Bridal Party gifts. Are they a must?

Star1324

We had full intentions of getting out party gifts but unfortunately we have hit a financial bind. Recently my FI has lost his job due to a poor economy and have been hit with a lot of medical bills that needed to be paid off asap. Leaving us on a tight budget with less then a month away from the wedding. 

So would it be awful if we did not get them something due to the

circumstances? We feel awful but it just does not seem like we can fit that in right now. 

laurenclaire1386

Just don't get them bridles. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridle

sarabellam

Say what you want, LC, but both of my bridesmaidswould have LOVED getting bridles. Matching saddles, too.

kimheartsscott

I was really hoping this would be a question about horse-themed showers.  Sad.

laurenclaire1386

I both of you.

SparrowSong

You know your horses, I mean bridesmaids, better than we do.

If you don't do something now, I'd plan to do something nice for them in the next few months. A nice gift certificate to a restaurant or something. Maybe for now just give them a card with a really personal message about how much their friendship means to you. You can be genuine and appreciative without spending a lot of money.

michaelandjulie2

You could get them something small, like a $5 gift card to Starbucks.

sarabellam

Smart-ass answers aside OP, yes bridal party gifts are a must. They don't have to be expensive, but thoughful and meaningful gifts don't always cost a lot.

Brie2010

If you can't afford a gift, at the very least, write them a heartfelt, thoughtful thank-you note for them being in the wedding.

tidetravel

DItto Sara.  Gift's don't have to be expensive to be great gifts. 

I'd figure out what else you could cut, so that you have enough money to properly thank your WP members (who, presumably, spent a good chunk of money on your wedding.)

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridle-party-gifts-must?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:776174fa-595c-4ade-9fb0-a25b4dc3bacbPost:04507a05-379a-43db-9d68-ab7f83eaa1e7">Re: Bridle Party gifts. Are they a must?</a>:
[QUOTE]You could get them something small, like a $5 gift card to Starbucks.
Posted by michaelandjulie2[/QUOTE]
Does $5 even get you anything at Starbucks? 

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridle-party-gifts-must?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:776174fa-595c-4ade-9fb0-a25b4dc3bacbPost:98a939dd-5b97-438c-aeef-fef81fdd486f">Bridle Party gifts. Are they a must?</a>:
[QUOTE]We had full intentions of getting out party gifts but unfortunately we have hit a financial bind. Recently my FI has lost his job due to a poor economy and have been hit with a lot of medical bills that needed to be paid off asap. Leaving us on a tight budget with less then a month away from the wedding.  So would it be awful if we did not get them something due to the circumstances? We feel awful but it just does not seem like we can fit that in right now. 
Posted by Star1324[/QUOTE]

One summer I was a camp counselor. One of the camper's mother was very upset because she didn't realize how much the other parents were planning on tipping. She told this to our head counselor in confidence who then, in turn, told us in confidence.
When we each received our tip from her, which was noticeably less than the other campers parents had given us, along with very sweet, personalized thank you cards, we went right up to her thanked her and told her what an amazing child she had raised.


I'm trying to tell you... without this coming out wrong... that although it wouldn't be the worst earth shattering thing in the world to do...
It wouldn't be the nicest thing you could do, either.
Get them each $5 gift cards to their favorite store or restaurant. If money is really that tight, cut corners elsewhere.
I'm not saying you <span style="font-style:italic;">have</span> to get them gifts, but not getting them gifts might be worse.

mwhitson14

Well, I got both of mine something very small, one just got a simple strand of nice pearls and the other got Mommy and Me monogrammed aprons (her daughter was our FG).

That said, the BM that was supposed to get the aprons walked out shortly after pics, and didn't even say goodbye, so she never got her gift.

Birdie1483

What about making something? Like a personalized picture frame with a picture of the two of you in it and a special note. You can get cheap art supplies from Hobby Lobby or something and it would probably mean more to them than a lot of things.

brookelynpaisley

You should at least do something to thank them. They're spending money for dresses, travel (if applicable), etc. to be in your wedding. I'm not saying gifts are pay back, but a thank you is in order. I'm with Brie on at least a sincere note. And I would think you could probably cut something out somewhere to get them small gift cards.

topchef33

Im sure that they will understand if you can only afford to give a $5 gc or a nice photo of each of them with you and your FI.

(is anyone else having this problem: when you click the apostrophe or slash key, this Quick Find things keeps popping up at the bottom of my screen? cause I cant use those keys without it popping up.)

michaelandjulie2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridle-party-gifts-must?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:776174fa-595c-4ade-9fb0-a25b4dc3bacbPost:dc619b9e-2ea2-4d81-bd3b-a416ef7c0f33">Re: Bridle Party gifts. Are they a must?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridle Party gifts. Are they a must? : Does $5 even get you anything at Starbucks? 
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

<div>In most areas it does. When I visited NYC it did not. I think I would rather get $5 to a place where $5 has a good chance at covering a drink, rather than a restaurant where it might be enough to get half an entrée. </div><div>
</div><div>However, perhaps a gift card to a local coffee shop might be a better suggestion since those are generally more reasonably priced. </div>

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridle-party-gifts-must?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:776174fa-595c-4ade-9fb0-a25b4dc3bacbPost:dc619b9e-2ea2-4d81-bd3b-a416ef7c0f33">Re: Bridle Party gifts. Are they a must?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridle Party gifts. Are they a must? : Does $5 even get you anything at Starbucks? 
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

I hope so, because I put one for each of my bridesmaids in their gifts bags. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" /> No, but really, it won't buy anyone a coffee and lunch there, but you can definitely get a drink (of a variety of sorts) in all sizes for $5 or less. You can buy several cups of drip brew for $5 as well.

