My "friends" need the etiquette board!

althea1016

Yesterday, I received a wedding invitation where the couple asked for cash on the invitation! The one had the nerve to say "black tie affair"! This is the 2nd one I've received like that this year! Both were from people I haven't spoken to in years so it begs the question "You sent me an invite to get cash?" We're not attending either wedding because of scheduling issues...mainly only hearing about these wedding which are on the west coast when we live in New York 5-6 weeks before the date...and we just got married two weeks ago. Anyways, unvitations are annoying but begging for cash is just rude and tacky! 

And, end vent...

Stackeye210

People can be gross! 

jessshirey

Sounds like you might of been on the B list. And that's so rude to ask for cash!

danieliza1127

Asking for cash is rude! 

But I thought saying "Black Tie" on an invitation was appropriate.  What's wrong with that?

ShanaFry

hahahaha...I wouldn't know how to react to an invite like that! Let's not kid ourselves cash is nice but seriously who would write that on the invitation! Class-less. I have however been looking into registering for honeymoon activities. It's an easy way for your guests to pay for watersports or spa stuff while you're on your honeymoon, but still can't decide the appropriate way to go about it!

althea1016

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friends-need-etiquette-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76dc418f-697c-4497-9e49-2662d6a29bb6Post:8816a8d2-f7a0-42b1-9654-d130f5d1b2e5">Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board!</a>:
[QUOTE]Asking for cash is rude!  But I thought saying "Black Tie" on an invitation was appropriate.  What's wrong with that?
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

<div>Black tie is fine...black tie and gimme money? No way!</div>

althea1016

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friends-need-etiquette-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76dc418f-697c-4497-9e49-2662d6a29bb6Post:f0e40d09-6698-45d8-8db8-2c45c3a9b2b6">Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board!</a>:
[QUOTE]Sounds like you might of been on the B list. And that's so rude to ask for cash!
Posted by jessshirey[/QUOTE]

<div>Clearly on the B list! Hey it happens...but I don't get why we were on any list at all! Literally haven't spoken to these people in over 3 years...</div>

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friends-need-etiquette-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76dc418f-697c-4497-9e49-2662d6a29bb6Post:ca6eb3b6-2c5b-412f-9fce-9eee182ae55d">Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board! : Black tie is fine...black tie and gimme money? No way!
Posted by althea1016[/QUOTE]

Oh, I must have read it wrong.

althea1016

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friends-need-etiquette-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76dc418f-697c-4497-9e49-2662d6a29bb6Post:fd39c7b2-b7f6-4cda-8b1f-a5a1bc3a7530">Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board!</a>:
[QUOTE]hahahaha...I wouldn't know how to react to an invite like that! Let's not kid ourselves cash is nice but seriously who would write that on the invitation! Class-less. I have however been looking into registering for honeymoon activities. It's an easy way for your guests to pay for watersports or spa stuff while you're on your honeymoon, but still can't decide the appropriate way to go about it!
Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]

<div>Put a link to your wedding website in the invitations so guests can have access to the hotel, directions and your registry. If its on the website, that's not so bad. Also try to have your families and bridal party get that info out. Good luck!</div>

jnic0319

Asking for cash is incredibly rude.  I would not send a gift, but I'm like that.

As for the black tie thing, I see that very often and have never had a problem with it.

budvar1012

Wow, an out and out GIVE US SOME MONEY invitation.
 
I'd write back that I can't attend due to how I will be too busy with my new baseball shooting machine, except that since I'm filthy rich, mine shoots baseball sized diamonds. Into my man-made lake I had dug into my backyard  especially for that purpose.  Then I'd tell them that i also have terrible allergies preventing me from travelling, but luckily I have enough Rembrandts and Van Goghs around to blow my nose on because I  AM LOADED TO THE GILLS WITH FREE MONEY I CAN'T WASTE FAST ENOUGH.
Yeesh, what a pair of classless money grubbers

jnic0319

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friends-need-etiquette-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76dc418f-697c-4497-9e49-2662d6a29bb6Post:b9eb28a3-7900-4ba4-8e96-ba0e8218e89f">Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board! : Oh, I must have read it wrong.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]


yeah me too, I thought they were 2 seperate invites?

AdeleDazeem

I feel like if this affair was truly black tie, they wouldn't be so idiotic as to put "gimme money" on the invite. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Uh, yeah, if it's black tie and they need to ask for money, they're doing it wrong.

What was the actual wording?

mysticl

Putting Black Tie on an invite isn't a problem at all.  But a Black Tie affair indicates a certain (high) level of class.  A level of class that would never be so rude as to even mention getting gifts let alone asking for cash.  The registery information would be discretely distributed by the family and close friends. 

kd.joseph

I think I'd have to tape a dollar to the RSVP with a no we will not be attending your "black tie" event.

nicole loves chris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friends-need-etiquette-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76dc418f-697c-4497-9e49-2662d6a29bb6Post:183c7c8b-92af-4727-b344-8c40b342d3df">Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think I'd have to tape a dollar to the RSVP with a no we will not be attending your "black tie" event.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]


Ha! That's perfect. I would probably do the exact same thing. How tacky!

sweetpea6603

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friends-need-etiquette-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76dc418f-697c-4497-9e49-2662d6a29bb6Post:8a48372a-02be-4b6d-ba8f-0575e826ebbb">Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board! : Clearly on the B list! Hey it happens...but I don't get why we were on any list at all! Literally haven't spoken to these people in over 3 years...
Posted by althea1016[/QUOTE]

<div>To fill the venue so they get more cash of course! This to me is ridiculous. I know most guests bring cash to weddings anyway, but that is their choice. Don't ask for it!</div>

526SadieSadie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friends-need-etiquette-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76dc418f-697c-4497-9e49-2662d6a29bb6Post:8816a8d2-f7a0-42b1-9654-d130f5d1b2e5">Re: My "friends" need the etiquette board!</a>:
[QUOTE]Asking for cash is rude!  But I thought saying "Black Tie" on an invitation was appropriate.  What's wrong with that?
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

Black tie, to me, means men in tuxedos and women in floor length gowns.  There's a big difference between a "black tie" event and a "formal" event.  In the latter, a suit and/or a fancy dress (but not a gown) is the appropriate attire.

stephdonjon

The black tie part, if written tastefully and discreetly, is fine. Some venues have a dress code, so it's necessarily.

But outright asking for money on the invite like that? Horrible form!