Wedding Etiquette Forum

Walking a Fine Line....

..Between sanity and wedding-obsessed.  I'm not seeking out validation, but if someone has the urge to throw in a "No big deal" or "no one will notice,"  my anxiety would really appreciate it.  Ha!

My FI's great-aunt generously offered to hand-address our wedding invitations for us.  We have received many cards from her in the past and she seemed to have nice penmanship.  She made it sound like she had done these types of things before, she lives in town and it would be easiest - she is retired and said she had plenty of time.

Long story short, the invitations look ok.  Not great, but not terrible.  It's very normal, like if someone was sending you a letter or something.  The various address lines are slightly crooked, the addresses are somewhat off-center, and some look a little rugged.  My Fi and I noticed this together the other night and initially laughed a little.  (Of course we thanked her and never suggested this wasn't anything but perfect)

The thing is, I don't really want to care, and I definitely don't want to do them again, but for some reason, I am kind of stuck a little in the back of my mind.  Part of it is because my mother who has amazing penmanship and can do calligraphy, offered to do our invites as well, but she is generally unreliable and lives 6 hours out of town.  Part of my hangup I think is because we didn't  give specific instructions so its like we set ourselves up for failure, but then again, it seemed a little elementary to talk about how to properly address an envelope.

Has this happened to anyone else?  We didn't spend a TON on invites, but they weren't free, and I catch myself concerned that the formal look has been reduced a little. Help me get over this otherwise trivial item?  Remind me it was really kind and generous of her and  this is something to laugh about in a few years?

Thanks!

Re: Walking a Fine Line....

  • NBD, no big deal. What is done is done and since the hand addressing was a gift from her I wouldn't redo it or complain about it to anyone. Just think all the time she saved you from having to do it yoyrselves or the money she saved you from having to pay someone to do it.
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  • I hand addressed mine, and they were not at all perfect or gorgeous, but I got a ton of compliments--many people said they were so impressed that I hand addressed them all, and that they looked great (even though they really didn't look all that great, I promise).

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_walking-a-fine-line?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:773a61d8-8f03-4748-bf0d-f15b962f7b3aPost:44cec93f-042d-4a6f-8515-61c60e5f4650">Walking a Fine Line....</a>:
    [QUOTE]. Remind me it was really kind and generous of her and  this is something to laugh about in a few years? Thanks!
    Posted by cbvcru67[/QUOTE]

    Yes, this. Five or ten years from now, NO ONE will remember this. Better yet, even now, NO ONE will notice. Or, if they do, they are not people whose opinions you need to care about.

    There were a lot of things that I wanted to control and make perfect about my wedding that I had to let go. But you know what? The wedding I had was fantastic. It was perfect, in ways I could never have predicted. And the invitations - no one even remembered those.
    Anniversary
  • Thanks guys, that is just what I needed to hear.  She was so pleased to take on a large task for us, I wouldn't really re-do them . (Not that wedding jobs are cool,  but for her personally, I think she is that age where you aren't sure you are needed anymore, and its nice to be reminded that you are.)  I do appreciate hearing that its nothing to be concerned about. Already feeling more normal (and less crazy bride)!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_walking-a-fine-line?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:773a61d8-8f03-4748-bf0d-f15b962f7b3aPost:d06f139c-d43b-4116-a497-640982f6d069">Re: Walking a Fine Line....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I hand addressed mine, and they were not at all perfect or gorgeous, but I got a ton of compliments--many people said they were so impressed that I hand addressed them all, and that they looked great (even though they really didn't look all that great, I promise).
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    I addressed them myself as well.  Its about the effort and attempt not so much about the beauty of it.  Its just an envelope anyway.  We had a semi-formal wedding (which really was just a regular dressy wedding).  My BIL/SIL had a formal wedding (tuxes for all) and I addressed those invitations too. 

    All being said, I do expect and notice when envelope/invitation etiquette is not correct (abbreviations, etc).  We received an invitation that said "CC" for country club on.the.invitation!!!! 
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  • No biggie! You are just succumbing to a little bit of wedding insanity, which is to be expected and also NBD.

    Send 'em out. And check that off your list! It'll be fine!
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  • I agree with pps, of course. Also, since you mentioned this in your OP, I personally wouldn't judge the formality of a person's wedding based on the penmanship of the envelope, especially if I knew your grandmother addressed them.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_walking-a-fine-line?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:773a61d8-8f03-4748-bf0d-f15b962f7b3aPost:a059ac87-5d2c-416f-8ca0-a6640660afe2">Re:Walking a Fine Line....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I addressed our invites and they looked HORRIBLE. Truly bad. And it was fine.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Me too.  I have so-so penmanship, and mine were AT BEST legible.  But it was obvious that I took the time to do them by hand, and I think that matters a lot.  I kind of cringe when I see lables on wedding invitations....</div><div>
    </div><div>It was really nice of her to do them for you, and it saved you the time (and hand cramps) of doing them yourself.  Check it off your list, and call it good:-)

    </div>
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  • hoffsehoffse member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    I was gonna say... in the age where so many brides print off address labels to address their envelopes, I think any hand-written invitation looks nice.  It's the way it's supposed to be done, and it doesn't have to be in perfect calligraphy.
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  • My penmanship is nice, but I can't write in a straight line to save my life. Our invites, like our STD's will be sort of wonky. But they'll be hand addressed, and that's all that matters, agreeing with others not to stress about it, it's FINE! :)
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