Midgetth

I'm taking my girls for a manicure a few days before the wedding as my gift to them. Around me manicures are only $10. I agree that you should do soemthing even if it's a $5 gift card some where & definetly a nice heartfelt thank you card/letter

JennaV26

You need to get them something. I agree with everyone that it can be something really small but definitely write them a thoughtful thank you card, that will make the gift so much better!

I really think you should watch Hobby Lobby for the next month because they have crazy sales every week. Sometimes their picture frames are half off and ditto with all of their other items. I've gotten some pretty bangin things from there during sales!

klreese0213

i know you're not suppose to give jewerly for your wedding as a GIFT, but maybe you could find some cheap beading, etc and make your girls some braclets or earrings. and maybe you could buy the guys cheap baseball tickets. i know they have $10 tickets for baseballs here (for poor seats but still).
i would say make room in the budget for gifts. even the smallest thing.

bonnyandtim

Yes, I agree...I know jewelry is a "taboo" gift, but actually in my area, it is common & even customary (my BMs are getting jewelry, & some other small things). DIYing jewelry would be a fun project.

That aside, maybe you can go to the $1 store or the $1 sections of Michael's & Target. Bath & Body Works is also having their sale right now.

If I were a BM & the bride & everyone were on a budget, I would LOVE lip gloss, mirror, manicure set...any $1 or so beauty item that could be used at the wedding & beyond.

You could easily get a few $1 items as a nice gift. That would probably be the same as the $5 gift card idea.

sexymander

I agree with the Target dollar area.  My mom does small gifts for a few people she works with around Christmas and she usually gets it all from the Target $1 section.  You can find cute gift bags or small buckets.  They usually always have some kind of manicure set and some body lotions and things.  You can get a good bit of stuff for a few bucks per person.

beamer84

You could do DIY gifts. My friends and I make our own necklaces and bracelets sometimes, and they come out as nice as a piece of jewelery worth 3 times what we paid for the materials.

I agree with PP on at least nice cards with heartfelt notes.

brit_bell90

If you have a bath and body works outlet store near you that could be a great way to get cheap gifts. If I'm broke and need to get someone a small gift, I always go there and get a lot of smaller lotions and things for very cheap. Put them in a cute basket, and there you go! 

Xtine22

I'm going on the other side (coming from someone who's FI also lost their job thankfully has one even not totally full time but money coming in) If I knew my friend was having financial trouble I wouldn't except anything from her. Even a $5 gift at the time x however many in your wedding party can be alot if you are already having financial trouble. They are all you close friends/family members I'm sure they would understand. A nice thank you note and a IOU if you really want to do something. I would say if you can do something yes but they are your closest friends/family they would understand if you need a raincheck.

budvar1012

I agree with Xtine, I think your close relationship with these people would come into play....i wo\uldn't want any big gift from someone who I know has lost half their income, and I'm sure they know about your situation.

A lovely thank you note with an IOU for when financial times are better would be fine by me if I were one of them. If it's killing you to think of not getting them anything now, then yeah I think a small picture frame with a nice photo like suggested above is a nice thing, as is the target (say it TarJJHEY) idea. Making jewelry is great if you've already got the hardware for making it--I do, and it's a great, fun gift, but if you need to get the pliers, parts, beads, etc, etc, I can see it ending up costing more than you'd planned.

fallingwater

Ok so this might sound cheap, but it def helped me a lot more than I thought it would.  I went onto my visa scorecard and used the points I had earned, and some points my mom had earned, and ordered brandname wristlets that I wouldnt ordinarily be able to afford.  They'll be getting something else small, and a really nice thoughtful note, but we're on a very tight budget and this saved me about $100.  Hopefully you'll be able to do the same thing.  Even discover cards (I think) will put the money you've earned back into a savings or checking account because of the rewards you have and you could use this money to purchas something small.  Victorias Secret, Bath and Body works, and other shops like this often run "free" item deals or "$10 off" something.  From experience, Victoria's Secret will send out free coupons for $10 a bra or other purchase and a free pair of underwear.  Now, I'm not saying by your girls thongs, but grab one for yourself (for the honeymoon if you'd like) and then use the $10 off part to buy some perfume or lotions or something that smells nice.  This will be less expensive for you, but still thoughtful.  I just wouldn't brag about how much you did or did not spend. 

Good luck!