Wedding Etiquette Forum

Confused on a plus one...

One of my bridesmaids just started dating someone a couple months ago. When my FI and I made our guest list, they were not dating.  We are now 2 months away from the wedding and invitations are going out.  We are already a little over on our guest list (mostly because we know a lot of family are not coming) and we can't really keep adding people.  We decided to send the invitation to just her, but I would like to offer for him to come as long as our RSVPs are under the number we had planned.  

The other issue is that my single BMs feel like they should've been given the option to bring a guest if this other BM gets to bring her boyfriend.  We unfortunately can not afford to have everyone do that.  

Did I mess this whole thing up?  Please let me know your thoughts.

Re: Confused on a plus one...

  • I understand wanting to let your BM bring her boyfriend but if the other BM's will get upset because they can't also bring a guest, I think it's best to either let them all bring a guest or have none of them bring a guest. Unless the BM is engaged or has been in a serious, long term relationship I don't think you're obligated to invite him to the wedding. Let all your BM's just party together and celebrate your big day, they don't all need to have guests to have a good time!
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  • How long is a couple months ago? I really do think an invite should be extended to couples (assuming they're fairly serious, which this sounds like it isn't just a flavour of the month).

    For single guests, it isn't inappropriate to not include a plus one for them. It would be very kind of you to allow the WP a plus one if they're single, but you do not have to. A couple is a social unit so that's a diferent thing.
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