited, but I don't.  I don't want anyone assuming it's ok to just bring their toddlers.  Posted by chiwawa[/QUOTE]

    <div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">I am not inviting children. They can be a real day ruiner IMO. Well, okay, not so much just the kids but the lack of parenting that comes along with large parties... I swear some parents think it's free reign to just let them go wild.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><span style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;font-family:Arial;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><span style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;font-family:Arial;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" class="Apple-style-span">I don't have any, I don't want any and most of my friends are the same way. On my invitation I included "Adult Reception to Follow". </span></div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><span style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;font-family:Arial;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" class="Apple-style-span">I also didn't include a spot for number of guests... I've made it clear that if the name is not on the envelope, they're not invited. I can invite 25 of my single friends with a plus one I've never met, or I can invite 50 of the people I love! It was a no-brainer and many of my friends were happy not to have to find that 'awkward wedding date'.</span></div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><font face="Arial" size="3" style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></font></div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><font face="Arial" size="3" style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" class="Apple-style-span">I still cannot believe someone would think it all right to wear jeans to a wedding, although I've seen it too... *headdesk*</span></font></div></span></div>
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  • Well, we are having a ceremony, reception (for the frufru stuff), then on to the after party.

    The ceremony and reception will be held at the same place and we will have finger food and champaign, soda, tea, water, and coffee only.

    At the after party we are going to party down with a live band (80 yr old grandmother will be playing the fiddle), food, and drink.

    Not sure if that is breaking ettiquette and I am not sure if I really care.  This day is about me and my FI starting a new life together as husband and wife and we are deciding how the day is going to be.
  • I was forced to revoke the title of Maid of Honor from my future sister-in-law because not only was she saying very rude things about me to my fiance, but she also decided to go and post naked pictures of herself all over facebook. My family is very conservative, and I'd rather not have her interacting with my grandparents! I know it is a big no-no to do that, but there is no way that I want to have her by my side when I say my I do's!
  • We are doing things a little out of the ordinary....

    1. We're having a reception just for family and CLOSE friends at 6...we're providing them food, beer, wine, and music...but just can't afford it for everyone in #2
    2.  B/C I work in the church & my FI is a life-long member at our home church, we're having an open ceremony (anyone from the church who rsvps can come) followed by a cake reception.

    I think sometimes you have to do what works best for you!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:7b204985-4a72-4bfc-b5c3-48c2887fe68c">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
    [QUOTE] I am jealous. Irish food and beer= the best ever.
    Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

    Seriously?!  I guess if you like white food it's the best ever!  The beer I agree on, but Irish and British food is not what one might call haute cuisine...chips and peas with everything. ;)
  • I had a shower where the majority of the guests at the shower were not invited to the wedding. they were my MIL's church friends, and they wanted to throw me a shower. it would have hurt MIL's feelings for me  to refuse, even though I wanted to. I only accepted on the condition that I cannot invite any more people and she said that was fine and "they're my friends and they just wanted to do a nice thing for you."

    ****of course, about a week or two after the shower, she goes through DH and tells him to make and send invitations to this list of people (about 10 couples), completely ignoring me in all that. as soon as I found out, I told DH that this was the reason I didn't want the shower in the first place. *head bang on desk*
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  • I'm inviting a few people to the shower and not the wedding but one is 100 and the other in 80 and then can make it the 5 min to the shower and I don't want them to think they have to make it the 3 hours to the wedding. But also I'm doing what grandma wants on this one and you don't cross your grandparents.
  • for right now, i am not planning on having a seating chart. there will be plenty of tables and i'm not going to force people to sit where i say they sit. the only ones who will have designated tables are the immediate family and the bridal party. plus, this takes one less thing off my "to-do" list!Laughing
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  • I'm not having a seating chart as well, for the same reasons!
    And I'm not renting a car to drive me from the beauty saloon to church or giving gifts or flip-flops to guests (very common things here in Brazil)

  • I confess! I'm guilty!  I printed labels for invitations!  And I'm being cheap and only serving beer, wine, and champagne.  And not even the expensive stuff!  My guests will drink Arbor Mist and they will like it!  lol
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